Family holiday drama

[familydrama1]

So we are due to go on holiday next year with family. We invited my parents, they booked their own room - they then invited my nephew (who is 17). My brother didn't pay for my nephew or even offer to pay for their place.

I found out I was pregnant recently and can't book the baby's space until they are born. Also there will be no spaces as, the baby is due 4 months before the holiday. Anyone we trust with our child will be on that holiday. We need to take my nephew off the booking and change it to the baby when they are born.

AIBU to take my nephew off the booking (I have spoken to my parents about this and they understand) but I know my brother won't be happy and it will cause drama. Or should just not go and lose thousands 😣

Need an outside perspective pleaseeee

I’m sure they can afford to pay for their cabin in a years time, it’s the op who didn’t want to pay for a full extra room.

You invited your parents to join your holiday and they've invited another family member without talking to you or your in laws. That is just rude

😂

She said she paid for her daughter and that her parents paid for themselves and the nephew so she isn't paying for half the cabin. They also haven't refused to reimburse, you're just assuming they won't.

If I were them I'd give them the money back for whatever they paid for the daughter and still go on holiday myself, I wouldn't want to miss out on a holiday just because my daughter got pregnant again and didn't want to pay for another room.

You can book another cabin for dh which means you can accommodate your family of 6, or you cancel. These are your only two option.

Honestly I don't think it's a good idea to take such a young baby on a cruise anyway, but please DO NOT try and sneak a 4 month old on board. There are good reasons for the age limits at sea.

I can fully understand why your parents invited their other grandchild and you have absolutely no right to turf him out because you're pregnant. Whatever your issues with your brother, your nephew is not to blame.

And go on holiday with your daughter’s husband’s parents? I wouldn’t. I’d feel bloody awkward. I’d say, sorry nephew, we thought we had a spare bed, but we don’t. Next time.

I have a feeling the PIL have booked a cabin for 2, as far away as possible from the rest of the family 😂

Why's it awkward? They have seperate cabins, they don't need to holiday together if they see each other they can say hi etc. They are on the same cruise ship it doesn't have to be anymore than that.

What if they are really looking forward to it? Why should they miss out?

Anyway, all that needs to happen is the OP and her DH book another room just like they were going too, problem sorted.

My DM and DMIL used to go on holiday together a lot, without us!
They became great friends because of us.

She hasn't paid half their cabin, she's paid something towards it. And they can still go and pay the rest

What? They do have a spare bed, the baby didn't exist at time of booking and invitation. That bed is nephews, they can't bump him for a new baby just because mum is too tight to pay for another cabin.

That’s lovely! My MiL is very different from my own mother. Chalk and cheese. MiL is a non-graduate lady who lunches. Never worked. Lots of tennis. Hates anything cultural or serious. She’s fun, vivacious even, but a bit vacuous and very judgemental. My mother has always worked, reads a lot, plays music to a high standard and is more comfortable with dogs than people. They haven’t seen each other since our children were christened - something that my MiL disapproved of, but which my mother would never have considered optional.

They can do whatever they choose. The OP is going to have to decide how to navigate it.

I don't understand the issue here...

Book an extra cabin, have your DH and DN assigned to it.

Leaving your parents in another room and you in the 3rd room.

Add the baby to DH and DN room when you can.

Ask DN parents for a contribution of you must.

This is all drama about nothing.

WTF

You can't be serious. OP didn't even invite the nephew; her guests did!

@familydrama1 why did you think your mum needed your permission to invite your nephew?

it would be different if they were staying on accommodation you paid for. It’s an odd way of looking at it and seems incredibly controlling and mean.

Why would you move the nephew?? He has a space, paid for by his grandparents, in their room!

We invited my parents, they booked their own room - they then invited my nephew (who is 17). My brother didn't pay for my nephew or even offer to pay for their place.

Sorry if this has already been covered, but who is paying for the nephew?

I have read all your updates OP.

You need to book another cabin/suite (put your husband in it with one of the children and then when the baby is born there will be space and you can add the baby to the booking).

You need to do it soon as you say the spaces are filling up. It will cost you more than you had wanted but probably better than losing thousands as you have stated you will if you cancel.

These are you only 2 options. Pay for another cabin/suite or cancel. It would be wholly wrong to have your parents disinvite their grandson.

I believe the grandparents did. And he's staying in their room with them.

Which cruise? That many children plus a tiny baby, I’d like to avoid it.

They absolutely won't add a 5th person to a 4 berth cabin regardless of the person's age and size.

Ships aren't like hotels, headcount really matters. For life jackets, lifeboat spaces etc.

Guests? that suggests she's hosting something. When in fact they've paid for themselves and are kindly having one of her children in with them. Its not up to her to nump nephew for one of hers.

I have spoken to the cruise line they said we CANNOT add the baby. If we booked another room. We would need another adult - which we don't have.

Why cant your DH be booked in the other room with the baby? thats another adult. Then you could give the single room to nephew, put one of your older childre in your parents room with them and keep the baby with you? Expensive yes but then you wouldnt be letting DN down. Your parents may financially help by giving you the 50% of their room back that you paid, as they invited DN.

so if your mum and dad in with your daughter and nephew, you and your husband with your two other children, why cant you book another cabin for you and baby and husband and two kids stay in original cabin

Can someone explain to me why all the focus is on the cabin to be occupied by the Op's parents? The husband's family is also on the cruise so why can't the as yet unborn baby be added to the husband's family's booking? The baby will, of course, actually sleep with the Op.