I don't care what issues your kid has you still need to parent them

[Differentstarts]

I'm fuming just had a massive argument with my now ex friend because she won't parent her kid. I don't care if your kid is ND, NT or identifies as a tablecloth you still need to parent them. I was at my friends this afternoon with my kids 7 and 4 and her kids 9 and 5. Our eldest kids where sat together nicely watching a film and youngest 2 where playing. Her 5 year old suddenly decides she wants to watch telly and picks the remote control up and changes the channel. My friends response was to the eldest 2 just let her otherwise she will kick off you can watch the rest later. Her eldest just accepted this he's clearly use to it. However I'm not accepting that so I took the remote and put the film back on so with that screaming and tears
Her eldest was agreeing with his mum and saying it's OK I don't mind Which was also annoying me. Then my friend started having a go at me how iv upset her daughter and how the kids didn't even mind watching it later. I struggle with anger issues so at this point I'm losing my shit at her (I know I shouldn't have) and I got my kids and left. I'm still fuming. I know I should of just left straight away but come on what is wrong with people

Yabu. If the eldest 2 where happy to watch it later you should of gone along with it
Yanbu she needs to discipline her daughter

I stuck up for the other kids as she clearly wasn't going to. The bottom line is if you don't discipline your kids others will

Erm . . . isn't it your friend's house ?

You sound like you have trouble regulating your emotions.
I wouldn’t want you around my children.
Your angry outburst will have been more damaging to your child than having the channel changed.
I know adults who have been severely affected by big displays of rage from their parents when they were young.

Thats not how I read the OP

OP shouldnt have acted that way in someone elses home (taking the remote from the daughter), but I wouldnt want my kids exposed to selfishness and would have made an excuse to leave and explained to them that this is not how we act towards each other

Wasnt right you caused a scene but you are right about parenting the child.

Hi OP, you seem to lack any appreciation or insight into the needs of children with special needs who may require a different type of parenting according to their needs.
And it was completely wrong for you to take the remote control out of child's hand! You owe your friend an apology

The older children are obviously more mature than you an adult woman.🙄🤔

'I don't care if your kid is ND, NT or identifies as a tablecloth' this makes it sound like you believe ND is some made up rubbish.

If you carry on behaving like you did at your friends house today, your own DC will grow up pretty messed up and likely no contact with you. So maybe focus on your own parenting and start a thread on that. People in glass houses..

Wow. You were so out of line. At least you admit to having anger issues. I applaud you for self-awareness. Please take the next step and seek counselling. I also suggest you message your friend a simple apology, and I say message so that you don't lapse into justifying your behaviour. A simple, I am so sorry for my behaviour, would suffice.

I'm not apologising she should be apologising to the 2 eldest children for not sticking up for them

I have no issue with disciplining other peoples kids or others doing so to mine, but discipline doesn’t mean ‘kicking off’. You can do it with kindness and respect which is not what you did at all. You sound like you acted like a bully.

An ND adult can usually manage to some extent their emotions and overwhelm.

An ND child can’t. This is the difference.

Mine was a hard ND child and is an utterly lovely adult. What changed? She grew up,

YABU

You're at her house, she's in charge.

If she and her kids are annoying to be around then just see less of them - or meet them at the park, where it's neutral territory and you can make your excuses and wrap things up when you've had enough.

Not the right thing - at all - for you to lose your cool and boot off.

You should not have behaved in such a manner… there not excuse.

Im sure she will also be happy to have you out of her life too.

If you don’t want to continue with the friendship that’s fair enough but as others have pointed out, I personally think your friend deserves an apology for how you behaved in her house. YABU

Oh another one who thinks they're NBU regardless of what anyone says.

It wasn't your house.

The child might be ND but it's not for you to make parenting decisions.

You're an adult - get a grip on your behaviour and your anger issues.

I don't believe it's some made up rubbish but I believe her daughters behaviour is purely to do with being a spoilt brat and nothing more

Her house her rules

Yes! It's driving me mental!

No others won't, it's none of their fucking business.

OP - you appear to have very inflexible, black and white opinions and extreme difficulty regulating your emotions. Any views on what might have caused your issues?

I stuck up for the other kids as she clearly wasn't going to. The bottom line is if you don't discipline your kids others will

You didn't discipline.

You made it all about you. Your feelings, your thoughts, your anger . You couldn't stand it anymore. You couldn't handle it anymore. The way it made you feel.

So you threw a temper tantrum, like an overwhelmed toddler.

That is not discipline.

You had a temper tantrum because you didn't agree with another mum's parenting decision made in her own house?

Honestly, that sounds like the bigger issue here.

So what? It’s not your family and none of your business.

Her house, her rules. Picking up the remote and just changing it back was incredibly rude and stemmed from your completely negative judgement of her parenting. Losing your shit in front of kids is prettt shit parenting too. Who is worse? The parent who is overly passive or overly aggressive?

You are not her friend. I doubt she will forgive you for this. I wouldn’t.

Where does it say the child is ND of any sort (which is a wide range of disorders anyway, meaningless keep saying someone is ND)