Daughter refusing to speak normally

[Maryahadaballtoday]

I’m at my bloody wits end with my child and I’m very close to telling her so.

I have one child (daughter she’s eight) she is my only child as a few years ago I had my tubes tied neither me or partner wanted another daughter - perfectly fine with just one and she has plenty of cousins and friends to spend time with. I

Its worth noting before I go on that my child is not neurodivergent nor is she from a broken home. Me and her dad have been together twelve years. We have never broken up nor divorced either, partly because we’ve never been married. So there’s really no need for her to be doing what she does.

Lately she has been reverting back to baby speech - saying things like chippies or icky, the worst is bobo when she wants her water bottle and it’s grinding my gears to the maximum. It’s gotten so bad that my partner will flat out ignore her.

Earlier on today she had a full on temper tantrum and kept screaming “icky icky icky” over ice cream spilling on her fingers while we were out. When I pulled her up on to her feet and sternly told her she was on thin ice she reverted back to baby speech “I no wike you” was among my top five favourites.

AIBU to ignore her like my partner is doing? Is this a phase she’ll grow out of? I’m dreading sending her back to school the week after next because her baby talk has got so bad none of her friends have wanted to spend time all summer

I really don’t need the shaming mum parade, I’d like a hand hold and for someone to tell me their kid has also been driving them beserk too

although I know I’m likely to be flamed - Mumsnet seems to be that way

With our DD it seems to be when she's struggling with communicating (because of being stressed/ overwhelmed/ tired/ around lots of people or whatever reason) then it's easier for her to communicate in the most basic form than to put effort into making a proper sentence in an appropriate voice.
She rarely uses baby talk when at home alone with us unless it's after a busy day out or when somethings gone wrong such as spilt drink or shes hurt herself etc, but its common when she's around other people or after stressful times like a school day or busy day out.

I didn’t realise children from “broken homes” talked like this 🤣🤣 are you from the 1960s? My children are from a so called broken home and at 5 and 6 they don’t talk like babies.
im sure it’s just a phase though and you are massively over reacting.

Errr you said in your OP that you'd been sterilised?

why are you getting so worked up about this? She is probably looking for your attention & just experimenting with your triggers. Do some funny voices back to her & when she is calm and behaving normally tell her it’s silly and not something you want in your family.

im sure there are plenty of mums who would take your perceived problem over many issues facing mums today

OP do you notice what you are doing here? You are dismissing (with stern language) a thoughtful comment by another person and refusing to give it any air time. You are not reflecting on it or wondering whether maybe you could tweak your approach.

Your response right here says a lot for me. She needs some warmth from you and connection and understanding

Oh come on! She's just mucking about!

No advice but if it's any consolation my 8 year old son is also driving me mad.

Op I am sorry you are going through this.
I am also sorry you are getting a hard time on here.
If your 8 year was perfectly coherent before this baby talk I would simply ignore her when she does it- she thinks it is cute or will get her attention. Has she watched any movies lately with baby talk? How do her friends speak?

At 8 years old I would say to her " you are going to look like an idiot at school if you talk like that"
Not PC but I am old and it is the truth

I got the ick, OP, from your self-deprecating humour about your age.

Similar to what you say your daughter is doing, no?

Oh get over yourself, you know very well what the OP was conveying with the term "broken home" and as for the insistence that the OP "doesn't have the power" (whatever that means) to say her DD isn't ND you apparently can distance diagnose her in a moment! 🙄

How long has it being going on oP? I read it as a short term thing but the three psychiatrists made me wonder if I’d assumed that rather than read it? Surely DD must have a pretty strong understanding it’s causing problems if she seen three psychiatrists? Did they discuss it directly with her?

I noticed that too. The whole thread is weird - the brusque defensiveness, the "my child is completely typical and emotionally balanced but has seen THREE psychiatrists" (that @Maryahadaballtoday has ignored all questions about), and the irrelevant long covid detail that contradicts the OP!

Lots of us don’t have the tech skills younger generations have. How is she supposed to convey that?

Why was your DD examined by three psychiatrists though? Has this baby talk been going on for a long time or was there another reason? I couldn’t find a response to that.

copy/pasted from your earlier post:

I'm saying that your DD very much is neurodivergent and that it's nothing to be ashamed of!

you don’t say ‘it sounds like’ here.

Equally children don’t have the skills to fully communicate everything they can perceive.

Pretty sure she is bluntly telling people this to stop dozens of questions like is he her real dad? Does she see her real dad? Does he have another baby and she thinks she is being replaced questions

Come on. There’s clearly more to this.

You have your tubes tied because you didn’t want another daughter? Did you mean daughter or child?

Then you decided to not have another child because both you are your partner are suffering with health issues due to long Covid? If you have been suffering to the point that you decided to have your tubes tied, she is likely to have picked up on it the fact that things are different. Both her parents have significant health issues, that hasn’t just gone over her head.

You seem to think she definitely couldn’t be ND. And if she isn’t ND the only other reason that would be understandable would be if she is from a ‘broken home’. You seem hugely defensive and quite judgemental.

Then we have an 8 year old who has seen 3 psychiatrists? But there’s no other problems. You even have a discussion with the school about whether she is autistic. But never shown signs?

She is doing it for a reason. You just haven’t figured it out. Most likely because she has picked up on the fact that you and your partner are now ill. Have a lot going on. She may enjoy the attention you give her when she does it. She might enjoy the attention when she is pushing your buttons. Then her brain is learning she gets what she wants. ND presents very differently in girls. It’s not uncommon for people like psychiatrists and parents and teachers to miss it.

I think (privately) you really need to look at what’s going on and be honest with yourself. Kids who don’t have any issues don’t see 4 psychiatrists. Their parents don’t have conversations about autism with teachers Unless there are concerns. Parents don’t go to multiple psychiatrists and teachers for a short period of baby talk.

There’s more going on. You don’t have to discuss here. But I don’t think you are even being honest with yourself.

Respectfully OP she probably knows something is up in the household just ignore the behaviour walk away from it if you can tell her to use her words and ignore her if she persists

Of course she won't use this with her teacher. She is trying, as best an eight year old child can, to tell you something. What do you think it might be?

Ooh bless op your daughter must be shattered after a day trip from south wales to Llandudno that was be at the very least a six hour round trip
you must all be pooped

I think op the posters could have a point about the job loss stress. She may not know the details but children do pick up on stress. Baby talk can be a cry for attention. Even teen girls and some women do it to each other when offering and seeking comfort :” nooooooo! Awww! Sooo sorry.” ( hugs)

Mind you I’m a bit confused about the timeframe as it sounds as though it has been going on longer than the job loss if she’s lost her friends, seen three psychiatrists etc?

Actually it took me 4 and Half hours to drive there for work a few months ago from Cardiff
hope the Orme was worth the drive

Do you think the bit you quoted might explain why OP was sterilised?

Stop worrying about whether your child will embarrass you and start wondering why she is struggling to express herself with you.