I don't care what issues your kid has you still need to parent them

[Differentstarts]

I'm fuming just had a massive argument with my now ex friend because she won't parent her kid. I don't care if your kid is ND, NT or identifies as a tablecloth you still need to parent them. I was at my friends this afternoon with my kids 7 and 4 and her kids 9 and 5. Our eldest kids where sat together nicely watching a film and youngest 2 where playing. Her 5 year old suddenly decides she wants to watch telly and picks the remote control up and changes the channel. My friends response was to the eldest 2 just let her otherwise she will kick off you can watch the rest later. Her eldest just accepted this he's clearly use to it. However I'm not accepting that so I took the remote and put the film back on so with that screaming and tears
Her eldest was agreeing with his mum and saying it's OK I don't mind Which was also annoying me. Then my friend started having a go at me how iv upset her daughter and how the kids didn't even mind watching it later. I struggle with anger issues so at this point I'm losing my shit at her (I know I shouldn't have) and I got my kids and left. I'm still fuming. I know I should of just left straight away but come on what is wrong with people

Yabu. If the eldest 2 where happy to watch it later you should of gone along with it
Yanbu she needs to discipline her daughter

I don't want her to speak to me again until she learns how to parent properly

If that had happened at your house, you would have been reasonable to have taken the remote - but in her own house, you behaved badly. Throwing a tantrum - that was a good example to set!

Do you think your behaviour (likely involving shouting, swearing and threats in front of small children) was worse than your ex-friend’s, better, or on a par with it?

And her mother is doing her best to accommodate her extra needs! Like your colleagues do when you psycho susie turns up! I guarantee you people are making allowances for your extra needs! If somebody behaved how you did in my house... you'd of been in for the shock of ya life lol 😂

Do you work in nhs mental health services you sound like you do

Wow, you need to look in the mirror if you think parenting properly involves shouting, swearing and threats.

Thanks.

No the arrogance and delusional behaviour is very common with bpd unfortunately

I'm so bloody glad I didn't have friends with kids. This would've driven me mad

Lol. So she’s meant to parent her kid with additional neees the way you say, but you can behave how you like because you have anger issues?
Maybe you learn to control yourself first.

No they don't, do you work for the nhs by any chance.

Thanks

I think this poster is irrational and ignorant, no amount of telling her is going to make any difference. She is a dreadful example to her children.
I think she is also having ago about her friend to deflect from her own shocking parenting and behaviour

Completely your prerogative to believe that. This actually explains why you blew. It tells me you've had issues with your friend and child for a while.

It still is not okay for you to behave as you did in her home. And as I said before, something to discuss in counselling. You mentioned having bpd. Again, not an excuse to behave as you did and not a justification. When was the last time your meds were assessed? You also said you have been in therapy most if your life. Are you in therapy now? If not time to return.

I honestly don't remember I never do when I act like that but it usually involves a lot of shouting, swearing and threats

In front of your children? And her children?

I don't understand how you seem to be minimising your behaviour here.

How frightening or at least very unsettling for the kids to see someone shouting, swearing and threatening. Especially over a tv channel.

Yes, OP lost any sympathy from me at this point.

They don't the only people who think this work in mh services and hate people with bpd

I know allday it's pathetic. Your poor friend, still hopefully she has escaped you now.

He shouldn't, but that's not something you can fix - certainly not in her house. In your house, switching the TV back would have been fine.

Nope my sons father is diagnosed with bpd awful awful person. Delusional arrogant unhinged, quick temper has even landed him a spell in jail.

I don't think neurodiverse children are tablecloths I'm saying no matter who your child is they need to be parented

Not everyone with bpd is the same

OP, it seems very triggering to you to think the other parent is playing favourites. You are massively overplaying how severe what she did is. Partly, as many have explained, she may be stricter with her younger child when nobody else is there. Partly, being able to watch a movie all the way through is really not a big deal. Kids actually benefit from learning to be flexible and realize that watching a movie is not that important or worth kicking up a stink about.

Think about it. The other parent's 'huge sin' was breaking off a movie for two kids, without them being consulted. But you have submitted all four kids to an aggressive conflict, and you have broken off their friendships, without consulting any of them, as they obviously won't be getting any playdates with these kids anymore. Which is worse? Truncating a movie watching, or cutting their friendships off? Which do you hink will be a horrid memory for them? Losing a movie, ordering their mum yell and losing their friends?

No but those traits are common

Are you sure or are you just a spoilt brat?

Only half joking. It's just that the irony in your posts is amusing.

You find the child annoying for doing something you clearly also do. You say she may be ND according to her mum but she's likely just a spoilt brat according to you. However, you have your own excuse for your behaviour just like her mum does. So what does that make you?

You can't see that you lost the high ground when your life seems to be parallel to this child's that you're clearly annoyed by. Perhaps your personalities clash too much because you're too alike. Haha