Does your dh let you choose decor?

[sunnymountains]

From bed covers to wall paint, furniture, curtains, cushions dh will choose the lot and with no pink or anything remotely feminine everything is blue or very male looking.
I grew up with my mum mainly choosing the home furnishings but then my dad had no interest in anything like that so was happy to leave her to it and wouldn't have noticed anything different anyway.
I do think it's nice he takes an interest but I'd like some input, every room in our house is blue and masculine looking and as a woman I'd like some of my own touches.
Is this a bit unusual?

This in spades.

I mainly decide on what we do, but if DH really didn’t like it then we compromise. He doesn’t get much of a say on cushions, curtains or bedding because I go out and buy them when he’s at work. He pays that much attention that we had a new rug in the living room for 11days before he noticed.

I absolutely wouldn’t live with anyone who told me what I could and couldn’t have in my own home.

Your husband's attitude is not normal and not ok.

I'm my house DH doesn't really give a shit about what things look like, is very frugal and would happily live in student squalour, which does make decorating tricky.

So how it works for us is that I come with a plan and bring it to DH. He will then point out lots of things I haven't thought about, and also make practical logical points about how he wants to use the room/what needs to be stored there/what I love that he can't stand etc which put a damper on my creativity. I take those into account and redo my plans in a way that we are both happy with. I then do most of the wallpaper/paint/tiles/shopping/contacting tradespeople etc, but he is charge of assembling flapjack furniture.

I know awful

We do it together because its OUR home.

I have an interest in interior design and DH wasn’t bothered so I’ve always taken the lead . However he likes what I choose and if he didn’t, I would go for something else. Do you like his style? If you don’t, then he needs to listen up!

No "let" involved. I tell DP what we're having down to the paint colour and then hand the decorating project over to him to buy the paint and do the work.

I will buy all the soft furnishings etc. He has no say in it as he has no interest. It took him 3 months to notice we had new bedroom curtains once and he has yet to notice the painting I hung in the bathroom weeks ago. I actually have a bet running with a friend who knows him well as to when he will actually notice it.

I don't get him involved otherwise we'd still have floral borders and dado rails

DH isn't interested, I just choose what I like, he says he would get used to it anyway

I’d have to divorce my husband if he picked our interiors. I allow him editing rights on purchases over 3k.

Is it just decor that he controls?

We negotiate. He has brought colour into my life; I brought soft furnishings into his. He is still not over the 15 tester shades of off white I once debated for weeks- before going and buying a totally random shade.... of off white.

Methinks the lady (man in this case) doth protest too much about the pink and frilly things.
Have you asked him why he has such a strong urge to surround himself with manly things? One might assume he is afraid of his feminine side.

Actually have you asked him why he's such a knob?

I do what I like.

DH is actually an architect and so does have some good ideas but mine are always better 😉

if we were to split I wouldn’t change the decor. He probably would, but not dramatically.

Let?!! This worries me. If you live together, you need equal say in these things (IF you both want that.) My dh isn't too bothered, but will give his input on big decisions when asked. I'm v conscious that he moved into my house which was my taste and always offer him choices, but I am very into it and have the ultimate say most of the time. Not everyone is as obsessive about interiors as me.

You clearly would like at least some say and are being given none. Going as far as to take back anything you buy that's deemed too feminine?! Wtf? I'd move out smartish, sod that.

Regardless of whose house it is on paper, and it may be both of yours anyway, it is your home as well as his! Who the hell does he think he is?!

I would be astonished if this rigid control of your environment didn't extend to other areas of your life. Even if it doesn't yet, this is a massive red flag.

BTW I have 3 blue rooms in my house and I am very much a feminine woman. Just saying.

Your user name sums up my house!

Same! DH has no interest anyway. It's a good job I do, or nothing would ever get done!

This is me too, my DH doesnt care. I'd quite like his input!

I wouldnt put up with him preventing my input though!

I have spoken to him about it and he says I need to speak up more but in reality when I do speak up he still thinks he knows best.
Also if anything I persuaded him to buy should possibly go wrong then I get I told you not to buy bla bla but you insisted and now look, why didn't you just listen to me?
But no he's not like that with my clothes.

Another one for ' let' um he certainly wouldn't try to stop me even of he wanted to.

Tbh he doesn't care , honestly not even a tiny bit. I re paint/ decorate regularly. Especially the lounge and kids rooms. Lounge gets a fresh coat every 18m often a slight color change.
I could do it in black and white polkadot or neon and he wouldn't care.

He's never changed what I've done. Never said he don't like it.

I run stuff past him and we agree on something. In the early days, his taste was rather suspect, and I had to work hard to find stuff we both liked. Over the years I’ve sort of trained him and his taste is now the same as mine.

He should at least compromise to find something you agree on too.

He sounds more and more of an arse hole every time you write.

He sounds like a controlling sexiest prick. What else doesn't he let you do? I'm assuming a huge backstory here.

For what it's worth none of the rooms in our house are blue or pink. We mostly decide together although I tend to get things like cushions / bedding without input.

Can you genuinely not see how completely fucked-up this is? You must, surely, understand that it’s not normal for a husband to simply not allow you to have anything that you like in your home? It’s horrifically controlling and I can’t believe you’re just passively accepting this. It’s awful.