Was I being unkind? Women filming themselves in their pants

[LivingInStrangeTimes]

I was scrolling through tiktok and came across a video of a woman showing a jumpsuit outfit which she is reccomending people buy.

The strange part to me is that the video begins with her standing there in tiny knickers and a bra then she gets dressed into the jumpsuit.

I perhaps shouldn't have said anything at all but left the following comment

"You look lovely. I'm not being unkind but why has it become so normalised to upload videos of ourselves in our underwear? You don't have to expose yourself like that to show the garment x"

Cue a pile on and her getting pissed off because apparently I'm only saying it because of her body type - which had absolutely nothing to do with it for me. We actually look quite similar in the buff!

I'm seeing more and more of these videos and it has become the new normal and done thing on social media for people who want to show clothes, to stand their in their pants beforehand and have you watch them get dressed.

Was I being unreasonable to say what I said and am I unreasonable for thinking its fucking weird and unnecessary?

"I want to show you this dress, but first here's my knickers!"

Edited to add - I mention women specifically because I'm not seeing any of these videos from men.. and nor do I want to 😐

Did you maybe grow up in a strict Christian cult?

Or the 1830s?

There are many reasons for me
Maybe you should not pile your personal preferences on other people social media.
You are free to post your own content in any way you want and instruct your child what to post. But don't patronise other adults.

Should 13yo boys be watching 35-40yo women getting dressed?
Most teen boys watch women getting undressed, sorry to break it to you.

@Gifgaf wow. Thank you. That's so good to know. I really don't know enough as to how this all works.

You've answered OPs question entirely! OP - no more comment ever! We'll come and moan about it on here instead!

It's also not for the purposes of titillating men

... that, I suspect is what's pissing these people off!

Prancing about
Showing their bodies
Half naked
Flashing the gash

Several PPs seem unable to comprehend that women can appear in their underwear for reasons that have nothing to do with men or men's desires. It's almost like they only ever see undressed women in 'adult' content and cannot actually believe normal women wear normal underwear while changing, normally, out of one normal outfit into another. To show other normal women how they fit: not to flash, display, flaunt or any other Daily Mail-inspired prurient verb inviting male judgement.

Bless them, their tiny, sleazy minds and their sticky, hairy hands 😂

@sunseaandsoundingoff you don't have to be of that ilk to feel as OP feels. I get why she's thinking oh just put some clobber on, come on.

If SM was around during my younger days I'd be finished - whore of Babylon.

@Pantaloons99 Ive not heard about that but I can imagine it exists. I think society sends out very conflicting messages to young people re SM.

I get why she's thinking oh just put some clobber on, come on.

That is the entire purpose of these videos. What you're "getting" is something you've made up in your head and are thrashing relentlessly.

Also, your earlier post about "redpill guys" misusing female content is pointless, irrelevant and apparently designed to frighten women into quiet modesty. Are you the Taliban?

Misogynist males will misuse any bloody content, regardless. They probably have whole forums dedicated to women shamelessly showing their fingers out of the sleeves of their burkas 🙄

Several PPs seem unable to comprehend that women can appear in their underwear for reasons that have nothing to do with men or men's desires. It's almost like they only ever see undressed women in 'adult' content and cannot actually believe normal women wear normal underwear while changing, normally, out of one normal outfit into another. To show other normal women how they fit: not to flash, display, flaunt or any other Daily Mail-inspired prurient verb inviting male judgement.

But isn’t the problem because of how female bodies are so sexualised in media & for the male gaze. A women doing something completely innocuous will be described as flaunting etc.

A women doing something completely innocuous will be described as flaunting etc.

Yes.

And ...? Women should stop doing innocuous things, because men?

Exposing is different to me than people who just happen to be in underwear to try on clothes

You came across as judgemental and prudish

@Garlicfest yes I think there may be some truth in your comment.

I love the saying ' flash the gash'. I'm incredibly uncultured and uncouth in many ways. I love to drop the c bomb in the right company. That use of language does not encapsulate or reflect my value system.

I'm also the antithesis of the DM commenter. I'm on the DM stereotype target list for many reasons!

Some of us don't fit into one neat category on this as one poster noted.

I believe as women we often know that other women are grabbing attention and yes that's their intent and it's irritating. Why? Maybe on one level we might think,can you just stop playing into this role. Can we just be more than that. Just stop it FFS.

And yes, absolutely, not every single act is for male attention. I don't think that.

There used to be some shame attached to narcissistic vanity. Those days are sadly gone and many people will do anything to shamelessly court attention. Social media makes its money from this tendency and so such people are now emboldened to centre and expose themselves in ways that are probably unhealthy socially and personally. I don’t see it improving before the collapse of civilisation.

And ...? Women should stop doing innocuous things, because men?

Im not sure how that is your take away? I don’t think you can stop sexism without acknowledging it & I don’t think acknowledging it will make it go away.

There used to be some shame attached to narcissistic vanity.

Tbf there still is in the real world, same with showing off. On SM anything goes!

Unfortunately I have yes.

I'm adamant that I won't let my kids have social media for as long as I can reasonably prevent it.

I know they're going to access it regardless and the thought really troubles me.

My DSS is just coming up to his 12th birthday and he is on these apps. It's one of the main points of contention between his dad and I when it comes to parenting. Him and his ex partner are OK with it so that's that.

I really, really don't want my kids on social media absorbing all of the sick shit that is out there.

They're stunning in your pic xxx

Why ask op if you’re so sure you’re right. Just how many people need to say you’re wrong. Fine you don’t like to see women in their underwear and it makes you angry. That’s fine. Don’t look. Move on. Her body. Her right. Not yours.

Then teach them to use it responsibly, not just ban. Thats lazy parenting.

@Katbum I believe you are 100% correct. I think it was Dr Ramani on YouTube saying this exact same thing.

@LivingInStrangeTimes yes. I knew from your post that this was feeding into your thinking behind the scenes. Because it's what fed into mine and my comments also.

I would do anything imaginable to get those apps off the kids' phones. I cannot stress enough how I believe that needs to be a priority beyond any other parenting priority right now. It will blow your mind what is on Snap chat,TikTok, Reddit, also now has easy accessible pornography I've heard various kids discussing. If you can go through it,screenshot it and send some examples to other parent, they might see differently? 🤷‍♀️ Alot of parents don't realise what's out there.

No, it's not lazy parenting.

It's parenting after first hand experience of being a child of 12-13 with access to social media that I shouldn't have had.

The amount of paedophiles and other sick individuals online is off the charts.

Children under 15-16 do not need to be on social media.

My DD's school is encouraging parents to keep kids off smartphones and off social media for as long as feasibily possible. I agree with them completely.

Lazy parenting is buying your kid a smartphone and letting them piss about on social media from the age of 10-11+ because it gives you a bit of peace and quiet.

Why ask op if you’re so sure you’re right

Err, how would MNs exist using this logic 😆😆

@Garlicfest from my posts you are coming to the conclusion that I am a Taliban sympathiser? A Taliban proponent? Seriously?

For sure, a life under the Taliban, or say a religious Trad wife lifestyle sounds just swell to me - clearly based on what I've said.

So again, some of us are not fitting into one neat box or category here. We can say ' yes I think that's a stretch too far, ' ' I agree with that point but not that point ' or even yes shockingly ' this isn't helping women in general particularly, I see why these people ( and yes, I see them as absolute idiots), are utilising this to push an agenda I don't personally ever want to see come to fruition.

Could you be any more condescending?

You have no idea what your grandmother/your daughter's great grandmother would do if she were in her 20s now. Or indeed what she did/how she behaved when she was in her twenties 50/60 plus years ago.

You sound very naive.

One day I was incredibly bored and I googled bikinis 1920s all the way through to 2020s. They have definitely got smaller and I think it's a reflection of the whole direction. Specifically they got smaller with the introduction of colour TV. So I guess with the introduction of make your own videos its now moved further on.