Family holiday drama

[familydrama1]

So we are due to go on holiday next year with family. We invited my parents, they booked their own room - they then invited my nephew (who is 17). My brother didn't pay for my nephew or even offer to pay for their place.

I found out I was pregnant recently and can't book the baby's space until they are born. Also there will be no spaces as, the baby is due 4 months before the holiday. Anyone we trust with our child will be on that holiday. We need to take my nephew off the booking and change it to the baby when they are born.

AIBU to take my nephew off the booking (I have spoken to my parents about this and they understand) but I know my brother won't be happy and it will cause drama. Or should just not go and lose thousands 😣

Need an outside perspective pleaseeee

But baby will be in your cabin ...they'll just add a travel cot ?
Your nephew will be in his booked room
And your parents in theirs
You don't need another room

@HelpmyDCbecomefinanciallysavvy

Oh mine are 12 and 14 and I couldn't leave them in a room it would be a right state.

Just stay at home with the newborn and let everyone else go at this point. Less hassle and easier 🥴😂
I can't even begin to dream of taking my 3 ds' on a plane at their ages at the moment, never mind a whole cruise.. we're happy campers at the moment 🤣😂

No it turns out she’s got other children too.

Again more lies. At no point have you said you paid towards your parents room. You're just moving the goalposts to fir your narrative. Wtf does it matter who paid for your nephew, someone did and it wasn't you. You can't expect your parents to pick between grandchildren, one who isn't even born and one they've promised a holiday to and paid for. Get a grip. This whole post reeks of lies.

She already has 4 in the cabin, which is maximum capacity. OP needs to book another cabin and put her husband and a kid in it or upgrade to a suite with a larger capacity, accepting that if you have 4 kids you need to pay for more than 1.5 rooms.

So if the issue is that your nephew was invited by your mum and nobody has paid for him, and now it means there is no space for your family… maybe you need to book an extra room - take back the half you have paid of your parents’ cabin, and use it towards that. I can’t believe your brother isn’t paying towards the nephew costs?? Who is actually paying for him?

Well, your brother an also it getting childcare support on a holiday for free. In fact, he’s not even going on the holiday. If your parents decided to INVITE your nephew along that’s their prerogative and choice. You’re not obliged to pay for your child’s board when someone else invites them along on a holiday! Unless it’s phrased like that from the start - “would your child like to join this holiday, it’ll cost x amount”. That doesn’t seem to be the case here.

You can't boot your nephew off of the trip, but I suspect you are going to, regardless of what anyone else says on here!

She cannot do this. Her parents booked and paid for their own room (cabin?) and added her nephew. The booking is in their name. Only they can change it.

PILs are probably keeping well out of it because they, understandably, don't want one of op's under 6yos dumped on them.

On your point No. 4 - we have cruised several times and always booked two cabins - one in my name and one in my husband’s name. One of my children was assigned to one room and the other to the other room. The cabins were booked side by side and interconnecting. While on the cruise - my husband and myself slept in one cabin and the three children were in the other cabin.

There was nothing for the cabin Stewart’s to notice or report. There was no issue with billing. All the OP needs to do is do the same - book one cabin in her name and one in her DH’s and decide themselves who is going to sleep where.

Even if people from different families are assigned to a cabin such as with the OP - grandparents and grandchildren in one cabin - or they are ultimately mixed from booking - the lead guest/whatever payment card is connected to the cabin will pay all charges and they can then sort out reimbursement from others.

The question is - are you paying exactly HALF of your parent’s cabin? In which case you get to decide who stays in two of the beds (assuming it has four beds in total). If you’re only paying “something towards it” then you’re not entitled to decide who gets to go in it.

Also, depending on the age and health of your parents, they may prefer having a 17-year old with them who can help out rather than being let to look after two under 6’s.

@Mysinglepringle she did say she paid some money

No one asked if he could come, and my parents paid for him. My daughter is in the room with my parents too and we paid for her. They are all sharing a room together

Poor lad, being told he's going on a holiday and then booted out because his auntie had a baby! That's cruel. What is also cruel is taking a 4 month old baby on such a big trip but that's just my opinion. At 4 months we were still establishing a routine

And also op has said she can't book another room due to no capacity.

She does because her and her husband already have 2 kids in with them. 3rd kid is in with grandparents and nephew. Unborn baby needs to go in her room so she wants to boot the nephew out so she can shove another of her kids in with grandma and grandad (which she thinks she's entitled to do).

Normally a babe in arms does not require a whole bed, but clearly, if you can’t go, your parents can’t go, so the whole thing gets called off. It’s disappointing for your nephew, but one of those things.

The grandparents paid for their grandson. Probably didn't want him to miss out. What's wrong with that?

Why can't the parents go if she can't go?

You said your parents paid for themselves and nephew, and you paid for your DC, now you've suddenly paid for half the room, because that makes you sound so much more reasonable then kicking out your nephew and taking the spot his grandparents paid for, for your child. Which they only paid for because theyre scared of DB reaction, oh but they're fine with telling him they're kicking his DS off the holiday now. I don't think your DB is the unreasonable entitled one they're trying appease here.

Because she’s paying for half their cabin, so that they can join a family holiday with his parents and extended family. It would be odd if they refused to reimburse the 50% and went on holiday with their daughter’s in-laws and their own nephew, while the OP and her husband stayed at home.

You have chosen to have another baby therefore you deal with the consequences, no one else!
Not many things are geared to families with 3+ kids (we have 5) and that's just something that goes with the territory. Pushing your nephew out because of YOUR choice is cruel

Presumably your DN will be sharing a cabin with his grandparents? You didn't book him on, and nor did you pay for him. He's the grandparents issue. He can't have a cabin of his own, as he's under 18. And the baby will be in with you.

I honestly can't see the issue.

No she said there was no capacity to add someone to the existing rooms and only suites were available now. AKA she doesn't want to pay for a more expensive room and would rather kick her nephew off the holiday.

Why can’t her parents and nephew go without them? Might actually be a holiday for them and less providing childcare.

And OP maybe your parents came to a deal with brother whereby nephew gets paid board and holiday lodgings in return for providing childcare. He’s presumably going to be doing a minimum of 10 hours a day in cabin minding your sleeping child / putting them to bed / getting them up plus more during the day I imagine. Nothing is for free!

Firstly, congratulations on your pregnancy.
Secondly - I get it. You invited your parents to join your holiday and they've invited another family member without talking to you or your in laws. That is just rude.
You can't ask the nephew not to come as you didn't pay for him and your parents have accommodated one of your children.

Is there any chance your in-laws could have the baby in their room ( just for booking) you could then put it in yours. Or talk to your parents. Can they pay for the whole of their room so you can get another one or upgrade?

The other thing to do is contact the companies customer services and ask if you can have first refusal if there are any cancellations (as you've said they are quite full)

It's a long way off and if you haven't got insurance cover anyway I would just wait. Sometimes life has a funny way of sorting things out.

Hope it all goes well.