To go pick brother up? Released from prison

[Mrsgrapesauce]

Brother has a history of heroin abuse last 10 years unfortunately. He was caught shoplifting 6 months ago and went to jail. He has done so well there managed to gain weight and had a job whilst there and was receiving support.

He has gone back to my mums now where all of his temptations are. Speaking with him he sound so clear headed and wants to change but doesn’t have the support.

I have 2 weeks off work now where I feel I can fully commit and support him. I plan to take him away for a week with mum just so I let him see another side of life. Planning on setting him up with a passport and finding a job to keep him busy.

DH thinks im wasting my time but I really feel I can do it. I lost my other brother due to a drug addiction and I don’t want to lose him.

Definitely try but also take care of yourself

I lost my brother to a drug addiction and if I could go back I would 100% step up and help him. Unfortunately my brother never got to a place where he wanted to change enough so all my attempts of help failed and eventually it was too late. Not a day goes by where I don’t wish things could have been different. He was only 34 and had been on drugs since 13. He didn’t know a life without them.

Good luck, I think it's great what you are doing OP. Enter in with clear boundaries what will be ok what won't etc and hopefully this will be a good thing.

@littlejo67 OP posted in AIBU, asking if she was being unreasonable to go and collect her brother after his release from prison. She said her DH wasn’t happy about it, so she was canvassing opinion on MN. People have posted their opinions. AIBU isn’t “agree fest”, it’s a place where people ask the opinions of others.

You sound a great sister and support to him. I hope this time it works out for him x

It definitely sounds worth a try. I wish you all the luck in the world. He shouldn’t be around your kids though.

Always try

‘I’m glad I did’ is definitely a lot better than ‘I wish I had’ or ‘what if’.

Knowing someone has faith in you can go a long way. Do it

Kind wishes for you and your brother 💜💐

Do it. Imagine if things go badly and you didn’t try. You’ll never regret putting the effort in. Because at the very least you’ve had some quality time with your mum and brother.

Do it! Be prepared that he may slip back when he returns and try not to throw it in his face if he does as you obviously recognise how difficult it is for him to avoid temptation but you’re doing a good thing for good reasons and I really hope it helps!

It might not work, but it certainly wouldn't make anything worse. And I think if you don't, you'll just spend your time thinking about "what if I had..." And might end up regretting not taking the time.
You sound so caring and lovely. Addiction is a horrible illness, hes so lucky to have a supportive sister.

How are you and your brother?

You can offer him support, but keep your expectations low. I lost my brother to a heroin overdose a few years ago and I would do anything to go back and help him but with the best will in the world nothing I could have done would have changed the outcome. Addicts can really only help themselves and will only stay clean if they have the willpower to do it.

If you like your brother and he’s never done anything awful to you then you should be there for him when he gets out of prison!

This

Just to say my brother recovered from heroin addiction after many failed drug rehabs and prison stints. I don’t know why he turned a corner but the rehab he was in at the time were training him to be an electrician and something clicked.
He became very successful and had a good business, employed other people, met a lovely woman, married and had a son. They are in their sixties now and still together.
It’s great that you are supporting your brother but don’t set yourself on fire to keep him warm.

It's great you want to help him. You're right he needs to be away from temptation. Blocking all the dealers and other users.
I hope he can stay clean and get his life sorted. It's not easy but your support will be really helpful. He may relapse, that's the nature of it. But each day he stays away from it will make things easier.

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Why resurrect a Zombie Carlie97 ??????