Daughter refusing to speak normally

[Maryahadaballtoday]

I’m at my bloody wits end with my child and I’m very close to telling her so.

I have one child (daughter she’s eight) she is my only child as a few years ago I had my tubes tied neither me or partner wanted another daughter - perfectly fine with just one and she has plenty of cousins and friends to spend time with. I

Its worth noting before I go on that my child is not neurodivergent nor is she from a broken home. Me and her dad have been together twelve years. We have never broken up nor divorced either, partly because we’ve never been married. So there’s really no need for her to be doing what she does.

Lately she has been reverting back to baby speech - saying things like chippies or icky, the worst is bobo when she wants her water bottle and it’s grinding my gears to the maximum. It’s gotten so bad that my partner will flat out ignore her.

Earlier on today she had a full on temper tantrum and kept screaming “icky icky icky” over ice cream spilling on her fingers while we were out. When I pulled her up on to her feet and sternly told her she was on thin ice she reverted back to baby speech “I no wike you” was among my top five favourites.

AIBU to ignore her like my partner is doing? Is this a phase she’ll grow out of? I’m dreading sending her back to school the week after next because her baby talk has got so bad none of her friends have wanted to spend time all summer

I really don’t need the shaming mum parade, I’d like a hand hold and for someone to tell me their kid has also been driving them beserk too

although I know I’m likely to be flamed - Mumsnet seems to be that way

My eldest went through the same phase at that age - drove me buts - she still does it but she know I have no patience for it now so had thankfully stopped for the most part. I think it's attention seeking and an awareness perhaps that they are growing up but trying to still hold on to that baby feeling

Why has she seen 3 shrinks?

All behaviour is communication. There will be a need thats not being met. The shady none answers to why autism has come up and seeing 3 different professionals and the fact you have autism in your family probably points to her being ND.

If she does it at school it'll probably be a good thing to get on the sencos radar, if she stops jist keep an eye out for any anxiety coming out in another way.

Be thankful it's just a baby voice. Some of them regress in toileting.

And this comment says it all.

Just because your nephews don’t do it doesn’t mean it isn’t a common sign. It can also be a sign of neurological issues.

This clearly isn’t an isolated thing either so the question is why aren’t you doing more?

Why 3 professionals and an ASD screen if no other issues?

She's probably just a bit out of sorts because of no school etc., then found something to entertain herself with.

Treat her like a baby ("no TV until your three!") but play baby games in the house. The duller the better. Dont let her have ice cream, sweets, etc, just milk for snacks. If you turn it into a game that youre playing too, then it'll soon get boring.

Or if youre out, then roll your eyes at her.and go for a briski"no. We'rr not playing the baby game now" or "if you cant be bothered to speak properly then I wont bother to listen" type of response when out and about.

I have no advice, but that would absolutely drive me crazy. I hope it’s a short phase. My friend is a SENCO at a primary and I think she’d say ignore. She gave me that advice when my then 4yo son started suddenly stammering and I was being irrational and freaking out.

If she’s doing it all day then she likely can’t help it.

I've only read your posts @Maryahadaballtoday

I think you sound a decent human being who is hacked off by one of your daughter's behaviours. I used to get hacked off with several of my daughters behaviours in her primary school years.

I would be annoyed with that behaviour too.

My advice would be to ignore ignore ignore. You've spoken to her about it at a calm time. She's still doing it. You've tried to address it in the moment. She's still doing it.

You're going to need to power through until she goes back to school. I imagine her friends will give her short shrift when term begins and that'll sort it out. Personally, I wouldn't respond to anything she says in baby talk. Do what your husband is doing.

Oh dear... The answer is clearly in front of OPs eyes and she can't see it...

For some reason she is role playing at being a much younger child. This could have a relatively innocuous reason such as having spent time around young children and thought they were cute (i remember at a similar age going through a phase of adopting my young cousins speech patterns as i thought she was adorable. As did everyone else, which no doubt contributed!) Or it could be that she feeling a bit anxious and reluctant about growing up. Not every child is rushing to be a 'big girl/boy'. Some enjoy being a young child and want to hold on. I think rather than tell her she's a big girl, I'd ask her (outside of challenging the baby talk) how she feels about becoming a big girl.

My dd did this for a while although she just spoke in a babyish voice as opposed to using babyish language. I’d always ask her why she was doing it and that seemed enough for her to stop. She’d usually do it when she was sitting with us and getting attention from us so it wasn’t an attention thing for her.

My DD went through this phase and several of her friends' mums also complained of similar. We decided it was a reaction to "growing up" i.e. puberty, periods were being discussed at school, some of the boys were making comments on the girls bodies, leg hair etc.
I went for the ignore, offer a nap or an early bed, occasionally answer back in a baby calming voice and sing a lullaby. It passed.

@Maryahadaballtodayyour responses on this thread seem a bit oddly focused on irrelevant details. Could you explain why your child has seen 3 psychiatrists? That information could be extremely relevant here.

My 8 year old and her friends do this. I’d say it’s a phase. An annoying one, I may add.

This and of course she might want a potty or nappy - suggest it. But no tv or computer or chocolate or big girl treats etc

I stoppped reading at “broken home”.

No films in bed for babies though - right?

I have 3 kids and they’ve all been through that phase, it is really annoying, I just used to say ‘stop talking like a baby I can’t understand you!’ They grew out of it. Hang in there!!

Have you asked her, when she's not in baby mode, why she's doing it? Other than wanting attention as she knows she'll get any kind, good or bad, could it be trauma related? Is she trying to tell you something? Try to see it from her eyes and not as an adult, children do odd things for attention as they can't articulate themselves properly. Please don't worry though. My daughter use to do it too, you're not alone xx

Blanky!

Well, I'm not an expert neither
do I take children's nonsense (don't have any),
but this seems to be something more concerning.
Absolutely sure your daughter isn't ND?
Abuse?
I would speak to a children's psychologist.

I'm in NI where the summer holidays are now in there 8th week, I feel your pain! Reading between the lines as you don't explicitly say, has she spoken like this with her friends or is it just at home? I'd hope that going back to school will knock it on the head but in the meantime I'd either talk baby talk to her at ALL times until she gets annoyed and your point is made or I'd ignore/respond sorry don't understand you and ignore until she speaks properly.
Hang on in there OP the end of the holidays are in sight!

So, your child 'ruined the day with her baby talk'?
You sound very angry, do you think that might affect her?

Give her pocket money in line with the age she speaks.

I’m really not sure about all this baby treatment. In a way it’s essentially trying to shame or punish her: oh so do you also poo your nappy; and you can’t stay up late.

I see where it is coming from, but I suspect the dd is doing it for some reason that may not be a big one but can still be a valid one. As others have mentioned it can be fear of growing up/ puberty etc. Look at all the peri menopause threads on Mn: change can be challenging. Or maybe she’s looking for reassurance and associates babyhood as a time of being swaddled in blankets and kept safe. These aren’t unnatural feelings.