I don't care what issues your kid has you still need to parent them

[Differentstarts]

I'm fuming just had a massive argument with my now ex friend because she won't parent her kid. I don't care if your kid is ND, NT or identifies as a tablecloth you still need to parent them. I was at my friends this afternoon with my kids 7 and 4 and her kids 9 and 5. Our eldest kids where sat together nicely watching a film and youngest 2 where playing. Her 5 year old suddenly decides she wants to watch telly and picks the remote control up and changes the channel. My friends response was to the eldest 2 just let her otherwise she will kick off you can watch the rest later. Her eldest just accepted this he's clearly use to it. However I'm not accepting that so I took the remote and put the film back on so with that screaming and tears
Her eldest was agreeing with his mum and saying it's OK I don't mind Which was also annoying me. Then my friend started having a go at me how iv upset her daughter and how the kids didn't even mind watching it later. I struggle with anger issues so at this point I'm losing my shit at her (I know I shouldn't have) and I got my kids and left. I'm still fuming. I know I should of just left straight away but come on what is wrong with people

Yabu. If the eldest 2 where happy to watch it later you should of gone along with it
Yanbu she needs to discipline her daughter

But one wrong is a child and one an adult.

So a (possibly neurodiverse) 5 year old losing their shit is somehow unacceptable and bad parenting.

But you freely admit you "struggle with anger issues" and "lose [your] shit" as a full grown adult.

Should your parents have parented you better?

I agree that lots of children take a backseat to their siblings for one reason or another, and it's not fair.

But you are in the wrong here and owe your friend an apology.

@Bex5490 I'm aware. And the op fighting fire with fire was a dick move.

Op is the adult. There were better ways to handle it.

Soooooo, only people who think you are RIGHT, (like you do,) are 'normal' are they?

Riiiiiiiight...

😂

People do it for an easy life without realising they are raising a self entitled little brat

Left and never spoken to her again

How very mature! Keep on with the therapy OP. You definitely need it.

I do yes

Virtually everyone is agreeing OP that the mum should've stepped up. But we all disagree that losing your shit is an appropriate response. Kids are triggering. Other people's parenting also. Maybe no more playdates full stop?

You can’t have been real friends in the first place. I can’t imagine making a friend who maybe struggling with parenting a difficult child and still chose to invite me round feel worse.

Have you ever offered support? Bet not. Just judgement.

It’s this kind of attitude that makes being a mum the hardest job in the world. Always someone to judge regardless of how you parent.

But it wouldn't have had to get that far if she had just told her daughter no

Like OP?

Well, go & get help- more counselling/ better counselling, whatever- because you seriously need it. Is being self-centred, blinkered & arrogant part of bpd, or is that just you? Genuine question, I have no knowledge of the condition.

@Differentstarts
I honestly think If she speaks to you again you will be lucky.
I think it's a bit trivial to end a friendship over but I'm guessing you don't care and most likely weren't a good friend anyway.

I suspected that.
Good to see my radar is still working.
You have problems regulating your own emotions, yet you bitch about a five year old who can't regulate hers. You insist your "diagnosis" of the child as a "spoilt (sic) brat" is more accurare than the mother's perception that she is ND. You think anyone who disagrees with you isn't "normal" while by your own admission you could hardly be considered normal yourself. You ignore any advice that does not flatter your narcissistic belief that you are all knowing, always correct, and your behavior is always justified.
That's BPD all the way. I'm betting your friend found dealing with you even more exhausting than the five year old.
I hope the therapy helps, but cluster b personality disorders are notoriously hard to treat. Look, it's not your fault that you have a personality disorder, but you need to try to gain some self awareness and empathy for others.

I honestly don't remember I never do when I act like that but it usually involves a lot of shouting, swearing and threats

Out of curiosity did you apologise to your children when you got home OP and explain to them that their mums behaviour was unacceptable?

Never spoken to her again?! If you willingly throw away friendships in such a histrionic fashion, I think you are setting a frightful example for your children.

<hands op even bigger spoon>

Yes it is. People with BPD tend to be narcissistic and emotionally volatile.

Yes the adult being my ex friend she was wrong

So other than to goad what were you hoping for from this thread op?

You are not in a position to judge, you behaved disgracefully, you lost your temper in front of children in someone else's home.
I think your friend is better off without you, your behaviour was disgusting and she should not have her children witness it. You lack control and the ability to think rationally. I would have shown you the door and told you never to come back.
You asked for posters opinions, we are giving them to you, but you are irrationally annoyed that people disagree with you. You also cannot work out that your behaviour was wrong.
Rather than criticising your friend look at your own parenting and how badly you behave and do something about it.

IKR. She admits to making threats when she gets angry. She's lucky the mom didn't call the police FFS.