taking a child to visit dad in prison

[gameofthornes]

simple one, DSS has been sent to prison, up until now we have not been allowed to see GC (now 8 years old). DSS's ex is refusing to take his son to see him in prison. So DSS has asked his dad to take the child in for a prison visit.

I have said HELL NO! we've not been allowed to be in this childs life ever and i don't think prison is a place to take an 8 year old.

AIBU for refusing to facilitate this visit

I’m honestly not sure we should allow prison visits at all. It’s meant to be a punishment at the end of the day and it’s a big way for contraband to make it into the jail.

The memories of dc father being in prison will last forever.
Don’t do it.

There’s a wonderful charity called Children Heard and Seen that supports families with a parent in prison and they might have some information available.

Prisoners have a right to keep family ties

It makes the job easier for all of they have this

And it's about rehabilitation not punishment

Plenty of kids have bad memories.....DV, abuse,neglect

Visiting a much loved parent in a visiting hall is no comparison

Except visiting in prison is something OP can control

I agree that as it's not a safety issue then the child's thoughts are important. But it's how to ask the child so they don't feel as if they have to give a certain answer (eg so not to upset mum or dad) and so that they don't feel guilt about whatever they chose. And that they know they are able to change their mind at any point and no-one will be cross. But that's a worry / responsibility for his mum and other people who know the child well.

That's fascinating!

@redrudolph

Have you not even read the thread? OP has NO control over the kid visiting

His Mother doesn’t want him to visit, why would you go against her wishes ? The guy is a sex offender, absolutely no !!

@Runmybathforme where does the mother say she doesn't want the kid to visit?

I have spent a lot of time in prison (for work) and observed family visits. I have always been of the view that prison is not suitable for children and that they should not attend prison visits. I note “DSS” has had a sporadic relationship with the GC prior to incarceration. In these circumstances I would not facilitate visits. I actually don’t think the fact it is sexual offences is an important factor (assuming victim was an adult) as to whether visits should be facilitated as there is really no offending that resulted in imprisonment that would be a positive for the child.

Well on the other hand I have witnessed many many children in prison visiting family members. It's a very positive experience.

Family days, occasions....all get celebrated in a child centric way. It's not a cold harsh environment.

Kids come skipping out clutching sweets/balloons/drawings with smiles on faces. Not sure what people think goes on