to honestley wonder, why have children if you WANT to work fulltime and are not prepared to make ANY sacrifices?

[milkgoddessmakesthefinestmilk]

i don't mean parents that HAVE to work to provide.

i mean the ones that choose to for no other reason, other than they enjoy their job so much.
if you enjoy your job so much, thats great.
but what i really do not understand is why have children?
no one makes any of these parents have children, you can go though life without having children.

this is 100% genuine question, i just do not get it.

just a thought here- i heard research recently that speech is mainly influenced by the mum, and also reflects how well educated the mum is.

I live in devon and so our nursery teachers have a devon accent. I myself am from lancashire and have quite strong northern accent. My ds1 (3.5 yrs) says things in a northern accent even though has been at nursery (4 days per week) since 4.5 months old!

Every now and then he comes out with a west country expression, but mostly he's a northerner- shortening his vowels in words like bath and grass.

My point is- even though I have worked nearly full time since he was 4.5 mths old I still have a massive influence on his life. His dad his australian but with a posh english accent after being in the south for nearly 30 yrs. Max doesn't talk like him and he only works one day more than me a week!

All this somehow negates the slight guilt I feel when he comes home from nursery talking about his key worker with a misty look in his eye!

sorry diablo that wasn't aimed at you!!!! it just took a long time to type and got posted slightly after yours!

Milkgoddess ignore all the bitching. They are right that you have stirred up something, but why would everyone start bitching on about this if it wasn't an issue for them?

Personally, I agree with you. IME as a mum and a teacher I have seen too many parents throwing it back in their kids faces "I have to work to pay for x, y, z (usually holidays, playstations, new trainers etc...). There is a very fine line between working to support your family and provide for a better life for them ... and working too much so that although your family is well provided for, they never get to spend any time together.
Personally I would much rather go without the fancy extra bits and have the time together. I think some people get too caught up with keeping up with the jones' and forget what's really important!

go and polish your we-have-given-up-so-much crowns and recite your stereotypical mantras. the rest of us will deal with RL contingencies and mortgages and chasing the avaricious consumerist dawg neighbours lol

I haven't given up anything actually, just realised that there was more to life than fast cars, expensive holidays and designer clothes which is what many (not all) people are interested in. If that's your thing then fine but it ain't mine and that's fine too

mind yer beak stop pontificating about others.you do what you want, allow others to do so

christ, why's that upset you so much?
I only said what is my opinion which i'm entitled to as much as the next person

the sanctimonious-quasi-virtuous-pseudo-intellectual-oh-it's -only money-but-i-can-forgo-it-post the assumption the rest of us are shallow avaricious Oh the keep up with the neighbour types

I never said that shit at all. There is a fine line between living to work and working to live and it's tough to balance that out. If you are happy with yours then what's the problem. I'm happy with mine and your happy with yours...end of story...
So why all the bitchiness?

you applaud a divisive and unsubstantiated op by saying ignore all the bitching.oh well thought out intellectual discourse or a knee jerk reaction

oh i personally favour liberalism whether it is not so quick to stereotypes or assume a generalised values system.

working parents are complex autonomous beings subject to even more complex socio-economic- demands.not just a homogeneous mass of keep up with neighbours parents

as a teacher one hoped you would understand?

WTF is that all about. Are you trying to baffle me with all that wordy shit? Why not just say what you mean...
Once again I did say I was talking about in my experience, not everybody's.
And the ignore all the bitching comment is more general, seems like the general rule on here at the moment is write a comment off the top of your head and within a few hours a whole crowd of people will respond telling you that you are stupid etc.... I'm not applauding just sympathising with her, not nice to be no the recieving end of all this, then you get labelled as stupid etc.. buy I dare say she'll get over it.....
Everyone is entitled to thier opinions.
Clearly struck a chord with you anyway? Do you harbour some guilt for your situation then?

no chord -you are just generalising a lot of lazy unhelpful stereotypes.now go look for our dictionary.

Let's hear your pearls of wisdom then...

we are not as one so go look for your dictionary.

Christ clearly I'm not to be taken seriously because I spelt receiving wrong.....
yawn, yawn, yawn

dos that mean when we become mothers we can no longer contribute to society in a meaningful way cos we have kids?? Marie cure? Margaret thatcher/

according to you "working parents pursue
fancy extra bits..and forget what's really important!adieu as i consider my avaricious life. according to you

nighty night

PS "wordy" "shit" what do you teach? please do elucidate ..i am dying to know

life, for some people is not all about being a parent.i'm a full time mum and coudl not coinsider for a minute being at home with the kids..but i'mnot a bad mother.

what do you do hedonia?

Ah, I get it, so if I were a ft sahm, I could make sure my child said "thank you" instead of "ta"? Oh, yes, well, that would make it ALL worth it, of course! Silly me!

The OP question sounds right out of the daily mail, bad, bad women!

Who are these mythical women who work but don't have to financially? I'm wondering whether they're living from hubby handouts or personal money? That's not something I would want to teach my child, isn't financial independence the best lesson, especially in these trouble times?

Working is not just about money, it's also about self esteem and reaching out to the world around you.

Xenia, unless you are running your own company and are rather useless at delegating I cannot think of any job that couldn't be without you for more than two weeks. Please stop using the same tired sexist argument as anyone sitting in the SAHM camp would agree that a SAHP is a good as any, but better than hired help.

It is widely recognised by the reception and year 1 teachers at my children's school that the children that are in afterschool club every night don't do as well as the ones that go home. This still is not enough of a reason for some to give up their full time work and in the grand scheme of things why shold they? If they did their kids may not have the life enriching holiday every year or be driven in a safe car. It's all about choices, you make them and you live with them... nothing's perfect.

Xenia, just out of curiosity how long are your holidays and did you take the nanny?