If you have never had a daughter?

[Justbecauseidid]

I was having a conversation with a neighbour earlier who has 5 sons and no daughter. She often expresses how she would have loved a girl. She then went on to say those who only get to experience the one sex will never get the chance to experience full motherhood. As in they would never know what is it to mother a daughter or vice versa.

It got me thinking...

Those of you with boys, would you like a daughter and those with girls would you like son?

I suppose she has a point about having a full rounded experience of motherhood.
It got me thinking.

I have one ds and a dd. It really is different. My dd really is such a girly girl and I thoroughly enjoy that side of her. It's always giving dh and I lots of discussions as well when parenting. We've spent a few days with friends of ours recently who had 2 boys and they did say they always wonder about having a girl. I also noticed the interaction between the two boys so much more different than my ds and dd( a bit gentler and softer). I'm not sure how to explain but I do feel it's the best of both worlds. I would have been happy either way too.

I don't understand that at all. My first pregnancy was a MMC. Then two DDs followed by a MC.

I'm just so happy to have children. I don't understand how it would be different with different sex DC. Children are children.

Watch out for a bunch of grandsons to make up for that...

Lol my parents had my sister and me ,no boys ,they now have four Grandsons .

As a mother of a boy and a girl, you do experience the challenges of raising both gender. It’s two different problematics and I think if you only have one gender your parenting is different (all my friends have children of the same gender) but no way I can say it’s not full motherhood

I agree with this, at least in my case. I have two boys and a girl, in that order. There have been different challenges between my sons and my daughter, and there have also been different challenges between each of my children, regardless of gender. So yes, as a mother of 3 children, 2 genders, I have had perhaps a more varied experience than some mothers with a child/children of a single gender. But some mothers with a single child, I'm sure, will have had to deal with far more issues than I have with my 3. They are all valid and full motherhood experiences.

You have the full motherhood experience once you are a mother, be that to one child, or a whole gang of them. Regardless of numbers and gender. It may not be the same experience as another mother, but it's still the full experience.

Often it can happen 🤣 lovely experience though for the whole family.

Usually you find once people get one of the opposite sex too they stop and don't have any more.

I know loads who have 4dc. Three boys then a girl. You can tell they just kept going....I always feel sorry for the boys. As if they just weren't enough.

Why?

You know when you get pregnant that it could be a boy or a girl, and I'm sure if I had had a boy I'd have got used to the idea and loved him. I love my friends' little boys.

But I wanted a girl, I got a girl, and I'm glad I got a girl. I don't want any more now I've got my daughter, but if I'd have had a boy, I would still have wanted a girl.

Usually you find once people get one of the opposite sex too they stop and don't have any more.

Is this just your anecdotal findings or have you read it somewhere?

2 boys and never felt I wanted a girl. Though they are still very little.

I do wonder if I'll feel differently when they are older, as I've heard that mums and sons often lose their relationship when the sons get married but I guess only time will tell if that happens.

Interesting thread. I was such a boy - 2nd born with an older brother. My mother kept trying for a girl and had one but tragically she died young. Throughout our childhood my mother was always bemoaning the fact that we weren't girls, and totally failed to hide her disappointment in us. We felt unwanted and unloved - and still do to this day, though neither of us now speak to her apart from Christmas and birthdays. I can honestly say that and other events in our childhood really damaged us.

I have a boy and certainly don't feel I am missing/have missed anything because I haven't had a girl.

I love having a boy and love having one child.

I had no desire for more, whether boys or girls!

I know a few women this has happened to! They’ve had 2 or 3 daughters and no sons, then their daughters have only had boys so they’ve ended up with lots of lovely grandsons and no granddaughters.

Anecdotal. Seen it locally by several families.

a person I used to work with said this to me, utter utter rubbish. It actually quite upset me.
I am very very happy with my children.

This is so sad. I am so sorry you both experienced this. I hope you and your brother have found happiness without her in your life.

I think this depends on the kind of mother in law you become 😊
I really hope I am the one their girl or boyfriends can get on with!

she has a point about having a full rounded experience of motherhood.

She's stuck in the 1950's.

How can you bring a child into the world while no houses are available, or long-term job stability in today's day and age.

I have friends who have 5 - lawyer husband - and friends who have none. Fine by me.

I have boys and girls. I didn't feel more a mother once I had both genders. Also it's just mothering another child, all my children have different personalities, not gender specific.

You could say this of me. My last child was a different gender to the others. But correlation does not equal causation, I was always going to have a specific number of children. If they had been the same gender we would still have stopped for a number of reasons including financial, space and my health.

One DC, a boy. I just felt lucky to finally succeed in having a child. As I was over 40, one was enough. When they are small kids, I think girls clothing is horrendous - crop tops, leggings etc. Always been glad not to have to navigate pink too.

Girls don't need to wear pink?😬 hated the colour myself. Still do.

The ones I know went on and on talking about wanting a girl though. Disappointed the last one was "another" boy.

I wanted a girl both times (don't bother judging me - it was for flippant reasons and I didn't actually care either way) and now have two boys who couldn't be more different from one another if they tried 😅 Not sure the child's sex is the most important factor in how to parent.