Family holiday drama

[familydrama1]

So we are due to go on holiday next year with family. We invited my parents, they booked their own room - they then invited my nephew (who is 17). My brother didn't pay for my nephew or even offer to pay for their place.

I found out I was pregnant recently and can't book the baby's space until they are born. Also there will be no spaces as, the baby is due 4 months before the holiday. Anyone we trust with our child will be on that holiday. We need to take my nephew off the booking and change it to the baby when they are born.

AIBU to take my nephew off the booking (I have spoken to my parents about this and they understand) but I know my brother won't be happy and it will cause drama. Or should just not go and lose thousands 😣

Need an outside perspective pleaseeee

Because its not their fault shes got pregnant. Their baby isn't everyone else's priority

Talk to your nephew, he'll understand. Tbh why does he want to cruise with you all? Tell him you'll take him on a diff holiday where it'll be more fun for him (don't get me wrong, we cruise all the time. My kids from being teens love it, but at 17 he's at a difficult age - no alcohol its typically 21yo (American rules) and likely only a small number his age on board and they won't be permitted in the club or for over 18 shows.

The alternative is to book another cabin. I don't know how many are in each cabin now but if more than 2, the extra cost won't be huge. I'd be tapping my DB for the cost of his child though!

btw, your DB sounds like a nightmare dream! His reaction is his responsibility.

Or maybe OP should get used to the idea that having another child will come with extra costs/challenges and the reality is that lots of cars, hotel rooms, restuarant tables etc are set up for 2+2 and adjust accordingly? Having a family of 5 is lovely but none of this should be a suprise.

Many people don't get how cruise hips work with occupancy and how you can't just see baby will sit on my laps etc.

One option is to book another room now in another adults name if you can afford it and then when baby is born add the baby to that room or move things around as required.

Alternative will be to drop nephew which wouldn't be my first choice given he has already been invited. Can you see if your parents can split the cost of a new room if you're unable to afford it alone?

Going to be a lone voice here. Kick nephew out. You'll be doing him a favour. Why would a 17yo boy want to holiday in a crèche?

But it's her trip so while I grow for nephew he doesn't have priority over her children. She booked the trip and paid for it and nephew wasn't part of the original plans.

Now it I could afford it I would book another room under one of the adults name so removing nephew is the last resort but with would she drop her child for nephew? How does that even make sense?

Baby may not be their priority but OP booked and paid for the trip not nephew's parents or grandparents so yes OP and her kids come first.

I’ve cancelled cruises before now and the cruise company has allowed me to transfer the full deposit to another cruise. Why not do this?

Check with the cruise line that they’ll accept a 4 month old on a cruise - most that sail out of the UK say 6 months minimum, or 12 mo this if there are more than 3 consecutive sea days!!

If they won’t, they will usually offer a free transfer or a full refund without losing the deposit for the occupants in the same cabin as the baby!

This is a good option and well but the issue still remains, will they book an extra room or book a bigger room which will add to the cost or drop nephew. Just moving it to a new cruise doesn't solve the room occupancy issue.

Having said that I would probably move it because I doubt I want to go on a cruise with a 4-6 month old baby.

Surely the other adult would be your husband or you? Problem solved. I agree post is bs

Do you mean if they book a new room for her husband?

Could you ask every cruise ship guest to move up by one room number? This would free up another room for baby.

You can book a separate room for your husband now and add baby when they are born, that seems easy, then you and your husband split the rooms with one of you in each and kids, but if the cost is prohibitive it’s also ok to uninvite the nephew and have your holiday.

@Ilovelifeverymuch

OP has not paid for her nephew or her parents.

No its not her trip. She doesn't own the other family members holidays. Lol yes The parents have paid for themselves and nephew, they have been gracious enough to accept one of her children in their room. Now she wants another of her children in their and to bump nephew. Not acceptable.

Yes she says if we booked another room.

I thought holiday nannies got their accommodation paid for?

I can’t imagine taking a baby on a cruise. I wouldn’t be thrilled to be in the next door cabin either. I would reschedule for a completely different cruise a year or even two later.

Thanks for clarifying and @sweeneytoddsrazor for some reason I read it as she booked and paid for her parents as well.

In that case then they are entitled to invite the nephew if they choose and OP shouldn't be pushing for him to be dropped. Because this means if her parents were not coming she would have the same occupancy issue with the new baby anyway.

And as I said in a previous post I wouldn't even be going on a cruise with a 4 - 6 month old baby so I will ask the cruise to give cruise credit to use on a future cruise and grandparents can choose to continue with their trip or also push it.

Grandparents paid for their own room not OP therefore they get to choose who stays in said room and they chose 17th at old grandson.

Your parents, nephew and your child one room.
You, husband, child and baby other room.
I don't see the issue no more then 4 per room ?
Hotel rooms do not count infant as extra person in room so can have 2a + 2c + baby ( but not 2a+3c) This could be different for ship.

She’s already got 3 kids and is expecting no4. With her parents and nephew that makes 9 people.

OP wil have 4 child when baby is born so no where for baby to go. They need to book another room and OP and DH will have to go in separate rooms with 2 children each.

From the OP parents point of view if the nephew doesn't come and the baby goes in there then they have covered half the cost of a very expensive holiday for their daughter. They may well then feel they need to do the same for their sons family.

That works, I believe, so long as they book one child into left luggage for the cruise duration.