Am I unreasonable or is MIL

[DJW62]

Long story short because my blood is absolutely boiling!!

so not so long ago my MIL was looking after my DS on my working day as is agreed with us. I go to pick my DS up after work fully expecting to take my child home with me (obviously!) only to be told that I cannot take him home with me (rexcuse me?!) that they (MIL and SIL) had made plans to take him out for super with his cousin and I could come back later to pick him up. I could tell my DS was looking forward to this so I say nothing. However later that evening I send my MIL a polite message saying “nothing wrong, but in future can you please ask or make sure i know of any plans you have with DS because we did actually have a nice evening planned” My MIL went CRAZY in response to this message, “how dare i disrespect her like that, how dare I, she always does her best for the children, she always knew i hated her, im upsetting everyone, making her husband ill” blah blah blah the craziness went on and on and i was made out to be someone awful simply for asking politely to be informed of where my child would be?! So AIBU here for daring to ask such a thing?!

Because maybe the poster is trying to point something out that ive missed in her/his post??

Is there a wider context here? Perhaps you have different norms within the families. For us things like this are always casual. Did you actually have plans? If so I'm.not sure why you wouldn't just say sorry, will have to be another time we are already booked onto x,y,z rather than send a text later. I've been to pick up DC before and they've decided they're having a sleepover at Grandma's, if we have no firm.plans it's fine, great that they have relatives who want to take them.out and do things.

I think yabu based on this alone but I feel like there's a wider context.

Do you always read things that aren't there? I'd be going to the GP if I were you. You sound unwell.

I sometimes think people on the forum exist on a completely different planet. Or else we could use some of you lot to colonise Mars when the time comes.

I think ive posted a few times now that im usually extremely laid back and ALWAYS let things like this slide. But yes ive said a few times we did have plans and this is the one time i did not let it slide. Like ive said i didnt say sorry we have plans because DS had already been hyped up about going with GM, SIL and cousin. Ive been to pick DS up before with no one there! No idea where my son was and no one bothering to tell me, showing up an hour or two later, but i usually keep my mouth shut. Great they have relatives go do things with i know, even greater if i knew about it

Thank you everyone who have replied especially those with useful suggestions for a way forward. My DS will always have a relationship with his family as it is important. However i will be seeking paid child care as MIL reaction to my simple request as a mother is something i cant really get over or understand. I think she has shown what she really does think of me (not much) and I cant really carry on as if everything is fine. Thank you everyone.

Sounds like there were underlying issues waiting to come out tbh. She hasnt just gone batshit over the text.

Think your right.

Sorry just realised you were the person posting, so is there anything you were trying to say? and why “noted” ? Ive also “noted” that there is no need for any of your comments as they are not in the slightest bit helpful.

OP, sounds like you have been hugely overly tolerant of s rude woman. No one would tolerate turning up to collect their child to find them gone with no explanation.
Really rude and disrespectful.
Paid childcare and absolutely no more unsupervised visits.
She sounds unhinged and vile.
I really wouldn't want someone so unstable around my child so stepping back could be wise.

Thank you. Always made me feel so uneasy and I would tell my husband but he wouldnt say anything at the time. They would come back “oh we just popped down to so-and-so” DS unfed so sometimes it would be 7pm in the evening at us starting from there getting home late, dinner to cook , clothes to wash DS in an awful mood 🙈

It’s not how anyone saw it except ☝🏻