Family holiday drama

[familydrama1]

So we are due to go on holiday next year with family. We invited my parents, they booked their own room - they then invited my nephew (who is 17). My brother didn't pay for my nephew or even offer to pay for their place.

I found out I was pregnant recently and can't book the baby's space until they are born. Also there will be no spaces as, the baby is due 4 months before the holiday. Anyone we trust with our child will be on that holiday. We need to take my nephew off the booking and change it to the baby when they are born.

AIBU to take my nephew off the booking (I have spoken to my parents about this and they understand) but I know my brother won't be happy and it will cause drama. Or should just not go and lose thousands 😣

Need an outside perspective pleaseeee

OP appears to have disappeared 🤔

Just remember to tell them they aren’t ACTUALLY coming or your woes will be compounded …

Book a room for your DH and another child who isn’t going to come (you could use one of your other nephews names), once baby is born change the child’s name to your babies.

You can’t just cancel on the nephew who is already booked to come, that is very unfair, it’s not his fault.

So your parents are only taking 1 of your brother's 3 children away as well? That seems a bit odd situation in itself!

It is unfortunate you cannot add an unborn baby to the booking to take a up a room now. That seems silly on the cruise company behalf. I'd maybe try to ask to speak to someone higher up and also post on their social media page about this policy as it seems incredibly stupid that you'd have to pull out a family holiday for a baby arrival at least 9 months away that can be resolved by adding to a booking and then add details once born. My frustration would be at the company not your nephew/brother.

As from what your saying regardless of whether nephew was booked or not. You still wouldn't be able to book an unborn child. So even if there was space in your parents room (if nephew wasn't booked originally) the company are saying you can't add on until they are born and there
may not be capacity on the ship to add them on.

So really it's the company policy not that fact your nephew is going that is the issue!

If I was your parents I would cancel and take my grandson on a different holiday. You could then have the two cabins with one adult in each.

they risk damaging their relationship with the 17 year old over this.

To summarise, OP is annoyed that her parents invited her nephew without asking and without her brother having to pay anything for it, whilst she has paid for half of their room, so she feels entitled to the nephew's space.

The cruise company have refused to allow her to book a space for her baby in advance of it being born. Even if she was to book another room in her name or her DH's name, the cruise company may not allow the addition of another child so late on as they may have reached their limit for children and babies.

The only real option is to amend the booking last minute once the baby has been born to change the booking from another child to the baby. So because OP is annoyed about nephew being invited, this is a convenient opportunity to replace nephew with the baby. All dressed up as 'AIBU to do so' when there is a totally valid option of adding another child on to the booking now, without telling that child, in order to switch them out once the baby is born. This however would mean booking an extra room, which negates OP's plan to invite her parents in the first place...

Comprehension fail ironic 🤣. OPs parents have paid for themselves and DN, which she stated. The fact the cruise was her idea doesnt mean she gets to dictate who her parents pay for or who they have in the room they paid for, but A for effort even if the comprehension was lacking.

Half or 1/4 of the room, the later from earlier posts when OP expected to be told she was right. OPs story is a bit inconsistent on the details.

To be honest this has all occurred because you booked a cruise and then fell pregnant. You could have taken precautions to not fall pregnant or if you expected it to be a possibility you could've waited to book a cruise. Yes I appreciate there is the chance you were taking proper precautions and it just happened but scientifically that's rare (it's hard to get pregnant even when trying without precautions). Even then, it's your problem noone else's.

Yes you paid half the room but you offered and chose that. You clearly didn't have to. Your parents were going to pay for theirs and did pay half. If sounds like your mum invited your nephew in front of you before it was booked. You could've spoken up then however awkward it was. You could've not offered to pay half or paid less than half their room because your nephew was going. But you didn't.

I don't think you have the right to now bump his place because of your life choices. If your mum hadn't invited your nephew you'd have had to cancel as you'd have no child place to bump for your baby. You're just now opportunistically using your nephew to solve a problem you created through becoming pregnant (which happens and is joyous but it isn't his fault) and because you're bitter at your brother paying nothing and in your view your nephew getting a free ride. But none of that is your nephews fault and personally I think if you now bump him you're awful and if your parents don't defend him they're awful too.

@familydrama1 rather cheeky of your mum to invite your nephew!

The baby will be four months old (if it arrives on its due date) at the time of the cruise, her OP says... until posters point out babies under 6 months aren't usually allowed on cruises, and then it magically became 6 months old at the time of the cruise!

If you’re currently pregnant and the new baby will be six months old then surely the currently 17yo nephew will be an 18yo adult by the time you go. There’s the extra adult.

I still dont get how OP was going to manage without her Parents booking a room? Even without the baby there are 5 of them and would have needed the second room.

To which I would add one of OP’s posts explains she made a face of protest to her DF when the mum invited the DN EVEN BEFORE the advent of the pregnancy. So the pregnancy is really a serendipitous way of standing in the way of something op has admitted she didn’t want in the first place even when she didn’t need the extra space. That strikes me as just mean-spirited snd a bit controlling and the pregnancy really followed on top if all that drama, rather than genuinely creating it.

Also isn’t the correct name for an individual allotted sleeping spot on a ship a “ berth?” Surprised I haven’t seen this being used on this thread and it would have made it easier to understand at the beginning when we were all thinking not enough physical space in the cabin for a baby to be added etc.
It would also have allowed some excellent thread titles, such as “ Birth Precipitates Berth Complications., or, better still, “Berths After Birth.” The real problem isn’t space, it’s not enough berths in the cabin - though they absolutely don’t want any more births in the cabin. That would really complicate everything.

A face of protest isn't saying something now is it. And a face of protest isn't not paying half, which was also an option.

The pregnancy created the need for a baby space. Without it she would be miffed at nephew coming despite knowing that, not telling her mum no, and still choosing to pay half.

I suspect you want the nephew off the booking, baby or no baby

No it isn’t, but it made me realise the objection is more deep-seated than just a pragmatic one.

Is the nephew suppose to be in your room? As this is where the baby will be. I really do not understand the issue, as babies are always going free and do not take a place of an adult, either on board the aircraft - as they are a lap baby, either in hotels or cruises, as they are sharing the room with parents. I really do not know what is the problem here.

It’s the numbers of berths per room.

Well, this thread has taken me a fair bit of time and annoyance to get through. It's is absolutely CHOC full of inconsistencies, drip feeds, and tbh what sounds like made up bullshit which has been changed to suit the OP's narrative when things aren't going her way. I.e. from the start and from approx 98% of replies

Firstly, unborn child miraculously jumped from going to be 4mth old to 6mth old when it was pointed out that cruises don't take 4mth old babies.

Nephew who is already 17, is miraculously going to be still 17 in a year's time.

Nephew (who will probably be 18) is going to be allowed to be swapped out for an infant as a "child" place. (17yo and 6mth olds are not categorised in the same bracket of "children" on a cruise ship).

OP originally stated she couldn't book another room because there was no extra adult (wtf!?!), when there are eleventy billion adults sailing in their party.

Two different people who are in the cruise ship industry as well as several prior travellers have stated that it is absolutely possible to add an unborn baby as a passenger and add the details after the birth, however apparently not on the OP's special cruise line.

The amount that the OP paid towards her parents' cabin has varied wildly as the thread has continued.

The OP is pissed that her DM invites her grandson on her holiday, but also invited her own parents on the holiday that had been organised her her PIL 😂 pot kettle.

OP has in one of her most recent posts, admitted that from the moment her DM invited the nephew, she was unhappy about it - it would seem that her now being pregnant has finally given her the excuse she wanted to try to kick her poor nephew off the holiday and came to Mumsnet looking for validation that she was doing the right thing. Which, btw OP you are absolutely not.

I really hope the OP's parents pull out of the whole thing given that they're going to be put in the position of not only disappointing their grandson, but (if it's to be believed), being "kicked off at" by their son whom they are scared of. Then the OP will have no choice but to book another room - in which case the cruise line will no doubt miraculously change their policy on allowing unborn babies to be booked in advance and their details updated when they are known. 🥱

In an update OP has now made it very clear that she has paid for over half of parents room. She has also said that her parents understand her position. So seemingly all the people who were paying for the room in anyway are part of the decision.

Oh no! Now over half?!

How come only 1 of your brothers kids is going? Aware this is not the point if this thread. But what about the other 2?