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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Expecting to be met at Arrivals

827 replies

FarFarWay · 27/08/2024 09:49

(OK, this a while ago - but |I have never cleared it up in my mind; I need other opinions.)

Travelling with an 8 year old, to meet people who I don't really know (even though technically family), and who the child has never met.

Two flights (one upgraded, the other downgraded, by comparison; no spare time in the airport in Japan, just a mad dash to find the plane!), about 22 hours in the air total, plus the travel down to Heathrow/check-in etc. (Also a week before Christmas). Almost the only child on the flight, and even though a "special meal", most of it was not to her liking - not fussy but never eaten sushi etc. So she was a bit hungry and tired when we landed.

The people we were to be staying with lived approx 40 minutes away.
Not only did a carful of people who my eight year old had never met, EVENTUALLY turn up - but we had to sit and wait for them to get there.

Before anyone says "Let it go....". The main player of that group has recently brought up the trip, and what a (not-quite-but almost-) disaster it was - but the then eight-year-old has never seen these (important, arguably) people ever again, and this is now being held against her by the main player.

Despite appearances, I am not a grudge holder but, in my over-thinking way, I have actually tried to figure out the actual science of this flight and how much time was needed for them to be there to greet us. And I am a bit pissed at the "they", as the delay was blamed on the wife element doing her hair, when she really did not need to come as well, as it made the whole thing into a bigger deal, when we - and especially my daughter - would have really appreciated it being casual and low key - let alone there actually be someone - anyone - present, when we came through the Arrival doors to ---- [crickets].

By my (bad) calculations, they didn't even set off until we landed.... but due to the time-travel aspect of hours behind/ahead, am I getting it wrong?

(PS - on the one hand, this light-hearted, but on the other - as I said, she has never seen them again, and so sometimes, it seems like it happened yesterday.)

OP posts:
IfIHadAHeart · 27/08/2024 09:51

What?

cinammonfishsticks · 27/08/2024 09:51

What did your eight year old do that made the trip almost a disaster?

MermaidEyes · 27/08/2024 09:52

I'm confused. So you were expecting to be met at Arrivals but weren't, and this was blamed on your daughter?

FarFarWay · 27/08/2024 09:52

IfIHadAHeart · 27/08/2024 09:51

What?

Well, the title says it all really...
I find it hard to believe you did read it all before asking you question.
And it's quite clear.

OP posts:
Kitkat1523 · 27/08/2024 09:53

Cba reading….lost me 2 sentences in…im out

FarFarWay · 27/08/2024 09:54

cinammonfishsticks · 27/08/2024 09:51

What did your eight year old do that made the trip almost a disaster?

She didn't do anything wrong at all., There were many reasons (my fault mainly I guess...) that it didn't go well.

OP posts:
SadieDadie · 27/08/2024 09:54

How late were they?

FarFarWay · 27/08/2024 09:54

Kitkat1523 · 27/08/2024 09:53

Cba reading….lost me 2 sentences in…im out

That says more about you than me.
Bye.

OP posts:
donkies · 27/08/2024 09:54

FarFarWay · 27/08/2024 09:52

Well, the title says it all really...
I find it hard to believe you did read it all before asking you question.
And it's quite clear.

The title doesn't say it all and it's really not clear...

Toddlerteaplease · 27/08/2024 09:54

You should have taken snacks for her!

ratherbesurfing · 27/08/2024 09:54

FarFarWay · 27/08/2024 09:52

Well, the title says it all really...
I find it hard to believe you did read it all before asking you question.
And it's quite clear.

I think it’s the way it’s written, it’s really not that clear.

ComtesseDeSpair · 27/08/2024 09:55

As long as they were there to pick you up from the airport (if that’s what the plan was) then I can’t see a problem. There’s nothing “casual and low key” about a group of people all very publicly waiting in arrivals for you to walk through the doors, so I’m not sure why you think it would have been an improvement.

MermaidEyes · 27/08/2024 09:55

Sorry but it's really not a very clear post.

Toddlerteaplease · 27/08/2024 09:55

So the people picking you up, arrived in a large group and were 40 minutes late. I can't really see the issue.

MapleTreeValley · 27/08/2024 09:56

How long did you have to wait at the airport?

SalmonEile · 27/08/2024 09:56

Are they your family or your child’s fathers family?

HelenWheels · 27/08/2024 09:56

what does Crickets mean

BabaYetu · 27/08/2024 09:57

So they made you wait 40 minutes to be collected after a 22hour flight, but that somehow made the whole trip a disaster?

And according to the people you stayed with, that is the fault of an 8 year old?

Is there a big drip feed coming where your overtired and hungry child (because you specifically mention the flight meal) had a tantrum or burst into tears at the relatives, or otherwise offended them? Or threw up or something?

HelenWheels · 27/08/2024 09:57

are you saying no one was there?
that is upsetting i agree

FarFarWay · 27/08/2024 09:57

MermaidEyes · 27/08/2024 09:52

I'm confused. So you were expecting to be met at Arrivals but weren't, and this was blamed on your daughter?

Having travelled halfway around the world - not a surprise visit, it was very very planned - I did yes, expect (they knew there were the two of us) to be met - why wouldn't I?
I didn't say she was blamed. And nor is that the reason for the estrangement. But the main player mentioned the trip when we spoke recently.

OP posts:
SadieDadie · 27/08/2024 09:57

So they arrived 40 mins after you landed. That's about right usually to get your cases and come through border control etc.

Theoldbird · 27/08/2024 09:57

'the main player'? ' the wife element'? seriously? is this some sort of online gamerspeak I will never understand?

angeldelite · 27/08/2024 09:57

It’s only a 40 minute ride, why didn’t you just get a taxi?

Not only did you expect these people to put you up for your holiday but also pick you up?

I live near Heathrow, if I had to pick up every fecking family member that visited London I’d be broke, airport parking is not cheap!

You sound a bit entitled.

Rhaidimiddim · 27/08/2024 09:57

donkies · 27/08/2024 09:54

The title doesn't say it all and it's really not clear...

Agree

SalmonEile · 27/08/2024 09:57

HelenWheels · 27/08/2024 09:56

what does Crickets mean

It means quiet or nothing in this context
so the OP and her daughter were expecting to be met by family and instead there was no welcome for them