Going to bed at 8:30 on holiday

[Sharingshared]

On holiday with DH & kids.
I have turned in at 8:30 after a great day at the beach. DH was planning on going to the lounge area to seeing what's going on, with eldest DC, aged 10.
Ive asked him to stay in the hotel room because I don't see the point of going out at this time. DH has agreed, although it took some convincing. He said I was being strange. Am I?

Do you have a baby op? So you needed to be in the room?

I'd be fine with them going but would also want a night off.

🤣🤣🤣

There is nothing rational about that.

Go to bed early by all means. Expect your DH and eldest to be confined to the hotel room because you get worried - hell no. Completely unreasonable.

Kindly, the nervousness is something you need to work on before you transmit it to your DC.

Going to new places is one of the joys of travelling.

That is very odd. If I felt that tired I'd suggest they go down while I had a nap then join them in an hour or so.

Strange city, which makes me nervous.

But he was only proposing to go to the lounge area (of the hotel)! Why would it be safer if you went with them? And are you going to barricade the whole family in your room for a week because of your nerves?

You sound ridiculous and controlling. Going to bed at 8.30 like a toddler and no one else is allowed out of the room. If my husband had said he didn't want me to leave the room after 8.30 my response would have been haha NO get a life.

Well mumsnet is popping out these bizarre crazy stories tonight. I don't belive this story for 1 minute.

Every time I go on holiday it's a strange city/country, as otherwise I might as well stay at home. If you don't want to embrace it, let them go on holiday by themselves.

No it’s not normal - you are being very unreasonable

My mother was like you OP, it instilled a deep fun-sponge anxiety in me that has taken several years to undo.

Two choices: get over yourself and just let them exist without your control OR get up, get out of bed and go with them then corral back to the hotel room before they turn into pumpkins.

Unless there is a massive dripfeed about DH doing rails off a sex worker's arse and going on a huge bender with DC in tow, you're being very very controlling.

This thread will go pop due to the OP not getting the answers they like.

I appreciate that some people have flagged OP's worry as a potential MH issue but she kicked off the post by saying she "didn't see the point" of going out at that time.

That's about her opinion, not her concern. So, open season for someone who now sounds like shes back pedalling with the "I worry" angle.

Trust me love, you're never coming out of this looking reasonable.

I think you need to look at why you get nervous in such a situation. Should you consider where you go on holiday, perhaps somewhere where you speak some of the local language?

The going to bed if you are tired at 830pm is not unreasonable.

That’s not normal…

I mean this kindly, but it's not normal. By all means take safety precautions when in an unfamiliar city but to instruct a grown adult to stay in their room because you're worried about him going out into the city when it's not even late is letting your fear control you.

It’s not normal for you to think your DH can’t look after his 10 year old. Unless your on holiday in Syria or some where dangerous.

It wasn't even the city, it was another part of the same hotel!

It's not normal and you are being ridiculous. Are you normally this controlling?

OP, I take medication for anxiety and even I can see that this is neither normal or rational!

Very odd and quite controlling.

I have voted "unreasonable" as have 98% of posters. I'm actually quite surprised that your partner has not called you out on it, but because you say "eldest child aged 10" there might be another child that is young and tired and needs their bed, in which case I get why one partner stays in the room (happily) and another ventures out with a ten year old who will be delighted to be out with a caring parent for a time alone, and goes to "the lounge" (which to me, does not sound like they are going out in a strange city - and even if they were, do you not trust your partner with your child ?). That said, anxiety gets people bad, but surely you must have phones? One photo of partner and child having a good time and saying they will be back at (whatever time you BOTH deem acceptable) would calm the nerves. It will make a world of difference to your DC to be out and about. x

It really isn't. Your DH and child are going down to the hotel bar. That's not dangerous at all. You sound like you're unreasonably controlling or overly anxious 😟

No it's not normal. Unless you are holidaying in Syria.