Dd and her boyfriend canoodling on the sofa every evening

[Milsonophonia]

Dd21 is at home for the summer before going back to uni in September. She has a boyfriend who is pleasant enough. He often comes to stay. He's a nice boy, but doesn't lift a finger when he's staying. Dd gets irritated if I ask them to load the dishwasher or take the dog out. They both have part time jobs.

My AIBU - really its a AWBU because it drives dh mad too - is that they sit on the sofa in the evening when we are all watching TV and they cannot keep their hands off each other. Constantly stroking each other hair, kissing each others arms etc. It gives me the ick and actually I think it's not hugely polite of him. It's like dh and I aren't even there. It makes me feel really uncomfortable and dh often just leaves the room and goes upstairs to watch TV.

I want to tell them to stop but AIBU?

@TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewcross If they were partners they would have their own place. They're boyfriend/girlfriend.

Sit opposite them with popcorn and shout out "GWAN GIRL! GET IN!!"

Urrrghh my older brother does this with his girlfriend. It's SO inappropriate and makes everyone uncomfortable 🤢

He does stay over!!

That's half the point of the post!!

He stays and gets waited on

I’m sorry you had to put up with abuse like that from your Dad. He had no right to treat you like that or call you names. Clearly you are not a prostitute and your behaviour was completely normal.

My friends ds and his girlfriend were like that . Friend and her husband were sat in opposite sofa in living room. Friend and husband started snogging madly like teenagers - she said the look on ds and his girlfriends faces were priceless . They reigned in the affections from then on 😂😂😘😘

I'd be chucking a pan scrub at them and telling them to do the bloody washing up! You want to canoodle on my sofa? You act like adults and do some bloody clearing up, you lazy pair of slatterns.

dont have particularly strong feelings about this either way, but just wanted to say top marks for using the term canoodling. I love these archaic terms-probably too late for a comeback for Flibbertigibbet, but one lives in hope.

I don't understand why you can't just say "right, you two are on cleanup duty tonight," or "please confine the PDA to your room."

These are basic adult measures not extreme requests. Why on earth can't you require suitable decorum in your own home ?

Same here.

I really don't get it. People need to massively raise their standards.

Why haven't you just said all this to her? What was she like before re how she behaved at home, did she show respect and empty the dishwasher / and do her bit before? Both my ds's have jobs they need to do each week.

Comes over, doesn’t sleep over.

You're the parent and it's your home. Keep telling them to do chores, that's fine.

"Sorry guys, but can you stop with the touchy feeling stuff, it's making me cringe over here. If you want to be stroking and kissing, please go elsewhere".

You're the parent. It's ok to say no.

Omg!

Cancel the cheque.

He does sleep over, as I've said a few times now

Oh no,@Milsonophonia I’m soooo sorry, it was @Pigeonqueen who said she wouldn’t allow it. Completely my mistake and sorry for my comments to you about this. I’ve driven you nuts 🙈🙈

@Milsonophonia oohing with pleasure

WTAF?! In front of you, her parents?!?!?! JFC. They'd be kicked out if they did this in my house!

Absolutely no worries!! Thank you

I was never allowed my long term boyfriend over to stay, and I fully respected that. I wasn’t allowed to stay at his, either. When i was away at uni, he obviously spent a lot of time with me and they knew it, but “not under their roof” was their boundary.

I don’t know what I’ll be like when/if my own kids want partners over.

I have never given a second thought to boyfriends staying over - but both older dds are in long term relationships. I'm not sure I would have been happy with a string of randos!

My DS and his then GF stayed with me - I told my son that I didn't want to hear it nor see it.

Your DD might be making a rod for her own back by letting her BF get away with not doing chores.

This.

WTF is wrong with people??

Well done @Pigeonqueen for setting boundaries that best suit your family, in your own home 👏👏👏.

OP, bf has been behaving how he's been allowed to.

Absolutely nothing wrong with having a word, either with your DD or both.

Had a similar thing with friend's daughter when I was visiting. First time it happened, friend told them to go to her room if they were going to be antisocial.
Nipped it in the bud and they stayed.

Same for when grown-up couples are out in a group and one couple starts behaving like this, it's annoying at the best of times.
No one saying don't be that way, but there's a time and place.

Them making it uncomfortable for the other four is not on.

Have a bloody word!

'DD, It's great that you and X feel so comfy here, however the slobbering over each other in the communal areas of the house makes others feel very uncomfortable, please respect everyone else who lives here too.

On that note, we'd all appreciate it if you and X pulled your weight with regard to tidying/cooking/general household chores, this isn't actually a hotel and if it were you'd be paying £££ a night!'

AND THEN... if thats not heeded, stop tidying up after them, stop cooking for them and sit on your DH's lap each night oohing and cooing and slobbering until they get the fucking message!

I am surprised that a 21 year old does not realise that such displays of affection are inappropriate in front of her parents.

And they are both behaving in a very rude and entitled way. They are no longer children who have to be supported by you and your husband.. They are adults who should behave like adults. They should not be getting up late and lounging about all day. It is totally unacceptable, and I think you need to speak to your daughter. I realise this selfish behaviour should have been addressed before now but better late than never.