Moral dilemma. What would you do?

[Halftheworldawayy]

On the train back from London I overheard the conversation of the woman sat next to me.

It was her birthday and her and two friends (friend A and E) had gone to Magic Mike. Friend E had got so drunk that she fell asleep in the bar at Magic Mike and had almost got them kicked out. They went out for more drinks after the show and both friends were hammered.

They got on the underground to go home, Friend E jumped off at a random stop to be sick, Friend A jumped off at a next stop to find her. Birthday girl (not hammered) stayed on the tube all the way to the train station.

When birthday girl got to the station neither friend was there so she gets on the train to go home. Friend A keeps ringing her in tears saying she can’t find Friend E and birthday girl tells her to leave her and get the train as Friend E will eventually sober up and get the train herself.

They also both kept trying to call Friend E and it was going to voicemail.

Birthday girl felt no guilt at all about leaving her friends and repeatedly said “they needed to man up” “handle their drink better”. I do agree to a point as these women were easily late 30s/early 40s and I get how frustrating it is as a grown adult to babysit drunk adults. But I’m not sure I would have abandoned both friends.

😂 honestly, I sympathise with the situation as clearly none of them would have left that night feeling good. But I was gripped listening to it the whole way home and it certainly made the journey faster.

Also if you’re going to have a loud conversation in a public place then you do so knowing people are listening.

I was once sat on a small table reading my book and having a coffee at a cafe waiting for my train. A couple that were clearly now exs came and sat next to me (tables so close I could have put my arm around him) and he asked if he could take her friend out on a date. And wow that was one juicy conversation.

You would have loved my mum, OP! She would shush us in restaurants if the conversation at the next table was more interesting
😂😂😂

I couldn’t leave a friend like that even if it was a common occurance. I mean hell I once tucked in a passed out 17 year old girl in my bed who I didn’t even know because I didn’t think it was fair to leave her in a state as she was.

Urgh this. Look, I wouldnt have just abandoned my friend due to safety reasons but honestly, I had a friend that would pull this shit every time we went out and I got fed up of having to babysit her constantly.

We all overdo it sometimes but when you get hammered every single time and your more sober friends have to literally carry you home and hold your hair back whilst you vomit up kebab all over the pavement it gets old very quickly. It's especially rude to expect someone to take full responsibility for you on their bloody birthday.

So no, I wouldnt have left her but equally, I would absolutely stop going out with people who cant handle their drink or always get smashed because its pathetic to have to be your friend's bloody babysitter every time you go out. It's selfish AF.

I wouldn't be able to leave a paralytic girlfriend

But was he BU to ask about dating the friend? 😁

wow you heard all of this? none of your business, yuo don't know the people involved and you don't know the story to be true.

mind your own business

I would have jumped off with my friend to be sick. Been drummed into me for years that you stuck together.

Well maybe she’d just had enough of their shit.

As a one off I would 💯 try and find friend until the last train

if they both had form I’d probably do as train lady did… make my own way home and leave them to it…

If someone willingly gets themselves into such a state they vomit, then I'd leave them. I don't see that's my circus or my monkeys. You can spend ages helping such people and they never learn. My views may be come from the fact that my dad was an alcoholic and you can spend a lot of time, money and effort on those people for nothing.

I like to think I'd have looked for my friend BUT if I was also steaming then my judgement would be massively impaired to the point I might shrug it off. Not because I don't really care but drunk me might not be as bothered as sober me would.

*Friend A keeps ringing her in tears saying she can’t find Friend E and birthday girl tells her to leave her and get the train as Friend E will eventually sober up and get the train herself.

They also both kept trying to call Friend E and it was going to voicemail*

So she spoke to friend A? Which means presumably friend A got overground at some point to make the call/s?

What happened to friend A????

I think you are missing context. If it was a one off and out of character I would definitely have got off with friend e initially. However, I have had a friend who regularly got repeatedly smashed and relied on me to be her babysitter to get her home. Even her fucking siblings would just leave me to it. So one night after the usual routine I just left her to it and never put myself in the position of being her caretaker again.

Considering her nonchalant attitude I would suspect the friends have done this before. But without knowing I don't think you can judge her decision.

yes, i'd have done that too.

Assuming it was early enough that i had mutiple trains leaving my end tube point.

I have as well, got off the tube to be sick (too rich food plus some drink). You are told to get off the tube if feeling unwell, not stay on. So leaping off to be sick makes sense.

Assistants in Tube X can contact Assistants at Tube Y if needed - to check if someone is there/needs help? (there are big "need assistance" phones/microphones on most central platforms in zone 1)

It depends.
Am I rushing home to pay the babysitter? Do I have work in the morning? Is this a pattern for these friends? Have they ruined my bday outing with their drunkenness and me having to be the caretaker?

I’d like to think for a very good friend I’d get off the train with them. Having said that, if I stayed on the train I don’t see it as me abandoning them - we were all on the agreed train home. They chose to leave, and in fact, ultimately abandoned me on the train. If this is their modus operandi then I think I’d try to make contact but ultimately get myself home.

Friend A & E are grown women and should know better.
Birthday girl has already had her night out ruined without traipsing around London looking for her silly friends.

I'm afraid if I was bday girl I would have jumped off with second friend to find the drunk wanderer. Got them both to station, on train home and when they're both sober told them both to fuck off and never speak to me again.

I'd be pissed about them being such a show at my birthday when I'm not drinking but I couldn't have it on my conscience if something happened to them.

Women should stick together in these situations. All should have got off the tube.

I would not continue a friendship with a friend that left me when i was drunk in a different city.

I think having reached the railway station, with no further contact from friends and little idea where they might be by that point, that friend did the right thing in getting the train.

But what I think would have been better is for the two less-drunk friends to have got off their tube at the next stop and gone back to where first friend got off. If she wasn't still on the platform, they should have contacted station staff to see if anyone saw her (and perhaps persuade them to look on CCTV) - she might have boarded the next (correct) train, or got confused and gone the wrong way on same line, got on a different line, or wandered out of the station. She'd only have a few minutes start on the friends, so would hopefully be discoverable.

I don't think you should leave someone that drunk wandering round London.

But if she's not at the station where she got off, and station staff can't help, then the only thing to do is head back home, with fingers firmly crossed that she does make it back. Because she could have gone anywhere and you can't scour London. If she has not reappeared the next morning (in person at home, or by phone) then the question becomes whether you report her as a missing person

even if i hated someone i would not leave a drunk woman alone at night at a station. no way.

i would feel awful if she was kidnapped/raped/ walked onto the tracks etc.

WELL

It was years ago but I remember her talking about the man she was dating and then he said he’d been speaking to the friend and would it be ok for him to ask her out. And suddenly the woman’s relationship was not as serious anymore and she was pretty pissed off and I think he said he wouldn’t ask for the friends number.

Also I didn’t like him as he was about to pick his empty tray on my table until he caught my eye and put it back down on his.

If you're that bothered tbh you shouldn't get drunk and broadcast your business in public 🤷‍♀️

I do get that and I do agree and I’d like to think I’d have followed my friend.

But once you’ve made the choice to not follow them and they don’t turn up at the station, won’t answer their phone then really what are you suppose to do?