To feel guilty my children have nothing

[Iwishihad]

First time I have posted long time lurker.I’m feeling sorry for myself and especially my dc I have four ds’s aged under 16,I came out of a very abusive relationship last year and have survived on universal credit since as I cannot work due to suffering from ptsd 😣the summer holidays have been a nightmare finding the money to make afternoon lunch has been hard forgot about anything else!!!they haven’t done anything no days out they are at the age where the park picnics and treasure hunts are a thing of the past,they have sat in day after day in there rooms with nothing to do,they are dreading school as I have not got them coats or shoes,I only got the uniform because I spoke to the school social worker who provided me with four vouchers for the blazer trouser and shirt set,I feel such a failiure and feel so sorry for my ds they deserve so much better I see all my friends coming of holidays and there children have been on so many days out I know how bad it sounds but I feel jealous that I can’t take my children out ,they don’t even have any nice clothes or trainers even if I was to take them out I can just about provide the the basics aibu to feel like this ??

OP contact The Clothing Bank for help with clothing. They send out a 7 day parcel of clothing for the family. They may be able to help with coats, etc too.

theclothingbank.org.uk/Menu/support

You are doing amazing firstly!
You have gotten your children out of a toxic situation, that is not an easy feat. At all.
Are you sure you are claiming everything? Maybe voluntary organisations could help also?
Your kiss probably enjoyed having lots of down time. All these holidays on Instagram etc yes sometimes they are lovely but others there are lots or arguing, illness when away etc or the parents are stressed out as they are paying for it all on credit cards. OR it's families just like yours who have gone through tough times and now are enjoying better days. Your time will come. In the meantime give yourself the credit you deserve x

There is some super advice on here and I can’t add to it but I did want to say that you sound like you are trying your very best and I hope that brighter times are around the corner for you.

Op for kids clothes you could contact this organisation - they will also probably know who can help with teens. They are W Midlands, but if they aren’t quite the right area for you, they will know the charity that is

https://www.kidsclothesproject.co.uk/

this is a community larder that covers W Midlands

https://www.yourlocalpantry.co.uk/

when you are ready to start thinking about work, you could ask your GP or the school social worker to refer you here for an outfit and styling advice and also an hours interview coaching

https://birmingham.smartworks.org.uk/

This is a really good women’s centre in Birmingham, if you are interested in some confidence building courses, they could probably put you in touch with a similar organisation near you

https://anawim.co.uk/

For Christmas the Salvation Army provides toys for 2 to 17 year olds, I’d guess your school social worker can refer you. There W Midlands head office is below, so if you ring them you could ask how to be referred

https://www.salvationarmy.org.uk/wmd

for help with a family holiday next year, contact this organisation, and they’ll tell you how to apply

https://familyholidaycharity.org.uk/

I have sent a email Thankyou very much

Thankyou so much I appreciate it 🙂

Well done for removing yourself and your DC from DA
That takes courage and determination
Your DC have all they need in you, and they will thrive knowing life is safe and calm now.
Please ask at your GP surgery to speak to the social prescriber
They know and can refer you if needed to anything which would help your family
Don't be afraid to ask for help
You can post on local area FB page asking for coats, shoes etc and anything else you need.
There are a lot of kind people out there

Post anonymously that is

OP I echo everything that has been said, well done you.

Please don't hesitate to reach put to charities for clothes and furniture. Our local charities are so overwhelmed with quality clothes they can't accept anymore. Your local churches might also be more than willing to assist.

With my dd I spent August doing everything that is free locally. Museums are plentiful and suitable for all ages. Lakes and beaches and forests and various days of trying things out run by charities, councils etc
It's harder when they are teenagers but there are options.

You've been an amazing mother, you removed them from danger and they are safe. That is the number one priority, being safe. Well done you. You will heal eventually, please be kind to yourself. I'd get them cheap anoraks in case it rains. Save up now for coats for October. You could ask on face book, your local area page. Explain that you're struggling and would appreciate second hand coats for your children. We have it sometimes, and people around here are very quick to donate. People have so much stuff their kids have outgrown, they want to give things to people who need them.

If you google "gingerbread single parents grants" it should take you to a page where you can put some details in and it will give you a list of grants you may be entitled to, there may be ones you wouldn't know to look for because someone in the family was in a certain profession etc. Worth a look through in case you can utilise some of the grants available.