If you have never had a daughter?

[Justbecauseidid]

I was having a conversation with a neighbour earlier who has 5 sons and no daughter. She often expresses how she would have loved a girl. She then went on to say those who only get to experience the one sex will never get the chance to experience full motherhood. As in they would never know what is it to mother a daughter or vice versa.

It got me thinking...

Those of you with boys, would you like a daughter and those with girls would you like son?

I suppose she has a point about having a full rounded experience of motherhood.
It got me thinking.

I am the fourth girl born in my parents' attempt to have a boy. Makes me feel just great.
They got their boy on the 5th go.

I have 4 daughters, fine by me. Now have 5 granddaughters and 3 grandsons, all lovely, all different....

I sometimes wonder what a son of mine and dh's would have been like but that is as far as it goes. Got a friend with 3 sons who says she will never feel complete until she has a girl which l find really sad.

I'm a mum of boys I don't think there's a huge difference in being a boy or girl mum but I will never know! I don't like the typical stereotypical girl things like Disney, glitter and princesses so imagine if I had girls instead they'd be similar but who knows! On the other hand I don't like stereotypical boy things like football but and my boys don't either. I guess I will ever know but I'm very content with what I have and don't feel I'm missing out on anything.

I am so sorry for you and others in that situation 😞 can't imagine how that must have been growing up.

I was one of a "pigeon pair". Would have loved a sister though.

Some, and not everything was bad in childhood either. I'm encouraged by the majority of posters who have said that they are grateful for children either way, and who didn't, if they had an initial preference, change how they treated them.

As the third of 4 girls when my parents desperately wanted a boy having kids because you want a particular gender is cruel and does lasting damage if you don't accept what you were blessed with.

As the parent of 2 girls and 2 boys I can honestly tell you it has made no odds to me the gender of my kids. They are ALL unique - I don't have mini clones of my older kids.

3 boys here.

I don’t feel that I haven’t fully experienced motherhood…every child is different. I have no idea what kind of parenting experience a hypothetical daughter may have brought as she could have had any type of personality or interests.

Your neighbour sounds like she has stereotypical views of males and females.

Yes I must admit I probably wanted a girl when I was pregnant to have the same sort of relationship I had with my mum . I had a son . A lovely easy boy to bring up , a joy and he is dong well at 22. I don’t feel like we are particularly close but he has been at Uni for 3 years and very independent which I am glad about but just wish we were a bit closer.

Agreed, I did too. Although, it wasn’t so much of a thing in the 70s. Neither were gendered toys. But the skirts were too short.

You're a mother if you have a child, doesn't matter how many or what gender they are!

In my experience of having both, other than choice of clothes there's not much difference at the moment.

People are weird about this. I don’t get it at all. I feel sorry for people who experience gender disappointment but it’s not something I can relate to in the slightest.

Yeah I didn't care what i got with either

I wonder why gender disappointment is almost always when it's a boy? (In Western culture.)

NOT saying that people who have boys are disappointed by the way; and I know many people are happy with their boys, but when there IS gender disappointment, it's nearly always when it's a boy (and they wanted a girl.)

Because mothers are women.

I only have one and I think it's batshit that anyone would think they're not experiencing motherhood based on the sex of their children

I had 3 boys then a girl. We always wanted 4 and would have been over the moon with another boy. I don’t feel like her being a girl has given me a fuller experience of motherhood at all. All kids have different personalities and that’s what colours your experience.

That's just so sad. I'm sorry your mother was like that.

My late mum experienced it the other way. My granny favoured her elder brother to the extent that, if he came into the house and wanted to sit where mum was sitting, she'd be made to get up.

My aunt got her son after three girls and he was spoiled rotten. My parents had 3 girls and 2 boys. The boys were #2 and #4 but the younger one died as a baby. My mother in particular went overboard in not favouring the one son!

What a disgusting thing to say
What would you have done with the dreadful unwanted boy if you had one?

I'm lucky to have experienced both genders and I think most people want to have one of each.
I remember staying at my aunt & uncles overnight, they had 2 boys and he said to her 'now are you happy to finally have a girl in the house'
Almost all the families I know with 3/4 of the same gender went on to try for the opposite and most of them did get it. They probably would have gone on and on. We're talking the 80s /90 s here so it's not a new phenomenon. Nowadays, I think families are smaller and not as many are willing to 'keep trying' so there are probably disappointed parents around. Jake Quickenden's wife recently came under fire for being disappointed about their 3rd being a boy. Gender disappointment is a real thing and I don't think anyone should be made feel guilty for it. Sometimes people have these hopes and dreams since they were a kid and to have them dashed is sad. Of course there are more important things going on in the world but it is a valid feeling.

Five boys here. Never fancied a girl. I was afraid of having one, to be honest.

boy mum here and in all honesty if i had a choice i would like a girl one day as well. i do realise that the child being healthy is most important thing but i do feel like i would also like to experience being mother to a girl and hopefully share a bond with her like my ds will likely bond with dh over football etc.