Can’t make a decision on taking his name

[PoptartBarry]

Name change for this one (ha!)

I am getting married in one week and I still can’t make up my mind about changing my name. It’s driving me a bit mad so I want your opinions.

Have any of you changed your name and regretted it? Have any of you regretted NOT changing your name?

My surname is ‘foreign’ to English speakers, long and tricky for English speakers to pronounce so I’m not considering a double barrel. It would be too much!

Does anyone keep their maiden name at work and use their ‘married’ name in their private life? How do you feel about it now?

YABU = stop overthinking and change the name!

YANBU = no way, keep your own name!

Would love to hear your lived experiences.

Answer Is there

Married almost 30 years and didn't change my name. Never been an issue.

It really isn't difficult to change your surname. I've done it several times. No deedpoll needed.

Read the thread.

I've already explained why I haven't changed it.

I need to travel soon. I need my passport.

If I change my name, I'll have to change my passport which can take a while to sort out.

I also rang my three banks to enquire about changing my name on my accounts. They said name changes have to be done in person in the bank.

Banks are only open Monday to Friday. I have no annual leave to take.

That's why!!!

@SparklyJadeFawn I'm a f/t teacher. Banks are definitely open Saturday mornings.* *

You assumed I'm in the UK. I'm not

Couldn't wait to take my husband's name but I'm certainly not his 'property'.

As it was, I had my mum's surname and, since she didn't raise me, I certainly wasn't her 'property' either!

Good for you.

I don't live in the UK. The UK is a large country with more services.

Where I live, there are definitely not any banks open on a Saturday

I kept my name. Children actually have DH’s name but that’s because his name is unusual and interesting and mine is very common. We didn’t double-barrel because our surnames don’t work together. I have no regrets. I am ‘Ms’ always, which would work with either name of course.

It must be great to have banks open on a Saturday!

I sometimes think that some people in the UK don't realise that others countries don't have the exact same services that they do.

Banks are not open on Saturdays everywhere.

They are only open Monday to Friday where I am

@SparklyJadeFawn With respect, if you really wanted to change your surname you would have done so.
Would you change it upon marriage?

With respect.

No i wouldn't

It's my choice so obviously if I really wanted to I would have wouldn't i

I looked into it. The paperwork and time consuming inconvenience of changing my name on my passport/driving licence/bank accounts and utility accounts does not suit me right now. I do not want to go through all that when I'm already extremely busy in a difficult job

It doesn't matter how she feels. If she took the surname that is the reason you have it.

It's not about the reason why I have it.

Its that the name came from my father originally!

Can you agree with that?

The name that my mother had, came from my father originally.

And his mother or father.

His name came from his father's side of the family, not his mothers

Ha! You want to come to my small town in South Yorkshire - 2 banks here, NatWest and Halifax and neither are open on Saturdays or past 4pm on a weekday!

I only changed my name when I was expecting our first child. I kept my name at work, but changed my passport etc .it's useful having the same surname as my dc, but by no means essential. It's never say that well with me, and I will change back to maiden name when they leave school.

I don't think I know anyone who has got married and taken their husband's name on 15 years tbh. Actually, 1 woman, who got married last summer.

Kept my name as it would have felt strange giving up part of my identity.

My husband considered taking my name, as I already had a child with the same name as me. But it seemed like such a faff for him with banks, passport etc. So we have different surnames.

Never given it another thought. The only person who wasn’t happy was MIL, oh well.

Got married in my mid 30s, he'd been married before and had kids, we weren't going to have kids, it seemed too late to bother changing my name, it didn't really occur to me to be honest till people asked.

His name is very common where we live and mine is quite unusual.

I don't have a particular problem being called his name on occasion,he doesn't mind being called mine if I've booked a hotel room or whatever.

I've never really had anyone comment. I think his parents think it's 'a thing' but not in a bad way...

Anyway if we had kids I might have kept my name for work and taken his for convenience.

The paperwork didnt stop her, she decided that it wasnt important enough to her to change her name, to be worth the time and effort involved. Which is fine, thats the choice she made, it was up to her, but its not true that paperwork stopped her, it just made it slightly harder. I had to change 3 bank accounts, a house deed, my passport, my professional registration for my job. I think in total the paperwork took 1 day. Also not everything has to be changed at the same time, I changed my passport 3 years later than I got married as I did it when I expired, and just put my maiden name on travel bookings.

The only one that does annoy me is when we are called Mr and Mrs Bob Jones on invites etc. I'm not Mrs Bob Jones, I'm Jane Jones. So it should be introduced as Jane and Bob Jones (not real names).

Happy to share surname, but annoying to lose first name.

I think in years to come, people will be shocked that this practice of women changing names ever happened (property of etc), similarly to women not having votes. To me it all boils down to equality.