to stop in motorway SOS lay-by so DD could wee

[TheWrongBus]

Genuine question, curious if there is an official/legal answer.

Driving to West Country, inevitably stuck in bad traffic jams on M25, DD9 suggests she may need a wee at some point but we’re only about an hour away from our lunch stop so I tell her ideally we’ll push through.

What I didn’t realise is that she’d drunk half her (large) bottle of water before we left home. She admits this just as we’re joining the M3 where there are seemingly permanent roadworks, no hard shoulder and emergency SOS lay-byes only.

I check and we’re around 25 minutes from the next services and at least 15 minutes from the next junction. Daughter at this point starts to cry because she’s so desperate so we decide to pull into the SOS lay-bye and hubby takes her behind the crash barrier for a wee. From what he reports it’s clearly not the first time this spot has been used in this way….

I don’t like using the lay-bye for this purpose and appreciate there are dangers to stopping there but I’m not sure what else we could have done. With the M25 traffic and the M3 roadworks I think it was at least 50 minutes between the previous M25 junction and the next M3 junction and literally nowhere we could stop between. So what else could we have done?

Am hoping they don’t fine people for using these lay-byes in a non-emergency, but given daughter literally about to wet herself isn’t it arguably a medical emergency anyway?

As to what else you could have done if she couldn't have held it or you found a loo... She'd have had to piss herself, ideally on top of a towel or something

At least she is alive to cry. Being out and around a volume of cars travelling at speed, when you have nonidea how many people are drunk, high, hungover or driving illegally is so dangerous and IMO not worth the risk to her. She won't die of wet pants but the risk of her being out of the car puts her et a significantly higher risk than being in it.

Admittedly M4 and hard shoulder as opposed to a lay-by but this news story and the episode of Crash Detectives has stayed with me. The family pulled over due to an unwell child and a drink & drug driver ploughed in to the back of them, killing 2 children and injuring their mother.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-67218612

(edited to add, incase it isn’t obvious, I wasn’t judging or blaming the parents)

Driving to West Country, inevitably stuck in bad traffic jams on M25, DD9 suggests she may need a wee at some point but we’re only about an hour away from our lunch stop so I tell her ideally we’ll push through.

So she was basically telling you she needed the loo and you ignored her. Disgusting

A medical emergency… wtf have I just read. I’m in the car now and need a wee perhaps I should call an ambulance?

You never stop on a motorway so incredibly dangerous.

This. It's the risk of death vs wetting herself

My first scan of your opening line read as something completely different!! That may well have been deemed an emergency!

Honestly kids are never forthcoming with when they need the toilet, was it really worth 'pushing through' till lunch? How often do you make yourself wait a hour when you need the toilet?

Normally absolutely not.
In the situation the OP describes, absolutely not.

There have been a couple of times (literally) when due to an accident ahead, traffic has been at a standstill (so risky stationary not a slow crawl) for long enough that people had switched off engines, stretching their legs outside (even having picnics at the side once 😂). In that instance it's fine, but those sorts of absolute shut downs are pretty rare, and I certainly wouldn't be the first one out of the car.

Yes, it is a very bad idea to stop in the emergency areas for this purpose. (I think it's also a bad idea that we have the cost-cutting "emergency areas" instead of a continuous hard shoulder, but that's another debate.)

This thread has echoes of the vitriolic threads of 2020: "How dare you walk the dog twice in a day: Boris said you will kill Granny!!"

I think the OP has gotten the message by now, and won't do it again.

Motorways honestly seem more hassle then they are worth. Its a long boring stretch of road where you can't stop regardless of what is happening in the car kids out of car seats needing loo feeling tired and where at any point somone could have an accident/ lose concentration and potentially kill you. Awful things I can't think why anyone bothers with them for the sake of saving a couple of hours (if theres no traffic) traveling time.

But I speak as a non driver so my opinion is invalid.

It's very easy to talk about what you should do from the comfort of a sofa while having a cup of tea. Life is rarely that ideal.

OP, you shouldn't have done it, but it's done now and no harm was done. Forget it and have a lovely weekend. Don't let the ghouls slavering at the prospect of giving someone a repeated kicking get into your head.

That is heartbreaking.

theduchessofspork "Oh I didn’t realise it was the motorway"

How can you not realise it was the motorway when it says 'motorway' in the title of the thread? You must have read that to decide to open it. 😕

Pull Out? Leaving child and partner behind?

This is just caused by the madness of people giving children huge bottles of water. It's just not necessary, and some children will just drink it because they are bored or from habit. Of course it's sensible to carry lots of water with you on a journey, but an adult can keep a large bottle and manage intake.

You're still justifying this ridiculously dangerous behaviour?

Still? This is my first post on the thread.

Justifying? No, that's why I said she shouldn't have done it.

Op this was such a silly decision that put your whole family at risk and is illegal. It's also illegal to stop on hard shoulder. A wet car seat is messy but better than the alternative.

I wouldn't even stop on the motorway for a break down if the car was still moving forward! She could have wet herself you stop at the next service and clean the car seat!

My dc are in their 20s. Our nearest family are hundreds of miles away so we have travelled on motorways A Lot with babies/small/older children. We have never stopped on the hard shoulder/refuge area for them to have a wee. It's really not that difficult.

No, it's caused by the idiocy of the OP.
Who claims to be a lawyer, by the way

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5146966-who-should-receive-the-compensation?reply=137690960

Good for you. I'd give you a medal but I'm fresh out.