I don't care what issues your kid has you still need to parent them

[Differentstarts]

I'm fuming just had a massive argument with my now ex friend because she won't parent her kid. I don't care if your kid is ND, NT or identifies as a tablecloth you still need to parent them. I was at my friends this afternoon with my kids 7 and 4 and her kids 9 and 5. Our eldest kids where sat together nicely watching a film and youngest 2 where playing. Her 5 year old suddenly decides she wants to watch telly and picks the remote control up and changes the channel. My friends response was to the eldest 2 just let her otherwise she will kick off you can watch the rest later. Her eldest just accepted this he's clearly use to it. However I'm not accepting that so I took the remote and put the film back on so with that screaming and tears
Her eldest was agreeing with his mum and saying it's OK I don't mind Which was also annoying me. Then my friend started having a go at me how iv upset her daughter and how the kids didn't even mind watching it later. I struggle with anger issues so at this point I'm losing my shit at her (I know I shouldn't have) and I got my kids and left. I'm still fuming. I know I should of just left straight away but come on what is wrong with people

Yabu. If the eldest 2 where happy to watch it later you should of gone along with it
Yanbu she needs to discipline her daughter

A lot of lazy parenting showing on this thread Op has her child actually been diagnosed with ND or any other disability ? I found lots of parents say their kids have this and that just to justify their DC behaviour.

I stuck up for the other kids as she clearly wasn't going to. The bottom line is if you don't discipline your kids others will

The arrogance and entitlement. I’d never ever assume to do this. Imagine if we all went round doing this.

Yup.

Well "Mummy's little Princess" is likely to turn out just like OP I'd say.

I think everyone agrees that your friend was not correct….. however your reaction was inappropriate. Rude in someone’s else’s home.

It’s a very long journey of tiny bits of progress based on what they’re able to manage as they continue to develop.

No I don't think people should make allowances for me because of my condition

Got it in one post

Nope, no diagnosis just no discipline

She's not in charge of mistreating my kid just because it's her house

Mistreating your kid because he didn't get to finish a movie? Seriously?

This thread is like a game of bingo

Because it comes with age. Of course it does. The more they understand the easier it is.

And they learn to take themselves away from situations that cause stress.

You lost your shit in front of your children. You aren't in a position to criticise her parenting

Do you have a diagnosis?

I have no issue with how the child acted my issue is how the mum handled it or more to the point didn't

Did you try using your words with the other parent, before you grabbed the remote control, and lost your shit' @Differentstarts ?

But can you not see that the way you handled the entire situation in front of all four children was infinitely worse than anything anyone else in the room did at the time? You don’t right a wrong by overreacting and exacerbating a situation. I think you need to accept that your judgement is severely off kilter atm and you have drowned any valid criticism in a torrent of over the top behaviour.

This!

It seems to me that you wanted the gratification of seeing the child berated by her parent in front of you. When dealing with more difficult children (and, yes!, many ND children. I'm not sure about tablecloths!) that approach is unsuccessful and will inflame the situation. It's better for the parent to wait for a calm moment after the event and talk through the incident with the child.

Presumably the child's parent knows them best and is parenting according to their needs.

I'd say with the audience of visitors it's highly likely the child would kick-off even more if put on the spot in the heat of the moment, so mum was wise to leave it until later in a more receptive moment.

@Differentstarts Regardless of your friend’s parenting, do you think YOUR parenting was good in that moment?

I'm not judging the kid I'm judging my friend

What did you actually do when you lost your shit?

Turning the film back on is absolutely fine!

Well, you clearly do or you wouldn’t have posted this on AIBU while mentioning your rage issues.
You strike me as someone who has a fundamental belief in their own rightness, who can do no wrong, and who explodes when challenged. It’s a toxic mix and if you’re responding that way to a 5 year old changing the channel - neurodiverse or not - I would be seriously looking for help. Parents deal with these sorts of clashes all day every day without exploding.

I think the old phrase 'two wrongs don't make a right' is pretty applicable here, ND or no ND.

Left and never spoken to her again

It very much is! It’s akin to those people who say, “ I don’t care if they’re black, white or purple with yellow spots.”