To ask why you have just one child?

[WeWillRockEwe]

I am asking for some traffic. No judgement. If you have one child - how come you didn’t have more?

Btw before I have to edit - I can imagine many reasons why people might have one child only but I’m here today to ask people rather than guess/assume ❤️

This is so lovely to read. We have an 18 month old and I think are done but just not 100% sure as I'm worried we'll regret it. I found your post really reassuring

Very, very unwell baby from birth, surgeries etc. Child totally fine now but I was paranoid it may have been something genetic, so I stopped with one.

I wouldn't risk putting another baby through that.

A combination of things. DD had two major surgeries, two less major surgeries, has ASD, ADHD and learning difficulties. She also collects diagnosis like they're Pokémon. I dealt with most of this as a lone parent, and had no desire for another until I met DH.

When I met DH and we became serious, we discussed having another child when DD was 11/12.
When DD was 9, we found out DH has a syndrome that makes him completely infertile. DH and I struggle with the ethics of sperm donation and the 18 years of anonymity, but we also don't know anyone who we could ask to be a known donor.

We don't feel comfortable adopting at the moment. We've discussed it and we don't think it's fair for a child to be adopted due to infertility. We don't want to adopt a child as our last resort because that's not fair on them.

We're both in therapy to come to terms with DHs diagnosis so we're not ruling out adoption forever. But it's safe to say no more children for the foreseeable.

she was enough for us and completed our lives

I had multiple pregnancy losses before having my son. It was a miracle he survived his birth. I just felt so happy and content when he was born I just knew I didn't want any more. I'm one of 3 and thought I'd defo have at least 2.

Took longer than expected to get pregnant
Difficult birth
Long recovery from birth
Am an older parent
Can't afford it
Happy with just one

Because my 3 year old daughter is the biggest miracle in the world and has completed us in ways I will never have the words to describe.
I was too unwell with complex health needs to carry her, so my sister in law carried her as our surrogate ❤️
without my sister in law, I don’t think I would be here today - I couldn’t live without being my daughters mum.
of course I’m sad (perhaps guilt is a better word) that we won’t be able to give her a sibling, but she will always be so showered in love, care and attention I hope it balances.

I adopted (on my own) because I never liked my ex's enough to want their babies.
Although DC is absolutely wonderful and I wouldn't change a hair on their head, I miss being me and not 'just a mum'.
I'm (much) older than most parents with children their age and I have my own personal and career goals which I really want to continue to pursue.
It's just about trying to achieve balance for me, the demands placed on me as a parent verses my own personal desires/aspirations.
I hope I can be a good parent, there's a chance I can be to one, I'm pretty sure I couldn't to two.

Separated from DCs dad in the first year of birth. Not interested in finding anyone else.

Serious illness for the first 4 1/2 years of my DS's life - me, then my dad, then me again, on top of a chronic condition that makes my life very difficult anyway. Got pregnant when he was 5 but had an awful, traumatic miscarriage at 13 weeks and could never face trying again. Age was not on my side by that point.

Secondary infertility and 2 miscarriages that almost killed me

Partly because my first pregnancy was very difficult.
partly because dc was a high needs baby and it nearly broke me.
mostly because we want to be able to provide a certain standard of living for our family and our child and we can’t do that with more children. I know we can manage whatever university is best for one child, but with more there might have to be compromises.

I hated being pregnant (HG throughout), and had absolutely no desire to go through it again.

I love dd but I don't find parenting fun. There are lovely momenrs but a lot of hard moments too. The parenting scene is hard ...all those baby groups! .. Plus I like money and holidays.

So sorry to read this, l hope you are in a better place now

Childbirth was horrific - no way I was going through that again!!

One just seemed like the perfect number.

I had one for 8 years, because we wanted to buy a house, then we bought a house and had another baby, my cut off age for having another was 36 after that I had decided no more kids, fell pregnant 3 months before I turned 37 😂
otherwise it would have just been the one as I didn’t want anymore after that age.

I'm so sorry

IVF for one. Partner struggled when she was very small. Didn’t want me to use the other embryos.

Ah I see. Yes if I were asked straight out about it at work or something I'd feel insulted. There was something different about the way OP asked that made me feel it was a genuine discussion with no loaded judgement. Thanks for highlighting this point though as it is something that bugs me in the "real world".

It's been easy from the beginning, didn't want to make things hard

i was very very poorly having my son, and we decided we didn’t want to risk my health having a second - it felt too risky and I wanted to be there for my son! but this aside, one is enough for us so perhaps we wouldn’t have had another anyway. i do feel some guilt that he doesn’t have a sibling - but on balance this was the right decision for us as a family i believe.

No family support, so everything falls on dh and I.

Finances - we earn enough, but I’m aware even now things are so much more expensive than 10 years ago. In 10 more years I have no doubt things will
cost even more. I don’t want to struggle unnecessarily or have to stop Ds doing things due to cost if unavoidable.

Space. Both house wise and head wise. I like peace and quite and it’s hard enough to get 30 mins peace with one.

Logistics. It’s easier to just take Ds with us as only him to find things he and us like. Can work around 1 child with work and freetime easier. He’s young now, but I imagine teenager needing picking up and dropping off to various things.