to feel hurt at being left out by family members?

[user092521]

I am feeling really hurt but don't know whether to say anything. I should preface this by saying that I admit that I've not shown much interest in this type of event previously. However I've just found out via social media that my three siblings and their entire families have all been to an event and not invited me and my family. It's a reasonably pricey weekend and I have never been to that sort of event before but there would have been no reason to think that either we couldn't afford to go or that we wouldn't want to join them. I knew that one of my siblings was attending with their family. The other two I didn't know about. They didn't invite us. We all have families with kids still at home and of fairly similar ages who all get on.

We all get on in general and I rely on them as friends since I don't have that many close friends.

I'm now feeling sad about it but don't know whether to say anything. It doesn't really achieve anything since the moment has been and gone but I feel really left out.

I suspect I'll just leave it but WWYD?

I can't believe the way some posters have responded. Of course you have every right to be upset, anyone would be, as being the only one not asked. It would be different if there were 2 siblings not asked, but leaving you out like that? Not good. If it was me, I would distance myself and see if they come to you and ask why you're upset. But I can be petty 😂 hope you get over it, it's not a nice feeling getting left out

YANBU.
I would be hurt.
This happens on my in laws side. They treat me “not so nicely.”
Imagine you get a bottle of perfume from Charlie (nothing wrong with that) but the others get Dior/Chanel. If you complain you look greedy, if you don’t, you accept their behaviour. Your “D”H sees nothing wrong and states they aren’t materialistic but also doesn’t “believe in presents” however expects and accepts presents.
it’s a mind fuck.
they have a excluded you. If you complain they will say well we didn’t think you wanted to go! If you accept that it will happen again and again. If you don’t accept it and get “stroppy” they’ll say well we won’t plan anything or say they don’t want you to go as “look what’s happened last time.”
be honest OP.
Has this happened before in other ways?

Yes the moment has been and gone. But it's upset you, so you should definitely say how you feel, if just for next time.

Just ask- is there a reason I was excluded. When they come up with their reasons just say I'm feeling pretty hurt by this, and no more.

Could you just say to them that from their pictures it looked like great fun and if they go again, you’d really fancy it? I understand you’re hurt but given how close you are, I’m sure it was unintentional and not worth falling out over.

Yes you said that you knew one sibling was going??

If you don't say anything though, you may miss out on other events - who knows how many others there's been but no photos taken

I would have to ask them outright. You can ask them without sounding confrontational or needy, it doesn't have to escalate into a rift. I would do it either face to face or when on a group video call with all of them. Be light hearted and ask to be invited next time, because it looks like fun &you love spending time together.

I don't know what the heck is going on with this thread lol your not being unreasonable OP. They've excluded you and your kids knowingly, think about all the logistics and planning to get there etc. Maybe mention something to the one sibling who has noticed, discreetly, and if there is an innocent explanation they might let you know but I doubt it. If it was me i would send a message on the group chat saying what happened, it would have been nice to have been invited, thanks guys. But you may see that as confrontational x

I think it's perfectly reasonable for you to feel hurt by this. If all siblings and children were going except you and yours, they should have asked you along. I would say something. It will at least make them aware of it and hopefully they'll be more mindful in future to not leave you out. It's not nice for you or for your kids. Unfortunately, me and my children have been excluded many times by my family so I know how hurtful it is

Do you know that the siblings were invited though? They could have just decided to go themselves either entirely independently or inspired by DB going and talking about it and decided it sounded fun. It is maybe odd that neither of the other 2 siblings mentioned it if ye have met in the last week so nut maybe it just didn't come up

For me I would have hated a festival. I would say I hope that you all had a great time it looks amazing we’d love to join you in something fun like that if you do it again. No saying you’re upset or blaming someone just stating that fact.

This would hurt me too, you have every reason to feel that way.
personally, I would pick the sibling in closest too & approach it in a non confrontational way. Say ‘it’s a shame we didn’t know you were going, we would have loved to tag along- maybe next time?’
I hope you’re ok. X

I would be hurt too, but is it possible they didn't actually invite anyone? Maybe the other two siblings heard about it and either bought tickets separately or asked if they could tag along?

I would definitely say something along the lines of "the pics looked fab, we would have come if we had known you were all going, let us know next time and we'll come too." It's not stirring up issues or blaming anyone for going but making it clear you would like to be invited next time.