If you have never had a daughter?

[Justbecauseidid]

I was having a conversation with a neighbour earlier who has 5 sons and no daughter. She often expresses how she would have loved a girl. She then went on to say those who only get to experience the one sex will never get the chance to experience full motherhood. As in they would never know what is it to mother a daughter or vice versa.

It got me thinking...

Those of you with boys, would you like a daughter and those with girls would you like son?

I suppose she has a point about having a full rounded experience of motherhood.
It got me thinking.

I have one DS & had frankly always seen myself with DDs. Couldn't believe how quickly my feelings changed the day he was born especially as I am normally a very rational person. Had I had another child I would have wanted another DS. I love my nieces and my friend's daughters.

Your neighbour is talking out of her arse. Does everyone who only has one child not experience parenthood fully, then?

I do have a female cat!

If there’s one thing I have learned from teaching it’s that all children are SO different- you can’t expect a girl to be a certain way or a boy to be a certain way, they are all such individuals.

I have 2 daughters and they couldn’t be more different. I was over the moon with both of them and would have been equally happy with boys.

I think some women’ have an idealistic view that they would be really close to a daughter and they are either trying to recreate a relationship they had with their own mum or make up for something they didn’t have.

I am happy to admit that I was desperate for a girl when I was pregnant for what I thought was the only time. I wanted a daughter so much I convinced myself I was having a boy because I was so worried that I would convey disappointment to the baby if it turned out to be a boy. It was a girl- and my unexpected second was a boy and I absolutely love having one of each and adore them both. And now they are adults, I am probably slightly closer to DS if anything. But I still remember that atavistic longing for a girl.

I think you’re neighbour is sexist. Literally the definition of sexist! She’s stereotyping based on someone’s sex. Ditto all the people here saying ‘thank god I only had boys’ or ‘I’m a girly girl so couldn’t have coped with boys blah blah’

It’s also just a silly thing to say!

1 boy. I don't want anymore and don't have any notions of having a girl. Not interested tbh

I've only got sons. Would a daughter have been nice? Yes of course. But I'm not less of a mum because I've only got sons.

I've got two girls who have two lovely boyfriends that I love to spoil in a way I don't the girls.
I never longed for a boy and definitely experienced full motherhood! Silly of your neighbour to say otherwise

I have 2 boys. I would have liked a girl (not to the extent of having 5 boys to try to have one). I’ve still experienced full motherhood though. Unless the definition is having every possible type of child which clearly no one ever has.

Only ever had one DD - she has severe SEN - and not to take anything away from my experience of raising her (amazing obvs !), I would have loved to have experienced raising a non-sen child. One that met milestones, had the usual friendships and interests and hopes and opportunities.

Not quite what your thread is about sorry 😁

I grew up in a house of women (no dad). Strangely, I always wanted a son. I have one son and I would love to have a daughter, but if I had more boys I’d be content.

This is my experience too. Two boys - couldn't be more different. Personality is so much more than sex.

I have a daughter, an only child. She was an ivf baby, a hard journey have her. I would have liked another child. I wanted a girl, perhaps originally because I thought I could give the parenting I didn’t have. Dd is 16 and I now realise how amazing boys are. They’re like overgrown puppies and so cute. Girls at 16 are far more sophisticated and I can see the parenting challenges are very different. I definitely would have been just as happy with a boy but I think it’s piffle that you don’t fully experience motherhood if you don’t have at least one of each.

I used to really, really want a DD and was deviated not to have one. Now I don’t think I’d change it even if I could. Very happy with the way things have worked out. Sons are brilliant. Daughters are no guarantee of a mini me, best friend. After time and reflection I think I was projecting all kinds of stereotypes that haven’t turned out to be true at all. I just don’t feel the same way now.

I have only daughters but consider I've experienced "full motherhood" or however she put it. I do sometimes wonder about and a slightly wish I could raise a son though. Not enough to have another baby even if I could guarantee a boy and I also sometimes wonder about and every so slightly wish I could have a third daughter!

She doesn’t ‘have a point’, she has an opinion.

I've got two dds. I am not sure if I think I have missed out. Maybe I have but I didn't want one of each? I didn't care whether dd1 was a boy or a girl, but I did want two the same.

In my head I think chances are better that two girls/boys will enjoy the same hobbies/days out etc. And frankly parenting is hard enough without having two kids who have totally opposite interests 😅

I only have sons (still young) and they are amazing. The idea of a girl sounds nice but I haven’t missed out at all, my boys give me everything I need.

2 boys here. As different as they come. DS 14 ASD, learning difficulties, cheeky, athletic, kindhearted but really exhausting. DS 11 sweet, calm, cuddly, caring, intelligent all the "typical girl traits" I'd say. I loved to play rough as a child and always came home with bruises and torn clothes from having tree jumped in the forest, playing football or fighting:). Luckily my children are both very riscadverse🙏.. So what does it mean to have a boy / have a girl? It all depends on the personality if you let them be who they are and don't force them into a narrow gender role. They're just children. Accept them and love them for what they are and as long as they are healthy and happy who cares about their gender?

Don’t have boys, saw one of those “boy dad vs girl dad” videos, the girls were gently kissing their dads awake and the boys ran in and jumped on their dads. My DD likes to wake her dad up by jumping on him and yelling “giddy up horsey GIDDY UP”. She managed to tear three sets of leggings last week.

After that, I figured it probably wouldn’t have made much difference. Tbh no I’ve never particularly wanted a boy, I’m not sure if I hadn’t had a daughter that I would have wanted one either. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything.

I have 2 DD and 1 DS and was raised in a family with similar composition. I was much closer to my brother than my sister growing up - closer in age, similar interests, friends in common. No one of my DC makes me any more or less of a mother.

This

All boys.

Secretly very relieved I didn't have a girl. I had a rubbishy relationship with my mother and think I'd struggle to be a good mum to a girl and have a vastly negative impact on them. I didnt want to repeat history.That sounds bonkers.

As for having a full.experience - I just don't care.... I don't think I could manage much more 😄

I see friends posting about hair and makeup for their tween girls ballet exams, and heave a huge sigh of relief that I have 2 boys where I don't need to deal with plaits and eyeliner, and we can just deal with the mud!

Did me 10 years ago want a girl? Yes. Does me right now want to change either of my boys for anything? Not a chance.