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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wish that everybody could see the total number of ‘Thanks’

177 replies

Starlingexpress · 26/08/2024 11:39

On thread comments rather than just the author of the comment?

I’m not sure why this is not viewable to everybody but reckon it could be really useful.

Never in the history of AIBU have I seen an OP or a particularly rude or argumentative poster EVER admit they are BU but I sometimes wish a comment which gets loads of thanks might just sow a seed 😆

OP posts:
Starlingexpress · 26/08/2024 11:45

😂 Loving all my thanks.

But nobody can see them 😥

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 26/08/2024 11:51

Because it would gameify MN. MN is far better for not having public likes and follows and posters having 'status'.

CaptainCabinetsTrappedInCabinets · 26/08/2024 11:52

Because it could potential bias the conversation.

PetrichorSoul · 26/08/2024 11:52

YABU it’s not a popularity contest.

Giraffesareawesome · 26/08/2024 11:54

I think MN have deliberately hidden it to avoid people posting in order to get thanks. And also to avoid people comparing the number of likes they get.
I do know what you mean though & sometimes wish we could see as it would be interesting!

ntmdino · 26/08/2024 11:54

Starlingexpress · 26/08/2024 11:45

😂 Loving all my thanks.

But nobody can see them 😥

As someone who runs a reasonably-sized forum (but nowhere near as big as this), I can almost guarantee that they don't do it because it's effectively gamification - the goal, for a lot of people, moves away from being "I want to participate in this discussion" to "I want to say something that gets me the most points, so I can win the game".

It's how Facebook et al turned social interactions into an addictive system, and it's pretty easy to see why this forum - of all places - might think it's antithetical to the kind of spirit they're trying to foster here.

By keeping the "score" private, there is no game.

EDIT: Irony - getting thanks on this comment :D

MissEsmeWatson · 26/08/2024 11:55

Someone was quite nasty to me recently for no good reason about a reply I had put on a thread. It would have upset me, but I knew I'd had about 12 "thanks" already for the same comment. I don't mind that others couldn't see, it made me feel better!

StarryDance · 26/08/2024 11:55

noblegiraffe · 26/08/2024 11:51

Because it would gameify MN. MN is far better for not having public likes and follows and posters having 'status'.

I don't think that would happen. Very few posters keep the same username now. .I NC all the time and still get quite a few thanks. In fact I just got 40 on one post. Get me 😂

MyKidsAreTooNoisy · 26/08/2024 11:56

You are new to this, right? We don’t post for public glorification. The more subtle Thanks function is quite a good compromise I think. And lots of OPs do acknowledge they are BU. But you are right in that it is far for common for them persist with their denial, never respond, or flounce off with unnecessary self-important drama

Sethera · 26/08/2024 11:56

I think it's more authentic if unseen. You won't get people mindlessly clicking a post because it already has 20 thanks or conversely not bothering to thank a post they like because it already has plenty of thanks.

W0tnow · 26/08/2024 11:56

My record is 7 😆

MissEsmeWatson · 26/08/2024 11:56

Oh another thing, it stops pages full of replies of "I agree".

TwinklyAmberOrca · 26/08/2024 11:57

I do like it when lots of people side with the OP, I write a somewhat controversial but alternative view point, I get slagged off and quoted for what I said, yet so many people also thank my post which implies lots agree with me but not brave enough to say it!

I suppose the public bit is the YABU/YANBU vote but I think public thanks would be useful.

WickieRoy · 26/08/2024 11:58

I got just over 100 once with a smart comment early on on a long thread. <preens>

I'd like to see the numbers, I think it would give a feel for how people feel if they aren't brave enough or bothered enough to post.

Sethera · 26/08/2024 11:59

MissEsmeWatson · 26/08/2024 11:56

Oh another thing, it stops pages full of replies of "I agree".

I agree.

😉

TheClawDecides · 26/08/2024 11:59

Because for some reason, a lot of Mumsnetters get an attack of the vapours whenever a 'like' button is mentioned. The mere suggestion sent some people into full on hissy fit mode 🤣

So this was MNHQ's 'middle ground' to introduce an invisible thanks button.

I'd still prefer a public like button but the jury's still out for a lot of MNetters.

WickieRoy · 26/08/2024 11:59

Sethera · 26/08/2024 11:59

I agree.

😉

I also agree. Wink

Gilbertwasawuss · 26/08/2024 11:59

Because Mumsnet is one of the only forums where we are judged on the basis of the content of our comments rather than it turning into a popularity contest due to "likes".

Having to use our brains to agree/disagree is what makes this place unique (for better or for worse.)

There would also be far fewer comments on threads

TheClawDecides · 26/08/2024 12:01

CaptainCabinetsTrappedInCabinets · 26/08/2024 11:52

Because it could potential bias the conversation.

No more than voting might?

noblegiraffe · 26/08/2024 12:03

StarryDance · 26/08/2024 11:55

I don't think that would happen. Very few posters keep the same username now. .I NC all the time and still get quite a few thanks. In fact I just got 40 on one post. Get me 😂

And yet you wanted to boast how many thanks you got!

If thanks were public, then posters would change how they thank posts when they observe the behaviour of other posters. It would become more performative.

And posters would definitely start 'thanks' farming, where they post in order to get the public appreciation.

TeaAndStrumpets · 26/08/2024 12:04

MissEsmeWatson · 26/08/2024 11:55

Someone was quite nasty to me recently for no good reason about a reply I had put on a thread. It would have upset me, but I knew I'd had about 12 "thanks" already for the same comment. I don't mind that others couldn't see, it made me feel better!

This is so true.

Sometimes I feel I have nothing useful to add to a conversation, but I use thanks to give support to other posters who have said it better first.

Often just a useful tip deserves thanks.

LlynTegid · 26/08/2024 12:06

I don't think so, it could become a competition as to who gets the most. Then there would be questions as to whether more than a certain number gets a thread into Mumsnet Classics.

Orangecar25 · 26/08/2024 12:13

I agree. I wish people could see how many other people agree with a poster that's made a really good point.

Mrsdyna · 26/08/2024 12:16

It's easily influenced by bots and also some would be like, "see I won the argument because I have more likes" which is silly, but then a lot of posters are silly.

Ottersmith · 26/08/2024 12:17

Ohh. I thought I was the only person using it!