Going to bed at 8:30 on holiday

[Sharingshared]

On holiday with DH & kids.
I have turned in at 8:30 after a great day at the beach. DH was planning on going to the lounge area to seeing what's going on, with eldest DC, aged 10.
Ive asked him to stay in the hotel room because I don't see the point of going out at this time. DH has agreed, although it took some convincing. He said I was being strange. Am I?

Nothing wrong with you going to bed at 8.30. It's your holiday to enjoy too.

Everything wrong with you making your husband and kids do the same. You're making your issue about being nervous in a strange city become their problem. As parents we're meant to make sure our issues don't impact our kids negatively; not make everyone in the family bend to them.

Sorry, you're not. Adults can go out into a new city on holiday.

100% agree. If you want an early night, that's absolutely fine, but no way should you be dictating what your DH and children do. That sounds very controlling and selfish, and you seem to have forgotten that it's their holiday too.
.

No. Making your husband and daughter sit in your hotel room at 8:30pm because you want to go to bed and you have decided they’re unsafe in a hotel without you is neither rational nor normal.

Well, he might decide never to come back. Which would be totally understandable.

I'm afraid that level of worry is not normal, even in a different part of the world.
Unless in a war zone, you adult DH should be able to risk assess leaving the hotel
Are you in an all-inclusive where you've ben told that if you put a toe-nail out the main gate you will either be shot or whisked off into while-slavery because it theydon't want you spending your money elsewhere "it's too dangerous"

If a man stopped a woman going out, people would say it was abusive.

This is not rational, or normal. It's controlling and suggests massive underlying issues on OP's part.

Your child may well move out to live in a "strange" city at 18 op, may even emigrate to a " foreign strange city" chasing her dreams. Unless you let your irrational fears and anxiety affect her. I really think you should talk to someone re your fears.

Fucking hell. If my husband wanted to be taking my child out to explore a bit and leave me in peace I’d be handing him his shoes.

Genuinely can’t get my head around your worry. That’s not normal.

Eh? You decide to go to bed at 8.30 and then tell your husband and son they can't go downstairs. So what are they meant to do whilst you're in bed, presumably trying to sleep?

Bonkers and strange.

If you don't want to stay up, fine, this is up to you, but that doesn't stop other people from going out, you know?

Nothing rational about what you did I’m afraid.

Exactly. We are usually in 'strange cities' when we go on holiday and that is part of the fun, we explore.

It's all very well you being nervous and worrying about them, however expecting them to stay in the room all evening because you want to retire early is ridiculous.

I hope you are not going to go to bed at 8.30 every evening during this holiday, that wouldn't be much fun for your companions. You must see that.

This happened to my DH with his ex-gf. She wouldn't let him go outside in the evening because they were in a "strange city" (York).

That was the moment he knew it was time to end the relationship.

Are you always trying to control the actions of everyone in your family or is it just when you are on holiday?

We are in a strange city, we,ve never been here before. I was worried DH would end up going out of the hotel.

Why on earth would that be a problem?
Isn't that the point of visiting a new place?

I'm happily one for early to bed but it's definitely unreasonable to insist others do the same.

If I wanted to go to sleep at 8.30pm, I would rather other people weren't in the room! What would they do?

YANBU for going to bed early
YABU for trying to stop the others doing something at a quite reasonable time

Put it this way…if this was an about your DH saying you can’t go out there would be an avalanche of replies about how selfish and controlling he is.

This has to be the weirdest OP I've read in a while.

Trying to force a grown adult and a ten year old to go to bed at 8:30 on holiday because you want to go to bed and you think if they pop down to the hotel bar they'll end up wandering outside and getting mugged/run over?

All of this is utterly bizarre.

My children are 1 and 3 and I struggle to get them to bed by 8:30 on holiday. We don't stay in hotels at the moment because we don't want to go to bed at 8:30 or sit in the dark staring at our phones after they've gone to sleep.

The idea of choosing that sort of evening when it's just two adults and a ten year old, and trying to force the other adult and the ten year old to go along with it, is unfathomable to me. Weird and controlling.

And I wonder what time you wake up if you are going to bed at 8:30.

My sympathies are entirely with the DH on this occasion (not often I can say that on MN).

You are wrong to prevent your DH from doing something so reasonable on holiday. So what if he ventured out of the hotel? You need to manage your worries, not restrict your DH's or childrens lives because you can't or won't help yourself.

You think he would take your child out of a hotel? That’s a trust with your partner problem.

Bizarre, why is this even a question? Surely you go to bed if you want to, whilst your husband and child go to the lounge if that’s what they want to do.

Pyongyang?