Dh went to the toilet whilst Dd was in the paddling pool

[Pleaseenterausernameok]

I didn’t feel well the other day so went upstairs for a lie down when Dh got back from
work. Dd was asking to go in the pool-large blow up one, deep enough for me to sit in and move around, deep enough for Dd to swim. I said I wasn’t feeling well and was going to go for a lie down when daddy was back and she could go in then with him (he sometimes goes in or with him sat outside watching obviously)
I went upstairs, heard her in the pool chatting away to Dh. After a bit I realised I couldn’t hear her (she’s very chatty) but didn’t think much of it, a while later I heard her calling to Dh and him calling back from the downstairs loo.
Dh had gone to the toilet and left her, when he went to the toilet it wasn’t for a quick wee, but number two and for those he can be in there for up to an hour, no joke.
Aibu to think this is completely irresponsible to leave her in the pool unattended?

It’s irrelevant if others are happy for a six year old to be left in a shoulder deep pool, you’re not, so in that case he shouldn’t have left her unattended for that length of time. Tell him not too do it again because your unhappy with it.

She could fall over, it happens.

OP says deep enough for DD to swim in.

It's not a paddling pool. And she shouldn't have been left alone. Pools are more dangerous for children than guns.

At 6 I’d be happy so long as she was in earshot really. I leave my 6 year old alone in the bath while I potter around and do other things

Then we should ban garden pools unless parents have a licence from the police.

I still watch my 6 year old, we have a similar pool and he's had swimming lessons but can't swim properly yet. He liked to put his head under the water with goggles on. I wouldn't be happy either

@Hateam guns are more dangerous generally for all sorts of reasons (suicide, most often). But if you wouldn't have a gun in the house with children, statistically, you certainly shouldn't leave a child alone in a pool.

Bringing guns into this is just silly.

No one needs to sit on the loo for an hour.
He just couldn't be arsed doing what was agreed.
He's a lazy arse and is completely irresponsible.
Yanbu OP.

Have you got a stat for that?!

That’s a bit of a diversion

She couldn’t, the water is up to her shoulders.

It’s obviously wrong to leave her, and he shouldn’t do it again, however the chances of anything happening would be v low

@Hateam and @theduchessofspork it's from Freakonomics.

“If you both own a gun and a swimming pool in your backyard, the swimming pool is about 100 times more likely to kill a child than the gun is.”
― levitt, steven, Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything

What if you have a pet crocodile? Hot topic in Australia at the moment.

Except he wasn't. Apparently he can spend an hour on the loo. Pretty sure he wasn't about to smash his all time poo record whilst his daughter was in the pool.

Tbf the croc could puncture the pool, allowing the water level to drop enough for the DD to slip and bang her head on the bottom.

You're right! Much more dangerous than machine gun.

Well that escalated quickly!
8 pages in and we're on crocs and machine gums. MN is a strange place 😂

Read how long the daughter was left alone for:

' After a bit I realised I couldn’t hear her (she’s very chatty) but didn’t think much of it, a while later I heard her calling to Dh and him calling back from the downstairs loo.'
'As it was I came downstairs to watch her'

this was not a quick dash to the downstairs loo for a wee !

so the question is: how long does it take to drown ?
forget how it has happened, whether she has fallen over or what.

the question is, how long does it take to drown
and how long does it take for someone to have life changing effects even if the child is resuscitated...

from my friend Google,

As with other forms of suffocation, your brain neurons will begin to die within 3 minutes of your losing consciousness and starting to breathe water. (The time to lose consciousness varies by such things as breathing capacity; breath-hold training, if any; and general physical wellbeing.) Normally, after ten minutes if not sooner, too few neurons remain for life

That's the trouble with swimming lessons from such an early age - parents think their children are safe. They are absolutely not. The child has the knowledge, but not the strength, to get out of trouble. In this case, however, given anyone can drown in 2 inches of water, this is woeful neglect. The child slips, bangs, their head, becomes unconscious, drowns. Left alone, there is no-one to give immediate help. Do not think swimming lessons make it less likely your child will drown.

My 6 year old would be fine in a paddling pool

Its not dissimilar to a bath

Can you fall over in shoulder depth water?

If you do, you get back up again

You can get cramp, you can hit your head if you are silly and dive in when you shouldn't, you can breathe in water accidentally and panic.. She's only 6

OP clarified it's not a paddling pool. It's a shoulder deep inflatable pool.