Going to bed at 8:30 on holiday

[Sharingshared]

On holiday with DH & kids.
I have turned in at 8:30 after a great day at the beach. DH was planning on going to the lounge area to seeing what's going on, with eldest DC, aged 10.
Ive asked him to stay in the hotel room because I don't see the point of going out at this time. DH has agreed, although it took some convincing. He said I was being strange. Am I?

holiday cramped in a hotel room? why?
if you want to sleep, surely better they go out & leave you to it?
weirdly controlling of you.

I'm sorry, but you are being ridiculous. The whole point of going on holiday is to explore your surroundings. It's fine if you want to go to bed at a silly hour, but you can't ruin the rest of your family's trip with your wild imaginings. It really is strange to be so fearful just because you are in a city away from home.

Late night Gelato is wonderful. The OP needs to unclench. Or stay at home.

No it’s not.

It’s your DH and DCs holiday too. Why should they have to sit in your hotel room because you want to go to bed and not be on your own?

It will turn out that the OP, should they come back, which I doubt, is in Skegness or Newquay.

Why are you the boss of everyone?

You can't stop your family going out and having new experiences because you suffer from anxiety. That's not fair. If you had a rational fear, then yes, discuss it and risk assess. But it's not fair to limit them like this.

You are both perfectly reasonable. Just not the same.

I'm thinking of 'grannies heilan hame' in the wilds of Skibo...

Well no, she's reasonable in wanting to go to bed, not in trapping everyone in the room.

Very unreasonable, you’re on holiday for goodness sake! Bed at 8.30? Your poor husband and child. I don’t know where you are but it surely isn’t that terrifying at night! I love evening/night time abroad, going in all
the cute little shops, ice cream on the harbour etc. If you want to be miserable and do this every night then go for it, but please for the love of god, let your husband and kid have some evening fun.

If it's such a dangerous place why go? You are ruing their holiday.

Who made you Queen Bee??

an adult going to bed at 8.30 is not normal, particularly on holiday
worrying about your husband, a fully grown man, leaving the hotel in the evening, is not normal.
seriously, how can you think it is rational? unless you are going to dripfeed that the city is downtown detroit or Johannesburg, what do you think is going to happen?
you do realise that every evening millions of people are still out in the evening at 8.30, or even 10pm, right?

You are on holiday at a hotel in a strange city were you would have to worry if a grown man and child goes out after 8.30pm!? Sounds awful to be honest

wtf stop being such a dementor and weird. Let them go!!

you went on holiday to a 'strange city' but they cant go to the lobby?

youre controlling

As you can see from all the replies this really is not normal and very unreasonable of you. This is the time we would be going out for the evening.

If you have a very young baby and are up in the night a lot fair enough you might sometimes on holiday want an early night, but surely it’s perfectly normal and ok for your DH and oldest to entertain themselves away from your room.

8.30pm on holiday really isn’t the time to be going to bed.

But you haven't gone to bed you are on mumsnet 🤦‍♀️

If you were so worried about being in a strange city and either don't want your husband taking your child out, or you are too scared to be on your own in a hotel, you must because it is unsafe, why would you even consider holidaying with your children there? I don't actually believe that's the case, I just think you are being irrational and completely unreasonable as do 98% of the votes.

It's not at all normal, or rational, to be so worried about an adult going down to a hotel bar / lobby.

Release the chains, your poor DH 😲

I’m intrigued to know which city is causing so much paranoia. I would be so annoyed with this level of worry ruining the holiday vibe. I would stay out as long as we see fit and not agree to a curfew. I really hope your children do not grow up with your irrational fear of having adventures in new (or in your opinion strange) places

Oh dear - this is bad on so many levels. Bed at 8.30 when on holiday? Controlling what your family want to do? Being so self-centred?

Bonkers. It’s a safe enough place to go on holiday but your husband and son can’t go out after 8.30? Fine, you are tired, go to bed but surely your husband and son can go out?

I know my fear of heights isn't rational, but it's there. So when I was in Budapest with my sister earlier this year, I didn't do the crazy ladder dome thing at the top of a basilica that we went to. But did I stop my sister? No. Even she came out looking a bit peaky though and said I'd made the right decision for me! But her choice. You can't control people like that. She didn't force me to go, I didn't stop her. Because we're normal (ish...).

Are you doing an AI in Tehran? Was there last Easter with TUI.

Exactly. We all have irrational fears, but don’t try to make other people keep away from keep from buttons or high places or having injections.