Going to bed at 8:30 on holiday

[Sharingshared]

On holiday with DH & kids.
I have turned in at 8:30 after a great day at the beach. DH was planning on going to the lounge area to seeing what's going on, with eldest DC, aged 10.
Ive asked him to stay in the hotel room because I don't see the point of going out at this time. DH has agreed, although it took some convincing. He said I was being strange. Am I?

Here for the drip feed

This reads like a reverse.

You’re selfish and controlling. Your husband is a grown up and I’m sure will be fine in “a strange city” 🤦🏼‍♀️

I thought maybe this was all made up as quite a strange thing to insist they stay in the room. I see you relented but it's not rational at all to worry - I'm assuming it's not a drug or crime ridden place you've been choosing for your holiday destination??
Each to their own, and of course different if still jet lagged, but settling in in the hotel room at 8.30pm is unusual too. Do you normally go to bed that early??

OP, I understand you have anxiety but be mindful of your 10 year old. My mum was very nervy and anxious. Now I look back remember how she was, my Dad was very laid back but she was stressed and controlling.
Please for your child's sake, get some help, learn some techniques and be self reflective. It's NOT normal.

Here for the drip feed where the OP finally discloses they're holidaying in Port au Prince or Mogadishu, hence the anxiety is justified.

YABU.

I've just come back from a holiday with extended family. I went to bed early every night whilst everyone else, including my DH, stayed up until the small hours enjoying the entertainment on offer and enjoying each other's company. I didn't try to impose my preference for bed with a good book on them and they didn't try to force me to stay up beyond my preferred bedtime.

Maybe you should have a rethink about going on holiday if you get worried about your adult H going out after 8.30 with your child. If you've chosen an unsafe destination, why did you do that?

But you didn't say this to start with.
You said you didn't want your family staying in the hotel LOUNGE while you went to your room.

You are very unreasonable to expect all your family to have an 8.30 curfew just because you're tired.

You are not.

I don't think anyone is judging that at all, I love an early night on holiday. But me wanting an early night wouldn't mean I insist the rest of the family sit in the (presumably dark, quiet) hotel room like OP did

I'm with pretty much everyone else here. Why go somewhere if your worried about going out after 8.30pm?. Surely its much safer if your hubby took dd out in the evening, as a man. What's going to happen to them? Loads of people holiday alone. They'd go for a drink, see the nightlights after dark and take some cool photos at sunset. All part of the holiday. My dd is 10 and unless she wanted too, we wouldn't be staying in our room from 8.30. As a family of 4, we usually get a 2 bed suite or 2 rooms though. So it's easier with people going to bed a different times too.

8.30 is hardly late to be going out but it is ridiculously early to go to bed

You've had a bit of a pile on here OP, obviously you suffer with anxiety, which when you're in the thick of, requests like this do seem rational, they make sense to you, but they're not.

What you've done to your husband and child isn't ok, so I stead of asking your family to alter their behavior to ease your anxiety, you need to take steps to manage your own anxiety. When you get home, make an appointment with your GP and talk it out.

Is this a piss take? LOL

YABVU

Go to bed early if you like, but don't guilt trip others in your family to stay in the room.

Well, by my calculations @Sharingshared has had a solid 12 hours kip, more or less so should be bouncing back refreshed to respond to her many supporters.....

Without context this thread is meaningless.

A day on the beach and in a strange city could be anywhere from Devon to Dubai, or Blackpool to Borneo.

Personally I don't know what a 10 year old would be doing out at night with a parent as most people are in clubs, bars or restaurants - unless it's somewhere scenic and they're exploring the sites like the Acropolis or whatever.

But that's not the point really...is it.

Oh God these poor GPs.
A mum is worried about her family being out in a strange city and is advised to talk to her GP about it.
No wonder they're leaving in droves.

It’s really not! What on earth are you worried about?

No it is not normal or rational I’m afraid

It makes YOU nervous. But not everything is about you. Stop being so bloody controlling. If you were a man people would be telling you this is coercive control. And actually it is.

Very gently we all get worried at times, it is part of life and it can be a useful emotion to keep us safe. However in a situation like this it is something you just deal with and say nothing as it is not rational to ask your DH and DC to stay in because you are worried about them going out.

It may seem rational to you but not to the majority of people. Some will agree with you but that is because in recent years there has been a tendency to label normal every day worries as anxiety.

Yes a day at the beach can be tiring but nothing a cool shower won’t fix. If you were worried why not just join them.

You really aren’t. You have quite a serious anxiety issue and need help.

What do you mean strange city? Kabul?

They were going to the lounge. OP is worried they might leave the hotel. I don’t know if there was any reason why she thought they might leave the hotel. Personally if I was that worried I would have just joined them.

Why would you go on holiday to a destination where nobody is safe after an 8.30 pm curfew?

Unless there is a massive backstory about your husband previously neglecting your child’s welfare/ safety , or a huge alcohol/ drugs problem which wrecks his judgement, you’re being quite controlling.