Does your dh let you choose decor?

[sunnymountains]

From bed covers to wall paint, furniture, curtains, cushions dh will choose the lot and with no pink or anything remotely feminine everything is blue or very male looking.
I grew up with my mum mainly choosing the home furnishings but then my dad had no interest in anything like that so was happy to leave her to it and wouldn't have noticed anything different anyway.
I do think it's nice he takes an interest but I'd like some input, every room in our house is blue and masculine looking and as a woman I'd like some of my own touches.
Is this a bit unusual?

Ah, so it is possible then to teach them taste?!

DH still has very questionable choices. If it was down to him, our house would resemble a teenager's bedroom from the 1990s!

Thankfully he realises, so we have an agreement that he chooses the tech in the house and I choose the decor. In reality, the decorating is a joint decision led by me. He doesn't like our spare room wallpaper, but he's not actually bothered enough to suggest anything else and is happy I'm happy with it.

OP, you have a serious problem with your husband being controlling. It's a JOINT property, in which you both live. You deserve to show some of your personality in it as much as he does.

You need to be strong and put your foot down. If he doesn't like it, he knows where the door is, after all, he probably chose that himself too.

I couldn't live with someone who 'let's me' do things. Or in this case 'Doesn't let you' have a say in your own home. He sounds very controlling and selfish to be honest

We choose things together. DP usually does all the research for larger things because I hate all the reading of reviews, which he likes doing. We always choose together though. Sometimes if I’m in Dunelm or similar and see something I like, I’d buy it and I think we have similar taste so I pretty sure he’d like it. If he didn’t like something I’d bought he honestly wouldn’t be bothered. I’ve never thought of it as he ‘lets’ me do anything, we’re a team.

My DH will wear pink and everything. He looks good in it.

If anyone ever says anything to him he just says "real men can wear a colour without being scared of it" or "I'm comfortable with my sexuality, aren't you?".

It's just a colour. I prefer blue to pink (and I'm female, oooooh) but it's just a colour. I actually tend to go more for yellows, teals, greens, burnt orange etc. DH likes blue and bright. My DD announced yesterday her favourite is now green. Then immediately chose a pink dress.

Colours!

My dh would like to wear pink, or red. He really shouldn't. He is slightly florid of complexion and it clashes. I tend to say it best when I say nothing at all.

He sounds like a bore. Is there anything good about the relationship?

I can't wear pink/red because I flush quite easily and then I look all one colour. I still do sometimes if I like the clothes, but just not for anything where there'll be lots of photos!

I'm a bit jealous of DH because he has that complexion/colouring that can get away with every colour.

I care very much how the house and garden look. My husband was an engineer and cares very much that everything functions properly and efficiently and he has reached the age ( 62) where he cares about the lawn. He doesn't care what anything looks like. All our money is pooled and shared. If its a small purchase (e.g duvet cover) then I choose it. He doesn't care and it doesn't need to be discussed. If its a bigger purchase ( sofa, £6,000 on curtains) then we discuss the budget and then I get on with choosing it. One of his many appealing qualities was that he wasn't interested in decor and I could do whatever I liked. It's a second marriage for me. I certainly wouldn't have married him if he wanted to control what things looked like.....I want to control that .

No he doesn't 'let me' do anything- we choose together. Isn't that what a partnership means?

I’m interested in interior design so I couldn’t stand not having a say. If you both care about the decor, then it should be a joint decision, which means he would need to compromise. If he won’t, then he sounds too selfish to be in a marriage/partnership and should probably be living on his own.

We're younger than you but similar. I like the house to look nice and he likes things to work.

Does he bully you in other ways?

Does he do it if you pay for it?

You're not really responding to the points people are making

You don't sound that bothered

Has everyone noticed that even if she does buy something he removes it?

Mine doesn’t give a shit and leaves it all to me. I’d love for it to be more collaborative but he’s just not fussed. Your husband sounds quite domineering and unreasonable tbh.

Hmm, this has been on my mind recently! I moved into the house my husband bought with his ex. He likes plain and non-patterned, I LOVE color and pattern. He'll grudgingly let me paint a room then say how nice it looks and I want to throttle him!

The battle at the moment is a rotting deck at the. End of the garden which could be such a beautiful patio with a pergola and flower bed...he's really digging his heels in for no apparent reason and I resent him for it. Especially as he got a big piece of landscaping done without reference to me which totally fucked up a week off I had from work and trashed all the spring flowers. I don't want to pick the big fight that's brewing over it because I think it could actually break us.

My husband and I agreed on all the decorating in the house. The downstairs bathroom is sort of orchid purple and the family room has shelves with my doll collection on them. He put up the shelves for the dolls. Other parts of the house have beige or blue walls; the kid’s rooms have blue-flowered wallpaper and green-and-cream-striped wallpaper.

I did wonder if the doll display might be “a bridge too far,” but he didn’t care. I bought him the posters that are in his home office because I do most of the shopping and knew he likes Van Gogh and Dune.

'let'?

Its MY house (current house was mine and DH moved in, house we are buying will be with MY money from MY house sale)

Its MY money (we have separate bank accounts)

& thus MY house is decorated with MY stuff however I like it.

DH wouldn't dare try to tell me what I can and can't do. I do talk to him about big things in life like housing stuff though because hes my best friend and the person I bounce off.

My dh doesn't even know where the mugs or spoons are. Some might think that's strange.. but it suits me fine. I am home all the time as I woke from home and I do 100% of house work. So I just choose what goes where. To be fair he wouldn't notice If I painted the whole house orange I think.

My DH ‘let’s’ me choose all the colours, styles etc, I ‘let’ him do all the decorating…🤣🤣

Yes, if I bought a small ornament and my OH took it back to the shop and exchanged it for something he liked, I’d think he’d crossed a line. Far too controlling 🚩

Dh didn’t see the last two houses we bought until the day we moved in. He would have no interest at all in choosing a duvet cover or curtains. He likes minimalist, no clutter although he suffers my cat trees, pen, dogs bed etc and I try to keep things uncluttered. We both respect each other’s opinions. Are you happy with your dh OP?

“Go wrong”?
“Go wrong” in what way? The only way that decor can “go wrong” is when a person decides they don’t like looking at it. Surprise surprise he agrees then changes his mind and uses it against you. He’s a controlling arsehole.

We choose big things like furniture, paint colour or wallpaper togethe. I will usually choose cushions, curtains and bedding because DH isn't that bothered. He usually likes what I choose but if he hated something I would return it.

This.