To ask why you have just one child?

[WeWillRockEwe]

I am asking for some traffic. No judgement. If you have one child - how come you didn’t have more?

Btw before I have to edit - I can imagine many reasons why people might have one child only but I’m here today to ask people rather than guess/assume ❤️

Only if anyone is willing to answer. Those of you who didn’t have a second because of financial reasons. Did you so careful sums about what another child would cost? Or was it obvious, like because the cost of childcare (before free hours kicks in) is £x per month?
I have always found it hard to put a definitive figure on how much raising a child costs, aside from evidence-able nursery costs.

I can’t really give finer details as the situation was quite nuanced but the decision was taken from me for a multitude of reasons. However the main one, of course, was becoming a lone parent (not through choice I might add, despite what judgmental people seem to believe about single parents) plus I have health issues. Looking back, I definitely couldn't have coped with another.

I didn't want anymore, not everyone wants more than one. Having one is very easy, for going out, childcare, holidays, space in house, cost, need I go on.

We just never had the urge to have a second one. We were quite late to having a child anyway. One felt enough, made us feel as a complete family. I always tell her “there’s nothing “only” about you!”

My son, with my first husband, died at 3 weeks old. My surviving son, with my second husband, was born 12 years later, after fertility treatment.
So, like others who have posted on this thread, I feel blessed to have the child I have.

Horrific pregnancy
Worse labour, my mum told me a long time after that when she came to visit in hospital I loved shell shocked. I genuinely thought towards the end that I was going to die and never met my baby. I lost a lot of blood.

Also we have a good income and could afford a second, but having one gives us more financial freedom to offer ds the opportunities we want to and still maintain a comfortable lifestyle.

DH is a happy only, I have a brother who I have no issue with, but we're not massively close and as my parents get older he is of no help whatsoever, and I saw similar with my mum, and her FIVE siblings when my gran was unwell/died, she was running herself ragged and they were either no help or making things worse squabbling.

secondary infertility and failed ivf. Was intermittently very sad for a long time but I have a wonderful DC and am very lucky to be a mother.

I had a very high risk pregnancy, with conditions likely to occur in subsequent pregnancies. After my son was born, I didn't think it would be fair to him get pregnant again.

Primarily because the second pregnancy didn’t work out (ectopic) and after that we concluded, on reflection, that we were too old (very late 30s and early 40s) to have another go.

Wrong thread?
(If it was meant to be a joke then nursery would've worked better than garden centre)

Because my second and third babies died at birth. Plus a couple of miscarriages. Can't bring myself to try again.

We are incredibly fortunate to have the one we have.

Currently pregnant with our first and only child. We did want two, but I’ve had such a shit pregnancy that I just can’t put my physical and mental health through the wringer a second time, and DP agrees he doesn’t want me to ever suffer like this again.

Infertility led us to adopt our wonderful boy.

We have such a lovely little life. Adopting again would be a huge upheaval for our whole family and we couldn’t put our son through that.

I always wanted 2 or 3 children and it hasn’t been easy for me to accept but, wow, do I feel lucky to be called ‘Mummy’ by my one and only!

Oh it was very necessary. The left ovary was buggered after the cyst grew unnoticed by me to 19lbs so that went in 2012. I then struggled with the right one, three times I had a cyst of over 10cm pop up and had cystectomies for those and the third time they were concerned that it was cancer (it wasn't, I was fine) but it was that mangled from the cysts that it needed removing too.

I was fortunate to be able to get two embryos from it before they removed it in 2019 so yeah have been on HRT since then. Very unfortunate and unfair and was hard work managing being early thirties, breastfeeding and dealing with HRT but she weaned six months ago so can focus on getting my dose working for me right.

Took 7 cycles of IVF to get pregnant

I'd have liked 2 but it didn't seem wise to try for another.

Had my son quite young and split with his dad shortly after. Tried with my (now) husband to conceive for many years but due to complications for both of us, it wasn't meant to be. We could have tried ICSI but for a princely sum with a very low success rate, and I don't think my body would have coped with the drugs (I don't react well to progesterone). After four years we accepted it probably wasn't going to happen for us.

Significant illnesses came on in my case after childbirth. Additional needs for child. Separated from child's father when child was a baby.

This ❤️

I'm finding this thread incredibly moving.

Should have also added that we are quite happy with one. We have a quiet calm household and get to do lots of things that we wouldn't be able to afford with more kids. By the time we'd had her, we were too old to do it again a couple of years later, it's knackering.

Infertility (DD herself was only conceived after much intervention and none of the treatments to conceive a second worked).

I would have loved more children.

Oh yes I forgot the hypermesis, I was literally helpless during most of my pregnancy. Even if I had wanted to have a second I wouldn’t have been able to care for a small toddler solo while that ill. It was horrendous. That was with medication as well, it helpfully stopped me from throwing up so I didn’t end up dehydrated but the constant extreme nausea was unbearable.

I would also say I never really had the urge to have a child, I know a lot of women talk about it but I think I had a twinge in my late 20’s and then got over it fast.

I'm finding this, also. She's my little side-kick.

DS was an unexpected result of v early relationship sex. Before I found out I was expecting, I broke it off on realising new partner had a wife and kids 😂🫣 Told him when I found out, was told to get an abortion. Told him when baby was born, got ‘ok’ as a WhatsApp response. Told him the door would always be open for contact if he wanted it, haven’t heard since!

Other than 0 input from him (not on birth certificate, don’t claim CMS as a pride thing really), pregnancy was rough, parenting in the early years was rough, balancing work with home life was rough! DS is amazing and I’m lucky to have him, but I know even with a great new partner I’d just never want another baby. It’s HARD and I’m not naturally maternal (I find that ‘it just comes when the baby is in your arms’ thing crap!)