Embarrassing problem re claustrophobia/underwear

[gratefulbutsad]

Ok. Firstly. I am a woman. Please do not report me for being a man....

I have an embarrassing predicament. I accidentally stopped wearing knickers over a period of time and now I fear I can never go back. I'm looking for advice, has anyone had similar? Maybe with bras, socks, an item of clothing? How do I go back.. here is the full lowdown. (Pun unintended).

I used to wear knickers around the clock, bed, everyday, gym - that was normal to me and I'm sure all of you.

I was speaking to my partner one day about 6 years ago, telling him that after the gym my underwear is soaked through in sweat. He genuinely asked why I bother wearing them, gym leggings are designed to absorb sweat and keep me cool.

I'd never thought of that before..... and one day tried going commando.

Separately in bed, he sleeps naked and I used to wear knickers under pyjamas or on their own and he used to joke 'what are all these clothes' and over time I just joined him sleeping totally starkers.

I didn't know it at the time but these very small tweaks led me down a path...

Pandemic hit, I lived in gym leggings. I didn't wear knickers. I also put on quite a lot of weight, so when the time came to put them on again, I realised I was SO much more comfy without them!!!

Went on holiday end of summer 2020 and was able to wear bikini bottoms, then by summer 2021, I was so claustrophobic in them that I wouldn't wear them to breakfast and would last on the subbed as long as possible then cave in and put them on just to lay there and swim but take them off to walk back to the room.

I've tried buying so many different types but have also since had a c-section and they itch my keloid scar, they feel tight on my legs, and I don't like the feeling anymore.

I'm so self conscious as this is not normal!!! It's been nearly 5 years since the decline in wearing them started.

I just cannot stand the thought of wearing them!! Help.

AIBU just to be a commando woman the rest of my life? Should I even care? If I feel free and happier then maybe I am being unreasonable on myself. I'm deeply ashamed and embarrassed and would do anything to go back to my non stop knickers days.

Worth mentioning I also used to wear jeans everyday and I can't stand them now, as I got older I just didn't like the feel of them. Even pre pandemic but especially post pandemic when I put on weight anyway. Is getting older becoming for comfortable and sure of who you are???

That question still hasn't been answered, has it?

I used to go commando quite often when I was younger, nowadays I don't go anywhere without a Tena.

I wear pants most of the time, but there has been times when I've taken them off if wearing a maxi dress (coming home from beach, elastic has gone etc) and I can see why people find it liberating.

However I couldn't do it all the time because of bodily functions etc (and to be honest I live in short flippy dresses so probably flash my pants too much!).

I definitely sleep sans pants in bed though unless period!

Haven’t read the whole thread but if you want to go commando there’s nothing wrong with that.

I personally wear thongs as I literally cannot feel them when I wear them, I cannot bear pants or shorts or any other underwear variation. I sometimes sleep naked too.

Find a style you like if you want to wear underwear but in the correct size. I buy 1-2 sizes above my clothing size to feel comfortable and usually something with some elastic or stretch too.

And as previous posters have mentioned, although I can’t feel my underwear I wear it because of discharge or a period etc I don’t feel
comfortable without it. It’s up to you what you do with your own body.

Underwear absolutely has a protective layer. They are double layered cotton. Even the smallest amount of discharge will go right through a pair of gym leggings, they're literally designed to wick moisture away from your skin. If you think that's fine in a public gym, I genuinely don't know what to say to you.
Discharge is normal.

@basketofsoftkittens You sound either small minded or male. Having secretions is nothing to do with hygiene, it's a normal part of being female. Even if knickers are cotton they are an extra layer to catch stuff.

@BodyKeepingScore most women I know of my age get anything from a small to a huge amount of discharge daily. Many I know can't cope without a pantyliner let alone without knickers. Assuming this thread is genuine and isn't hijacked by men, struggling to understand why this is surprising?

Nope, no knickers here either.

High leg, they're too high up, lower the leg isn't big enough, I have a big fat muff and the gusset doesn't cover all it needs to so then theres pube trappage and rubbing and so forth.

So I wear loose jersey cotton trousers and change them daily.

There is no seepage, leakage etc, I have a big fat muff, it keeps everything tidied away nicely until I go to the loo and I have a fancy fanny washing loo so mines washed multiple times a day!

I hate to tell some of you but... two layers of cotton between your leaky flaps rather than one, will not stop germs/pathogens travelling from your crotch to whatever you're sat on.

There must be a dozen or so women now on here who have said they have done away with underwear. So why is it so surprising?

Actually PP has hilariously described a big fat muff which is a point, we are all made differently.

Some have everything very much tucked away, nothing on show (larger flaps basically) and others probably don't have that and maybes that why some feel 'leaks' which I do not.

I hate to tell some of you but... two layers of cotton between your leaky flaps rather than one, will not stop germs/pathogens travelling from your crotch to whatever you're sat on.

I think your wording here is a little harsh! Discharge is perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed of! I for one wouldn’t be able to go without wearing pants and not have discharge show on my gym leggings at certain points in my cycle, that’s just my body. I don’t think anyone is saying people are any more or less disgusting because they do or don’t wear underwear!

Edited for terrible grammar!!

Exactly OP, so you do what feels right for you and your body and don’t feel shame over it. If it’s comfortable for you then thats fine. Less bits of laundry to wash as well.

Edited for typos

Vaginal discharge, period blood and also some level of urine leakage is common in women who've had children without it being a huge medical issue. Of course a vagina can have things coming out of it.

Not entirely sure why you felt the need to make a thread about this. If you don't want to wear underwear, don't. It's that simple.

Hmm.

My daughter is Autistic...won't wear pants or socks...I also hate wearing g pants too...who cares as long as you are clean and decent!

I am not menopausal and I don't have any kind of leakage. We are all different.

Yes discharge is normal. Cotton is also a passable fabric is my point, fluid is not contained on double layered cotton is it.

And no where did I say it was abnormal, nor am I a male. I am a woman that wears underwear everyday. I am just trying to point out that cotton it is not protecting anything from fluid. It’s basic osmosis.

Vaginal discharge is probably contained perfectly well by double layered, naturally absorbent cotton, actually. Certainly better than a single layer of spandex.

Why do people keep saying this thread is full of men pretending to be women who prefer not wearing underwear for a kick. What a strange thing to assume.

It absolutely will be full of men. Underwear, discharge, bare parts in leggings. Like moths to a flame. You're very naive if you think otherwise.

I read (the Guardian, if such things matter to you) that every time you fart, you pass some very tiny bit of matter as well. So if your choice is to go without, I think that's fine,but personally I wouldn't want to walk around in a skirt that had shit on it, however tiny that amount of shit was. So if I chose to do as you do, I'd only be wearing my outer clothes once before washing them.

It's not strange at all if you know men.

Where have I stated that it is not better than a single layer of spandex, nor have I mentioned that going to the gym without underwear is something I agree or do not agree with. My opinion was nothing to do with spandex or the gym. It was to do with someone being told financial advice they were not asking for, then a comment about someone using a grim emoji and what that says about them and their personal hygiene if a basic female bodily function is grim????
Maybe don’t take a comment that does not mention the gym and spandex, twist it and make it all about that.
My point is, underwear is not protective for vaginal discharge, it may aid in absorbing some, but your underwear will still come into contact with your clothing will it not