Dd and her boyfriend canoodling on the sofa every evening

[Milsonophonia]

Dd21 is at home for the summer before going back to uni in September. She has a boyfriend who is pleasant enough. He often comes to stay. He's a nice boy, but doesn't lift a finger when he's staying. Dd gets irritated if I ask them to load the dishwasher or take the dog out. They both have part time jobs.

My AIBU - really its a AWBU because it drives dh mad too - is that they sit on the sofa in the evening when we are all watching TV and they cannot keep their hands off each other. Constantly stroking each other hair, kissing each others arms etc. It gives me the ick and actually I think it's not hugely polite of him. It's like dh and I aren't even there. It makes me feel really uncomfortable and dh often just leaves the room and goes upstairs to watch TV.

I want to tell them to stop but AIBU?

The adult affection or polite applause at some point may be the way to go, if you don't want to be blunt.

Much as like you don't like it, the lack of basic help around the house would annoy me more.

Then hoover loudly outside the room until they come out.

Because neither of them do anything around the house - happy to leave it to the OP and her husband

Rude!

Then canoodling all over the sofa in front of them

Also rude!

Tell your daughter to knock it on the head or he doesn't come round. Gross

Attitudes like this always interest me because it’s not outside the realms of possibility that one day you may need help of some description and that might involve someone having to stay over.

People remember how you treat them.

Fair enough if it makes you moderately uncomfortable, but everyone enjoys their own space but equally understand that they have to sometimes compromise because - hey, that’s life.

We are all strangers at one point. If you never allow anyone to meet new people and strangers then they’re hardly going to be able to forge ahead with life.

If someone was just coming over to visit and maybe staying the odd night, I’m not sure how many of the household duties I’d expect them to help with to be honest.

The canoodling is a bit grotesque but some people are like that.

I am absolutely more than happy for my dds boyfriend to stay over. They are 21, theyve been together for over a year now. I have a younger dc who likes the boyfriend and they are very sweet about taking young dc out and about with them. Yes they have sex in my house but I've never heard them!!

”Showing you she’s his now”

What a ridiculous post.

”Showing you she’s his now”

What a ridiculous post

ah well. Theres no pleasing everyone but judging by the thanks I’ve had for it others haven’t thought it was ridiculous.

I have noticed you though. 😘

The OP says it’s something they’d never allow. She doesn’t say that’s the reason she doesn’t allow him to stay over.

I do allow him to stay over! Not sure where people are getting that I don't 🤔

You got no thanks from me, now you come to mention it.

I just thought it was a weird post.

You shouldn’t feel uncomfortable in your own home. I wouldn’t like any of my kids snogging on the sofa next to me - or anyone to be honest. Keep PDAs for the bedroom.

Wouldn't mind bfs staying, I wouldn't mind them not helping out but at that age they should either be out socialising or if at home watching tv in their room not snogging on the sofa with everyone else feeling awkward.

You mention another DD. I have two DDs and they would rip the piss out of each other mercilessly if one was behaving like this with her BF.

Crazy disrespectful that they’re moaning and basically doing foreplay in front of you, let alone the total lack of help when they’re staying. Serious words needed.

You got no thanks from me, now you come to mention it.

I just thought it was a weird post

no problem at all.

She goes upstairs! Another reason to have a word.

I don't mind them watching films and TV with us (we are quite isolated so they can't just pop out to the pub) but not with the oohing and ahing!

Yes of course, we like watching tv with ours and their bf/gfs. You just need to tell them that if they want to snog etc they do it in her room.

🤮

I agree, I wouldn't be having it either. I'm a dad and my daughter wouldn't even ask because she knows what the asker would be about staying over.

Oh yes! See how long they stay watching the oldies. 🤣

I know this is a little childish (!) but I think you need to get DH on side and start canoodling with him in front of them in the same manner that they do. That will either get them to stop (because they realise how uncomfortable it makes others feel) or leave the room. Problem solved.