To send the screenshots

[Scornorbescorned]

This is a long one so sorry in advance.

About 12 years ago I was in a casual relationship with a guy. He ended up getting 'the other woman' pregnant and marrying her.

I married had a child and divorced in this time.

We kind of kept in touch about once every three months or so and after one too many glasses of wine I told him about the divorce. He said he was separated and we should meet for a drink.

I said I wouldn't go near him until he was definitely separated/divorced and communication went quiet.

A few weeks later he sent me a message saying it was all over he was living at his mum's divorce was going through - we met for a drink.

We got on well and met a few more times but eventually I found out that he hadn't separated and was still with his wife.

Yesterday I went for a few drinks with my friends and his wife was in the same bar and started shouting "homewrecker" "dirty slag" "lock up your husbands" so I left the bar to stop the scene and went home.

This morning I have woken up to a lot of missed calls from his number and an unknown number and a load of abusive text messages threatening to come to my house and shout my business for the whole street to hear.

I know I'm in the wrong for getting involved with a married man but should I just send her the screenshots of him saying it was all over between them?

One of my friends has also seen the guy active on a well known online dating site.

Yeah I'd send them. Nothing to lose on an already crazy situation. How does she know about you?

I'm not sure - maybe got caught and admitted it

We both knew each other was married and the keeping in touch was nothing more than polite chit chat kind of stuff nothing personal really

Well, she sounds delightful... No, I wouldn't engage. Block both numbers. Report for harassment if she does show up. Bin the whole situation and move on.

Send them, she deserves the truth. Block and delete.

I saw them together on a family day out holding hands/kissing

Could he have been going through a divorce due to him having an affair with another woman and his ex wife thought you were her?

But I think that it sounds like however good a shag he is, he's not worth the hassle because he's unlikely to ever be a good monogamous partner, if that's what you're looking for.

He's definitely not the monogamous type and I should have known from my first experience with him not to get involved

@Scornorbescorned I'd send the screen shot. She clearly has been fed some lies by this man.

I'd then tell her that as she can see from the messages you only met up with him as he'd said he was getting divorced and that clearly you've both been lied to.

No I didn't I walked in the opposite direction and made it clear to him by text message later that day that I knew they were still together and wouldn't see him again.

Definitely send the screen shots. Cheeky cow.

His poor wife and children 🫤

I'd do this too and then block both numbers and have no more to do with either of them.

Well yes... but also the wife was the other woman herself to begin with... Still a shame for the children though

But aren't you just making it impossible for the OP here? Now even if it's true that she didn't do any of what you've suggested, she can't win as you've decided she'll deny anyway. A bit like the witch trials years ago where people were either a witch for confessing, or a witch for not confessing.