Going to bed at 8:30 on holiday

[Sharingshared]

On holiday with DH & kids.
I have turned in at 8:30 after a great day at the beach. DH was planning on going to the lounge area to seeing what's going on, with eldest DC, aged 10.
Ive asked him to stay in the hotel room because I don't see the point of going out at this time. DH has agreed, although it took some convincing. He said I was being strange. Am I?

Why did you choose to holiday somewhere you’re scared of?

Are you getting any professional help for this anxiety?

It sounds like she has worried about the dh and the child.

Why have you gone on holiday somewhere you are scared to go out at night? Is it an all inclusive somewhere?

Well, that’s what everyone is asking — why ‘worry’ about an adult and a ten year old who don’t want to tiptoe around a hotel room all evening?

Not at all. We go to bed whenever we fancy it on holiday 🤷‍♀️

I would be enjoying the peace and quiet.

We went to Edinburgh last year, we had got the first train there, went to the zoo and walked miles around Primark 😂
Went out for dinner, and on the walk back to the hotel at probably 9pm, DW said that she and DD would like to go and do some nighttime photography of the castle. Would I like to come? No Hun, I just want to lie down.
We went back to the room, they got warmer clothes on. I got ready for bed, they went out.
I watched utter rubbish on the TV.
They came back nearly 2 hours later with snacks. Everyone was a winner.

But why would it matter if he did?

Very unhealthy controlling behaviour on your part. Nothing wrong with going to bed at 8.30 but absolutely no need to force your husband and child to stay in the room (what were they supposed to do? Be quiet and watch you sleep?).

YABU. If you’re in the Med, most people don’t head out to dinner til at least 9pm. People socialise more in the evening.

Why stay in an hotel if you go to bed at 8.30pm? Wouldn’t an apartment or house be better, so your family have a bit of space from each other and somewhere to hang out while you’re in bed?

If your DH can’t explore a city with his 10yo DD without coming to harm, there must be something wrong with him. He could surely take her away entirely on his own. I know it’s not easy when you have anxiety, but try to relax and let them have some time together.

Why take a 10 year old on holiday somewhere where it’s too dangerous for a grown man to leave the hotel room after 8:30pm?

Well there are obviously issues with them husband

You are being very unreasonable. Everyone may suffer slight anxiety, but when it affects others you should start to take a step back and find the root cause. A holiday in a new place is there to explore. Isn’t that the fun of it all? You were willing to demand they stay with you and let them miss out on quality one on one time. Giving them a curfew is a bit much too. Anxiety should not equate to control. Let them enjoy their holiday.

What makes the city strange? The fact oyu have not visited before? All all places oyu have not visited before strange?

A bit controlling on your behalf telling your husband to sit around in the room watching you sleep just because you were tired. What a fun holiday.

I get worried but I don’t stop DP and DS from doing things they would want to! Without fear of getting into trouble, it’s a bit controlling!

I take it it's not actually dangerous and it's just OP's anxiety crippling everyone's holiday.

You sound disturbingly controlling OP

I have young children and we have gone out for dinner later than this on holiday. Each to their own but my kids love going out and exploring in the dark on holiday or enjoying the evening entertainment. We never rushed back for a particular bed time. For us that’s what a holiday is, a break from normal life routines and we all enjoy it. When they were babies/toddlers they got a cuddle when they started to get tired and then slept in the pram while the rest of us explored at night. Sleeping in the pram for an hour or two never ruined the next day.

I think it’s unfair that you expect everyone to go to bed because you want to. At 10 and full of excitement to be on holiday, I’m not surprised your eldest wants to explore with their dad. I would sit back and let them enjoy it and you can enjoy the peace and quiet if you’ve had a long hard day with the younger kids. As others have said, unless you are in a war zone/dangerous city there is absolutely no reason to hold them back from going out. You are definitely the one in the wrong here unfortunately.

But why do they have to be back by 10pm? You're sucking the joy out of their holiday!

"I am being perfectly rational. I get worried, it's normal."

You really aren't.
It's really not.

You gave a fully grown ass adult a 8:30pm bedtime / curfew. Wow.

Why does it matter if it does?

It’s not normal to ban your DH from taking your child out of the hotel at 8:30. If it’s 2am and the city you are in is Kyiv or Honduras then maybe I would understand your point. If it’s just a city that’s unfamiliar to you then YABU.

He can go, you don't have to. Simple. He might be married to you but he's free to enjoy the evening how he wants.

believe me its not normal unless you are holidaying in a war zone.