To think that high heels are just not worth it

[OrkneyGirl]

I've come back from a girls night out and feet are hurting like feck. Don't get me wrong, I have my fair share of heels but omg why do I honestly wear them?

It’s kind of odd how make up and heels and other creative expressions are always seen on here as being solely for men’s benefit.

some of us just do enjoy looking how we like to look. Is Robert Smith wearing lipstick for the male gaze?

my dream high heels below.

I like the look of heels tbf and I'm a laydee.

But they only look good on people who can walk in them. I've seen a few people recently who look the opposite of sexy in them as they just can't walk in them. So I think you need to know your limit.

There was one girl my sister and I were feeling sorry for in Newcastle city centre, as she honestly could not walk even at a very slow pace in these massive, massive heels. She was leaning on her fella / male friend and this was only about noon on a Saturday. Thought "you've got a long evening ahead of you if you're planning to stay out". Ditto a woman I used to see on the school run last term in big heels and shorts. She honestly looked so uncomfortable, but she kept wearing them. I couldn't work out why, unless she was practising for something as it was 3pm in a London suburb. Nobody would expect you to wear heels for that and it didn't look as if she was enjoying wearing them...🤔. Bit of a mystery really

I believe the approved MN response to this is "Do you mean to be so rude?"

Why on earth do you think you know better than others what their motivation is for doing something? Or that we are allowed to like something other than "for the menz"? So bloody rude.

I don't want pervy men fetishising my feet in heels.

Luckily, I'm empowered and self-confident without the need for validation from faceless women on the internet.

No offence, but “enjoying how you look” and thinking that those boots are the work of the devil aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive.

Never wore high heels, shoes with a heel yes, but they had to be comfortable and a pleasure to wear. No shoe, whether flat, or otherwise, got a second chance if they caused pain, as life is just too short! Nothing of beauty should hurt, goes for uncomfortable clothing too!

One of my ex friends was obsessed with heels. We went out one night and she made some disparaging comment about my flat shoes, and "I don't think you'll get into the club with those on". Once we were in the club I noticed that the younger folk were all in trainers and tracksuit bottoms. By the end of the night, guess which one of us was struggling to walk? Not me.

Yes, this. It's like the only definition of heels on Mumsnet is a spiky stiletto. I live in London and see loads of blocky high heels, platforms and kitten heels. I don't think they've ever gone quite so far out of style as seems to be asserted on here.

So you're allowing (your own perceptions of) the male gaze to dictate how you dress?

Never worn them, never will.

I cannot comprehend why anyone would wear any clothing that would damage them physically.

Not for me, I'm a big walker and heels just aren't practical.
I feel like they only work if aren't expecting to take more then a couple of steps!

You do know that there are thousands of models in the world doing everything from acting as props for hobbyist photographers or life drawing classes to stock images to catwalk models and everything in between?

The vast majority of modelling work is unglamorous and fairly poorly paid, most of us do it because it's fun, creative, you meet lots of new people, and it's a good way to have lovely pictures to look back on and reminisce about when your stomach was flat and you were free of laughter lines.

I've certainly never been offered a smoothie or a trailer, although jaffa cakes are a common perk.

I'm the other side of 40 and have not worn high heels since my teens!

One too many nights out with awfully painful feet and blisters, I gave up on them without any regrets

Today the most I'll wear is a pair of (well made) espadrilles for a bit of height at a wedding/night out

i used to wear them to go out out but haven't for years. the thought of my feet hurting just puts me off. i have a couple of low block heel sandals and some lovely sparkly sling back flats but i gave nearly all my heels to charity. i kept two very very beautiful pairs just to look at occasionally!
i was out in liverpool a couple of weeks ago and i was surprised to see 95% of women in flats or DM style boots. a lot of DM sandals as well. the last time i was out in liverpool it was all heels and little dresses so a real change.

I like them. And that’s ok. Someone out there may like £3 crocs from shoezone that make their feet look like soggy flannels but I hope they enjoy them, please do. Some days I enjoy a croc too. But let me enjoy my clothes please 🙂

”im not like those other girls, i wont wear xyz for the male gaze” is the rhetoric of non solidarity.

And while we are at it, unless you are wearing a wide box toe with adequate arch support then most shoes will damage your feet. DM’s (of which I own several) will bruise you for the first 3 months. Birkenstocks can cause heel cracks plantar fasciitis.

so the “I don’t wear anything that causes pain or deformities” arguments are pretty much null and void across most footwear.

And no high heels because men will fetishise your feet? Lily Allen is currently making £££ by selling pics of her bare feet. Men will fetishise anything, so you may as well wear what you enjoy without some other women aiding and abetting by pouring poison in your ear that your footwear is wrong.

Enjoy your shoes, in all their forms 👍🏻

Interesting, that most women wear make up, nice hairstyles and nice dresses/clothes (obviously absolutely not for men haha), but if you wear heels, you need to explain why you like them because of course you only wear them for men. For the same reason you like above maybe?

I have also been taken aback by the level of contempt towards women who wear heels. As I said upthread, I don't wear them, never have, never will, but I don't care what others do. Unless we are off hiking together!

Like always, in every situation?

Because sometimes I'm a big walker - hiking, running errands, walking the dogs, wandering through a new neighbourhood, visiting a new city or a museum or carrying stuff home from the farmers' market. Sometimes I'm not, like when I'm a guest at a party or a wedding or a christening, going to dinner or the theatre or a drinks party or a formal event. Sometimes I'm in a meeting or an office or wfh. Sometimes I'm out for a run or at the gym.

I have different footwear for different purposes and occasions. Don't most people? I wouldn't look at someone at a party in heels and think, she must not be a big walker. I'd just assume she wasn't doing a big walk right at that moment.

I guess they might 'give you confidence' if you're a shorty and have trouble projecting presence.

'A shorty'? 'Trouble projecting presence'?

I'd judge someone way more harshly for the presence you've just projected than for feeling more confident wearing heels. And I'm not particularly short.

I’m 4’11 & have no trouble projecting my presence without heels.

They are disgusting and not in fashion. Give me a good ankle boot or pair of trainers.

It's very odd isn't it! Who knew some women hated others so much for wearing heels. MN is a very disturbing place sometimes! 😕