to stop in motorway SOS lay-by so DD could wee

[TheWrongBus]

Genuine question, curious if there is an official/legal answer.

Driving to West Country, inevitably stuck in bad traffic jams on M25, DD9 suggests she may need a wee at some point but we’re only about an hour away from our lunch stop so I tell her ideally we’ll push through.

What I didn’t realise is that she’d drunk half her (large) bottle of water before we left home. She admits this just as we’re joining the M3 where there are seemingly permanent roadworks, no hard shoulder and emergency SOS lay-byes only.

I check and we’re around 25 minutes from the next services and at least 15 minutes from the next junction. Daughter at this point starts to cry because she’s so desperate so we decide to pull into the SOS lay-bye and hubby takes her behind the crash barrier for a wee. From what he reports it’s clearly not the first time this spot has been used in this way….

I don’t like using the lay-bye for this purpose and appreciate there are dangers to stopping there but I’m not sure what else we could have done. With the M25 traffic and the M3 roadworks I think it was at least 50 minutes between the previous M25 junction and the next M3 junction and literally nowhere we could stop between. So what else could we have done?

Am hoping they don’t fine people for using these lay-byes in a non-emergency, but given daughter literally about to wet herself isn’t it arguably a medical emergency anyway?

Stupid and dangerous. You put your child’s life at risk.

You could certainly argue that somebody wetting themselves but you'd be wrong LOL. On what planet is that comparable to a stroke, heart attack or severe blood loss? 😂

Not only is there the risk of a car smashing into the back of your stationary car, you're also taking the space for a driver that has a real emergency or breakdown.

No you don’t.

you phone national highways (using the phone in the refuge area) and they arrange a lane closure to allow you to safely enter the main carriageway

It might not be an official emergency, but we’ve stopped twice on the M25 hard shoulder to let Gds of 3 or 4 have a wee. It was a question both times of a max of about 2 minutes, and yes, I know you’re not supposed to, but I honestly can’t feel bad or guilty about it.
Please don’t worry about it any more, OP.
I'm glad you're not looking after my children

Sorry OP but that is really dangerous as pp's have said. You do need to be better prepared. It is not worth the risk.

I would also be surprised if nobody was watching. A Highway England Employee explained that if you are in an Emergency Refuge Area for more than a minute or so, they would be alerted in the control room because there are sensors in those bays - so they would be watching what you're doing. You may get a fine/points if they were in fact monitoring.

You're also not supposed to leave without picking up the SOS phone and letting them know, because they need to close a lane for you to join safely. There isn't enough room to pick up enough speed to join.

Next time, would she agree to pull ups as a one off for the journey?

Next time OP just needs to be more prepared. Plan rest stops and make sure everyone goes to the toilet before they leave. Limit drinks to a reasonable amount. No-one needs a full bottle of water per hour.

I'm in my forties now and my mum still makes me go to the toilet before we leave the house and drinks on long car trips are practically forbidden. Last time we went on holiday we stopped at a roadside food truck (with no toilets) for a bacon sarnie. She allowed us to share two tins of coke between the five of us and that was only after we all tantrummed like children

Don't be ridiculous. Dangerous and illegal.

No. But if they do, and you are parked in it there is a good chance that your car will be hit because the car with the blow-out will be difficult to control. Laybys are not for stopping for a pee.

So am I. Toddlers loose on the hardshoulder of a M-way? Utterly stupid behaviour. Unforgivably dangerous.

It is horrible when you need a wee badly. I remember so vividly being 10 and on a coach to holiday hotel from airport and I was so desperate I was crying. Never forgotten it. I do think it was dangerous though and people get killed on lay-by’s - a wet car seat would have been preferable. You might well get a fine and I think you have to just suck it up

I am so sorry that happened to your uncle and cousin. There seem to be a lot of entitled/totally stupid/rules-are-for-other-people/it does no harm posters on here, with no idea that they are breaking rules that are there for everyone's safety.
It almost makes me hope some will be caught doing this and get fined and points.

She's 9! She doesn't need a pull-up, she just needs not to neck loads of water before the journey and OP needs to plan toilet stops into the journey.

Don't give a child a water bottle prior to or during a long journey.

Irresponsible and illegal. Risking your and your child’s life. Hope you get fined.

Genuine question, curious if there is an official/legal answer.

Since you are in doubt, I think you should have looked the answer up online rather than asking MN. You should know the rules of the road.

I just saw some idiothole do this on the M4 today with a little girl. Shocking.

haven't rtft so maybe been mentioned already but would one of these have been useful?

the shewee products I have are well made and good quality

www.shewee.com/peebol-pocket-sized-toilet.html

Curious about this (I have a recently toilet trained DD) and have never been in this situation - those of you saying use the potty not the layby- wouldn’t you have to stop in the lay-by for dd to use a potty (or other) anyway? I know I will have this issue at some point so wondering what the done thing is? 🤔

Oh good luck getting a 9 yo to manage with that!

Yeah, I'm not sure what a travel potty would have solved in OP's situation.

When mine were just toilet trained I would put a bed mat on the car seat with a towel on top. One son did end up wetting himself once and it was horrible. He was so sad, and I felt awful, but I wasn't going to stop on the hard shoulder.

So dangerous to stop on the motorway. No exaggeration but whole families have actually died stopping on the motorway because a child needed a wee. Buy a shrinkable pee bottle. We have one of these in the car for our child.

I actually saw someone changing a babies nappy on the tarmac of one of those emergency bays on the M25 once.

We use the Potette bags that you usually put on the travel potty. Hold them (or get the child to hold them) in the right position under them and pray the angle is correct! They’re also great as sick bags .

www.amazon.co.uk/Potette-Plus-Disposable-Liners-Pack/dp/B0026RMWJC/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?adgrpid=161175124276&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.mhMsrLRw7IWG0KPOQQVlHpV_gUMw4rcTBHKOM_SSmwC6weT4Hlyf1g37b8hH8DGHi1yeuVSy89lWHlak-J43AF_qlSztMwUk_dMAhbI4kTS2iM1Dcxa8khFWoCJbyRTSMWYkgGNdrruA6GJM9miPumjsiD-P0ve3PozSQ-aBYAsbDrQYAoJAEhLJmD1UtVleUuF9jwjTrwoyVK0VTtw1mw.4Eiv7n42OMwtDbc6rEcWuWMpluVBt4tHFis53f08Lww&dib_tag=se&gad_source=1&hvadid=696699495726&hvdev=m&hvexpln=70&hvlocphy=1006933&hvnetw=g&hvocijid=4217747205857744144--&hvqmt=e&hvrand=4217747205857744144&hvtargid=kwd-300588834439&hydadcr=29869_2482794&keywords=potette+plus+liners&qid=1724610352&sr=8-3

There was a horrible fatal accident near here where a family stopped in lay-by when child was being sick. So dangerous