to honestley wonder, why have children if you WANT to work fulltime and are not prepared to make ANY sacrifices?

[milkgoddessmakesthefinestmilk]

i don't mean parents that HAVE to work to provide.

i mean the ones that choose to for no other reason, other than they enjoy their job so much.
if you enjoy your job so much, thats great.
but what i really do not understand is why have children?
no one makes any of these parents have children, you can go though life without having children.

this is 100% genuine question, i just do not get it.

All working mothers are cold, ruthless bitches in 80s-style shoulder-padded suits who leave their children from dawn to dusk in the care of some unqualified 17 yr old from Bolivia while they have boozy lunches and bark into their mobile phones a lot. Obviously. The bitches.

And all SAHMS are lazy, workshy thickos poncing off their husbands / the tax payer because they can't be arsed to get up before Jeeremy Kyle starts and 'Get a jooooobbbb'. Obviously. Scrounging scumbags.

posie, what evidence? did it control for social class and income? cos I'd imagine that would be a confounding factor?

I've never seen a 6 weeker at nursery.
Also, I know many children who have been in childcare since they were little because their parents had to work full time or dare to enjoy doing so. And they are - you know - normal. At times cheerful, at times stroppy, at times bored, at times enthusiastic, etc etc etc. I can't tell a child of full time working parents from another whose parents spent more time with. I have only met a very screwed up 10 yr old and she was the product of an extremely bitter divorce.

Did OP say that Monkeybird? I missed that if she did.

LOL Mrs Mattie

Message withdrawn

no, not exactly Dances, but the question 'why have children...' and then lots of comments about tiny little ones is implying a whole host of stuff.

Hercules - I think the OP was talking about parents who weren't doing it to pay the mortgage. More because they wanted to rather than they had to.

It's not a question. It's the OP making a statement about not understanding something.

How dare a woman do something because she wants to!

feminism should be about celebrating the fact we can have children, not brow-beating women who stay at home, for doing so.

am i the only one to think that motherhood is a positive experience?

i work hard at cleaning up after children/changing nappies/breastfeeding and working, and to be honest - i love it.

Youngest child nurseries will take his 3 months. For some it's from 6 months.

Dd went to a childminder at 3mo. But actually, if I hadn't found her, she would have gone into a nursery because there was no other form of childcare available at the time.

And no, I'm not in the nanny bracket, I don't work in the City and I don't wear shoulder pads. But the pain of being judged and looked down on by others at that time has come back from reading this thread.

Alittleone - I agree with what you say, I work part time but it's a balance for me.
Unfortunately I know a woman who was a dump at 6m and collect at 8pm so she could pursue her career and she is the most selfish, materialistic, uncaring cow I'd care to meet. It clouds my judgement on this topic. She really is the epitome of the person you described in your first sentence

I guess I do ponce of my husband! But he's happy for me to work p/t cause it means I'm less tired and therefore he gets more blowjobs! We all make the choices (if we're lucky enough to have choices) that best suit our circumstances.

OK, I have to abandon this thread now - can't be bothered to start justifying my way of life and the way I parent in the face of people who feel able to be smug and judgey while making comments that i could easliy be smug and judgey about too if i was going to start bashing other women.

OH YES they do MP

lol Blu at mn being the prob

and lol MrsMattie

Primula - c'mon, come outside with me and have a cup of coffee!

Message withdrawn

Has this thread been started because of this thread?

blu dont let the bastards get you down

I may be missing something but I don't get the "why have children" argument.

I can understand (even if I don't agree with) a "do you feel you can do a good job of parenting and work full time" argument.

But the "why have children" argument implies that the reason a SAHM has children is so that she can stay home with them and have the benefit of that experience.

which doesn't sound altogether selfless.

and it sounds a lot like a "what's in it for you if you have to work full time" argument.

so if you enjoy your job so much,\why have children is just an innocent, rhetorical question ,the OP musing on her own views and having a really hard think about things?

Come on...

it's a judgey judgey judge judge that I wouldn't dream of in the other direction...

No, I agree casbie, motherhood is a wonderful experience. But there are a 10000000 ways to experience it.

I know this is a contentious thread and there are many different situations but I agree that it is very sad and if unnecessary, selfish for small 6 week old babies to be in nursery for long hours. If you dont NEED to work for financial reasons then personally I cant understand why you would not choose to be with a small being that needs and wants you above all others.