secretive about "good" A level grades to family.

[wheresmymillionaire]

Genuine question, and I'm happy to be told I'm being nosy if necessary!
Is it normal to not share exam grades with family? We are a small family with one niece. Apparently DN was happy with her recent A level results as she passed them all, and my sister put on FB a pic of them out celebrating the results and how proud they were etc. I gave DN some money to say well done, but neither DN nor DS are prepared to say what grades she got. I just find this odd. What's the big deal? Why can't I know what grades she got and be proud of her?

My DC got between them a full mix of A* to E's so I'm not going to be judgmental!

@InsolentNoise I find it a bit strange to be proud of something that your child naturally is without any effort at all.

My child is artistic. She has a great talent- but she also has to work and put a lot of time and effort in to produce her very best work. I feel proud when she does that. If she sits down for five minutes and draws a sketch that comes easily to her but which looks impressive to others, it’s not the same thing. I can still see that the work is impressive but there is not so much pride involved as I know it didn’t ‘cost’ her anything. So for me that’s a difference between feeling impressed/awed and feeling proud.

Maybe we just have a different understanding of pride and what prompts it 🤷🏼‍♀️

I think it is better to say this type of thing than to compare. I take the attitude that grades don't matter but happiness does. I do a lot with this age group and I don't ask ......

That’s fair enough.
My child also has to put in a lot of time and effort to produce a really good drawing that he’s satisfied with.

He used to draw/design cards to order but stopped because he felt that it was becoming a lot of pressure to interpret what was often a fairly obscure brief.

He’s basically quite lazy 😂 so I’m proud that he did so well, despite himself!

He DOES understand that he won’t get away with this in the next set of exams.

DD got her GCSE results today. They were amazing and we were very happy and proud (especially since she'd missed a tonne of school because of health problems).

DD had already decided, before getting the results, that she wasn't going to share them, whatever they were. The only people who know the actual grades are her, the school, and her parents. Literally everyone else - siblings, aunties, friends, grandparents - gets the "she got what she needed and we're really happy."

DD has friends who can be quite competitive, and she wanted to remove herself from that (and from all the other comparisons she might get). She has opted for privacy and I actually think that's very healthy. On a selfish level, I would love to be bragging about her grades. But it's entirely her choice and absolutely nobody needs any more information.

I don’t think it’s tacky to be proud of my child.
I wouldn’t post my own results because that would feel like boasting 😂🤷‍♀️

When dd went in school to collect her results yesterday, she waited for half an hour for all her close friends to collect their envelopes, so that they can open them together.

She did get asked by lots of people what she got, but of course she didn't know because she was waiting. She sent a copy of her grades to me, dh and her brother to let us know she's happy.

We've announced on family groups that she did well and is happy with her grades, nobody pressed for further information after saying well done, she said thank you back and it's up to her if she wants to say what individual grades she got.

Why do you need to know?