Mums of sons. (Hard hat on for this)

[Daniagainagainagainagain]

Apologies for the grabby title. I've NC'd for this as I have a few running threads currently with very outing and personal details on.

Anyway back to the point.
I see SO many threads on here where the topic about the thread is about a guy. It's not even necessarily bad about the bloke in question, but so many many posters just seem to hate men. Not give them the benefit of the doubt. Tear them a new arsehole for merely posting on MN asking for advice. There was a thread recently about a woman seeing a really nice guy, a gentlemen as she described him where he had been separated for literally YEARS but wasn't divorced. Turns out there were cultural differences meaning divorce in that country is very rare. People kept saying 'throw him back in the sea' 'he's a liar' one poster called him a wanker.. there was no evidence that he was a wanker and the OP seemed happy with the guy. Just more people clutching for their moment to berate men. It's always the guys fault on here no matter what.

It's always the same posters more often than not berating men, shooting them down, and just hating them. I wonder, do these women posters have sons? If so, do you think your sons are exempt from such awful insults because 'my boy would never'? I can't imagine these posters talking about their sons like that. So do you pick and choose, is it one rule for your sons and one for all other men?

Before it labelled being 'cool' I have just got out of a 10 year abusive relationship where ex cheated multiple times to the point of police involvement. I am not naive to think some of these guys deserve what they get.

AIBU? To think there's huge double standards? To call strangers with no reason to, wankers, but to also think the son shines out of your son's arses?

I know I'll probably ruffle some feathers but I'd genuinely like to know. And yes I have DC.

You think I'm trolling about my cancer diagnosis? And my child's sickness?

How fucking dare you. I sincerely hope you're not diagnosed with peritoneal mesothelioma at 23 years old.

Again, you're nothing but a fucking bully. Now leave me alone.

Why go through the effort of multiple name changes if you're going to bring irrelevant personal stuff up anyway?

@Fluufer because I've now been accused of lying about having fucking cancer Fluufer.

I shouldn't have to fucking prove myself that I was diagnosed with a terminal fucking illness in my early 20s on a thread about fucking men and women.

Please leave me alone.

Seeing as a few of you are bullies, and are accusing me of lying about cancer, DA and my poorly child. All because I accidently forgot to switch my name back on a thread.

I was diagnosed with asbestos cancer at 23.
I have had years of treatments, horrific surgeries, and my heart started to fail in 2022.

During that time I have spent over 450 days in hospital non consecutively. During that time my lovely husband had an affair with a friend. Due to his violence the police got involved and through their help and with IDVA involved, I managed to walk away.
In the last year my daughter has been going through some awfully tough times with her own health.
I am dealing with everything on my own as a single mother.

I shouldn't have to say any of this, but some of you on here are that low and horrible. All because I accidently posted under a different username. Despite me showing screenshots that it's from the same account.

Horrible horrible people.

@DickEmery @Fluufer

Happy now? Got all the information you're needing? Good. Now leave me the fuck alone.

You accusing someone of doing that, when that is their life that they're dealing with now, is even sicker.

I don't think ranting back is helping OP.

Sure, but you try and deal with cancer, DV and a poorly child. Then be accused of LYING about it. Just because you accidently forgot to change your name back for a thread.

What do you expect me to do? Sit back and say 'yeah all fine!'

No, I'm not going to do that. The threads done to shit now because of it. I'm going to defend myself.

@DickEmery who's the one now with posts deleted hun x

We don't need to go so low.

We need to create a place for both sexes to feel valued and respected.

@Gummybear23 I totally agree!

So sorry to hear this.
Hope and pray 🙏 your circumstances change.
Hope your daughter gets through her health issues.
i hope the sun shines brightly on you both with your future being brighter And healthier.💐

@Gummybear23 thank you. I shouldn't have to justify it on this thread as this thread isn't about it at all.
Some people are really vile.

Thank you for your kind words :) x

To be clear, not once have I accused you lying. But you are name changing and deflecting to manipulate the thread as it's not going your way. I'm sorry to hear of all you've been through, but none of it is relevant to you OP, it didn't need to be brought up at all.

Even if you did that, it would default back to the original username that you used on this particular thread. The midway change will not have happened ‘accidentally’.

💯 agree.
Why people have to be so vile.
The time in this world passes so quickly.
Within a blink of an eye the years will pass and all our times will be over.
What do we gain from being horrible and vindictive?

If we try to be nicer and always try to be considerate and kind we will all win.

duplicate comment, sorry

I have been accused of lying.
You have accused me of posting from different accounts.
I'm going to rightly defend myself when none of those things are true.

I've received an email from MN and they're looking into it. Hopefully they'll be along shortly to confirm that the username error WAS me on this account, so all you lot breathing down my neck can leave me alone.

Wouldn't waste my energy.

@RareBears how many fucking times.

I changed my username as I do after each thread I write. I thought that I wasn't going to come back this this thread and in hindsight I shouldn't have as it's full of bullies.
I changed my UN.

I ended up coming back to the thread (it was in the middle / towards the end of the thread) where I came back. I forgot to change the UN back to what I was using when I created the thread. I then explained WHY I change names regularly. Due to some very personal threads running. I have since been accused of lying about cancer, DV and my sick child. All because I made an error with a username.

It's not that hard to grasp. Stop trying to catch me out. Hopefully MN again will be along to confirm what I have done.

Jesus Christ how many times. Now will you just drop it? PLEASE.

You have been through tough times. Physically and emotionally. I am really sorry. Way too young to suffer that. Not much older than my own kids are now so I do feel sad for you.

But you have been pretty ‘vile’ in a different way to people here. And using nasty language. Do you own that?

@Gummybear23 I won't now moving forwards. I can't believe how low some people go honestly. Thank you for your kind words though, they really mean a lot. ❤️

@RareBears I have owned it. I said it in this post. But accusations about such personal, difficult things I'm going through is much further than I ever went. Just bullying behaviour. I'm going around in circles now and people are just on the wind up now trying to make me feel worse as I'm constantly repeating myself over things I've already explained / covered.

I've got no idea how other people think about their children, sons specifically, but I can hand on heart tell you that anything I post here that might seem acidic towards men I would still say to both my husband and my all-male children.

I do think there is sometimes a double standard - I was recently berated by someone when I posted an obvious ironic comment that the "hive-mind" has a very different response to identical posts when the sexes are switched. Apparently what I posted made no sense whatsoever, which it wouldn't if you're being completely disingenuous.

Having said that, I don't actually care that much. Men are rarely challenged on their behaviour or language surrounding the women in their lives, so if they come to MUMSnet expecting a squishy hug then they're going to be disappointed. They can go to Dadsnet or Andrew Tate's site or wherever they go to be coddled if they don't like it here.