If you have never had a daughter?

[Justbecauseidid]

I was having a conversation with a neighbour earlier who has 5 sons and no daughter. She often expresses how she would have loved a girl. She then went on to say those who only get to experience the one sex will never get the chance to experience full motherhood. As in they would never know what is it to mother a daughter or vice versa.

It got me thinking...

Those of you with boys, would you like a daughter and those with girls would you like son?

I suppose she has a point about having a full rounded experience of motherhood.
It got me thinking.

1 daughter and no i don't want a son.
When pregnant though i just wanted a healthy baby, was always going to be just 1.

"I was glad that my youngest was a boy because I knew that if he'd been a girl, people would assume I'd been trying for a girl specifically."
@elliejjtiny that's how I felt too after my 4th. I was glad he was another boy for that same reason. I wouldn't have others going "you can stop trying now". I just wanted four children, a big family. It's just how my family was meant to be. I love them all, had they been a mix or all girls they would have been loved all the same. The fact that we haven't kept going really is testament to the fact we are settled and the family really is complete.

Oh dear. DM was sadly disappointed years ago when I said I can't stand clothes shopping or getting my nails done, or going for coffees etc.

What a disappointment I am as a DD. Tragic 😥

My brother does all that stuff with her because he's geographically closer to her and feels obliged to. Lucky him🤣

By that logic if you aren't bisexual you haven't fully experienced love.

I can honestly say that I have never had a pang of regret for not having a daughter.
I am happy with my two adult sons and I am proud of the way they have turned out. I kind of expected to lose them once they left home but I'm so glad we are in touch I'd say 5 days out of 7 at least.
If I had daughters I would have been happy as well.

Great analogy! 👍🏼

Two sons and I was relieved not to have a daughter.

I have 2 boys. When my boys were younger I struggled that they seemed to have a closer relationship with DH because they liked the same sports, films etc. I felt we had little in common and thought a girl would be that missing piece especially as I have a close relationship with my own Mum.
I learnt how to love some of their hobbies and as they’ve grown older they now have a keen interest in fitness which is something they most definitely share with me so I don’t wonder any more what it would be like having a girl because I have 2 amazing boys that are my everything

What I do find depressing is the assumption that those of us who want/wanted girls feel the way because of shopping,nails, pink and "girlyness"......

There is something rather sad about having a fistful of babies in an attempt to get a son/daughter. The last children must feel a disappointment.

I had 3 girls and never yearned for a son - and I now have 6 grandsons (and one GD).

Agreed.

Mum of two boys, no DGC though. Have had to push back on comments for years from MIL who does think she’s missed out by not having a daughter, I think she wants me to validate her view - but it’s not mine. I have no problem at all not having one of each - I’m just grateful for what I’ve got.

And yes, MIL kniws about the years of infertility and secondary infertility, the failed IVF treatments and mcs - but still thinks I’m disappointed.

My sons are 17 and 19 now and I don’t feel that I have missed out on anything. My mum friends have a mix of sons and daughters and all of us have the same experiences, worries, joys etc.. My sons have had girlfriends, they're all just lovely teenagers to me. I don’t think it would fundamentally be a different experience.

Three girls one boy. Boy was easier to bring up. Girls are drama!!! Am close to them all now grown up but go out and hear from girls far more than boy. So I'm glad I had three girls and one boy rather than the other way round.

Part of the problem is the incredibly negative attitude towards men and boys in this country, it is rife on this site

I have 3 sisters, went to an all girls school, so when I had my first DS I was a bit nervous

3 boys later I have 3 funny, bright, hardworking young men who are very respectful to girls

It has also taught me that despite being 'girly' in my love of shoes, makeup, clothes etc, in reality I prefer being with boys. I love boy banter, having the house full of their mates, going to football matches.

The problem is expectations, I still love being with my incredibly fashion and makeup obsessed niece, but I never wish I had a girl myself

I'm a mum to two boys. Always wanted boys never felt particularly inclined towards wanting a girl especially. I didn't have a great relationship with my mum growing up so I don't know if that's a factor. We are done having kids but if we did have a third I'd lean towards wanting another boy although I'd always be over the moon and feel lucky to have any baby.

What a horrible thing to say.

Yet numerous comments saying they only want boys not girls are acceptable apparently. Gender disappointment is fine on here as long as it’s a girl you’re disappointed with.

Full motherhood? What bollocks!!

I have two girls and love them to bits. I'm sure being a mum to boys is wonderful too. I'll never get to experience that, but it doesn't make me any less of a mother than someone who has one (or more) of each. And I'm no more of a mother than my friends with only children - through choice or through circumstances.

Do I wonder what it would be like to have a son? Sure. But my DDs are quite different in personality and interests. I can't imagine that the sex of a hypothetical third child would be the main factor that made raising them any different.

I feel sorry for people experiencing gender disappointment, but don't fully understand it. I had children because I wanted to have children, not just a particular sex. I think society's expectations of what it means to be a little girl or a little boy have a lot to be answer for. Every child is a gift, and every child is an individual. I've certainly made my daughters aware that they can do whatever they want in life, including sports/ hobbies/ professions that used to be dominated by men.

No I can't say iv ever felt like that. When I as pregnant with my first I wanted a girl but as soon as he was in my arms I couldn't imagine anything else. After that I was a little scared of having a girl tbh in subsequent pregnancies as I knew boys etc. Love my boys

I have one DS and I'm fully a mother, thank you. You either are or you aren't, like being dead..

I didn't say that, sorry to disappoint you. Anyone saying they never wanted girls or boys is horrible. Obviously.

Or honest?

I have 2 girls and I do often wonder what it would be like to have a son. I don't necessarily feel I've missed out as such, because my girls are truly amazing and I love being their mum. But I do often wonder....

Oh and I absolutely do feel I've experienced the full motherhood experience. I don't think you need to parent both sexes for that. But I do often wonder what it would be like to have a boy, definitely.