secretive about "good" A level grades to family.

[wheresmymillionaire]

Genuine question, and I'm happy to be told I'm being nosy if necessary!
Is it normal to not share exam grades with family? We are a small family with one niece. Apparently DN was happy with her recent A level results as she passed them all, and my sister put on FB a pic of them out celebrating the results and how proud they were etc. I gave DN some money to say well done, but neither DN nor DS are prepared to say what grades she got. I just find this odd. What's the big deal? Why can't I know what grades she got and be proud of her?

My DC got between them a full mix of A* to E's so I'm not going to be judgmental!

It's entirely up to them what information they share - no need to let it bother you.

No don’t take an ‘I’m so open, you’re all weird and secretive’ position! You asked, so listen to the varied replies. Both my kids suffered illness/ mental health issues. So while bright, they didn’t get the highest results. I didn’t care but they requested privacy. And you have to respect that. So if someone says, very pleased with results thanks, and doesn’t give further details- respect it.

Possibly because they were not the grades she wanted and is embarrassed, but her parents are supporting her and encouraging her nonetheless.

I expect she thought she would get A's and B's, but has maybe got C's, D's, and E's. They are trying to keep her spirits up, perhaps?

Even though she's your niece it's actually none of your business!

In my family it’s normal and even if upset with grades I’d share that privately with family. But I guess it’s their prerogative. It will likely be the young adult who doesn’t want to share their grades and that’s their choice.

My DD is due GCSE results this week, I’m sure I’d be sent a message if I didn’t let family know. My DD has worked her socks off and likely to do very well but if she didn’t I’d still let family know personally.

It generally means they didn't do as well as they thought they would!

Doing amazing for one student may be a C, for another an A star. Doesn't necessarily mean one worked harder than the other. But to the outside world (and MN) it seems anything below an A is not good (someone posted on WIWIKAU I believe that they were devastated and 'furious' that their child got AABB).
My DD doesn't say what she got unless someone specifically asks her.

Its great to see people becoming a bit more sensitive and private about exam results.

Where I live 11 plus is a big thing. Some parents lose their minds! Posting scores all over the internet - sending multiple messages asking what other children got. Blows my mind! All reason goes out the window. It’s just the adults - not the kids.

Also this aunt clearly doesn’t think the results are good - she sounds like exactly the sort of person I wouldn’t want to share personal information with

Actually, discussion with my siblings last night yielded two points of interest.

Both of my nephews knew that they’d got into their first choice university before they’d even gone in to collect their grades, as UCAS confirmed their places first thing. That news was shared immediately and no one really bothered about the actual grades.

Apparently, at least at their school, they don’t share them with each other. Grades seem to be regarded as personal information.

My ds had an extremely traumatic early childhood which has left him with physical problems to this day. I adopted him as an older child and he has just completed uni at age 24. It has taken 4 years and been a hell of a struggle. We don't yet have his results as he had one assignment deferred due to medical reasons. Another, younger, family member has just got a first, we didn't ask, the information was volunteered and we are all extremely happy for them. However, Fils partner (been on the scene for about 10 years) constantly asks me if ds has finished his degree yet and what grade did he get. I have explained numerous times that he doesn't have his results and that we are just happy that he's completed it. I see her once a week and no matter what I say, she still asks me what grade of degree he's got. No one else in the family asks what grade he's got, they all just say it's great he completed the degree. I've got so I dread seeing this woman. If she asks me his results again, I think I'll just say it's private and she should ask ds directly if she wants to know his exact results as its not my place to say (she won't do this as he is not very approachable). I'd never dream of asking someone exactly what results they got and if they didn't openly say, then I'd assume they wanted to keep it private.

Ugh I hate the stealth boasts at this time of year. Even if DC got straight A*s I won't be posting the grades on social media. As for telling others it's upto DC if they want to share or not, why does it matter to you so much?!

Sorry, just realised this thread is about A level grades!

Yes but equally well on mn if someone mentions that their DC is disappointed with a C, despite expecting an A, they're told they're being ridiculous and C is very good and they should be happy to have such great results. by people smugly knowing their own DC got all As

I understand not wanting to advertise it to everyone but I’d definitely tell my sister and family. My DD gets her GCSE results tomorrow, she plans to have her Auntie as one of the first people she calls 🤷🏼‍♀️

Just that really : none of anyone business 🤷🏼‍♀️

Yeap, some family are very competitive within the siblings. The adults parents siblings that is 🤣🤣🤣

Well done for not sharing!

She is telling her auntie, and she wants to. That is the difference. OP wants her niece to be forced to tell her information she doesn't want to tell in order to satisfy her nosiness for some reason.

I thought your post was extremely relevant and interesting nonetheless! Sounds like you’ve done a fantastic job with DS, and a pretty good one at batting away annoying FIL partner.

Each to their own.
I posted DC2’s certificate on social media because I was extremely proud of his results. DC2 barely studied but got mostly A’s.

@eastegg That's very kind of you to say, thank you!

What a strange thing to do! I hope you had your child’s permission and blacked out all his personal information!

I find it a bit strange to be proud when you know that your child barely studied. He’s obviously naturally very academic so didn’t have to work. What is there to be proud of in that? It’s like being proud of your child for being really beautiful- that’s just lucky genes. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I feel more pride in my children when they have to really work at something, or they do something really brave or challenging.

Still, we’re all different!

Why is it strange?
And what is anyone going to do with his name and number? Steal his results?

I AM proud of him for being naturally academic, why wouldn’t I be?
He barely studied and got amazing results.

He knows that he will have to put in more effort for the next set of exams.

I’m sure parents of beautiful children are also proud of how they look. It’s only natural.
It’s just the luck of the draw, of course.

If my child were a gifted artist, should I not be proud of him? Can we only be proud if we have endured hardships and challenges?

(he is also very handsome and artistic 🤣)

I suppose I am just shocked that someone would do this - it seems so tacky and boastful. And so personal.

of it was your own personal information and your own results then go for it. But to do this with your children’s personal information just seems off.

sone parents create such a strong internet footprint for their children. It’s discoverable for ever. I am so glad I had sensible parents and the internet wasn’t about in my youth!