It’s becoming unfashionable to have kids

[Housebuyingfamily]

Birth rates are on the floor which people frame as, people would have more kids were it not for the cost of them or climate change, etc etc. But I feel like it’s now more than this. As if we have a global child-free culture that’s growing every day and it’s becoming increasingly “unfashionable” to have kids, even looked down upon.

Cant day I have noticed this.

Nonsense. Sorry, never noticed this. Far more people still have kids than don’t too.

It’s not unfashionable. Lack of finances are a massive contributing factor in our decreasing birth rate. As more mothers these days have professional jobs (which is fantastic) many families cannot afford the ongoing childcare to go with this. Many women are forced to choose between having another child and giving up work.

Yes you are right op.

I'm also absolutely astounded by the number of young couples I see out with dogs which they treat like children and fussy over like they're proud parents.

I agree with you OP. There is a pretty big child free movement these days. I'm totally fine about it (I have children, my closest friend doesn't) but I cannot say I haven't noticed. I may be more aware of it because I live in a recently "gentrified" area of a city where there are lots of "doggy friendly" pubs and cafes etc(plus dogs in prams in the local park) whereas kids are pretty much looked down on. 😅

This is nonsense. I don't have kids but idgaf whether it's fashionable or not - that did not factor one iota into my decision!

I don't want them. I don't have the Financial security to accommodate a child. I rent a tiny flat. I'm single, but tbh not one of my exes would have made a good father.

My decision is sensible. And many, many women I know are in the same position. We're not not having kids because it's fucking trendy.

Nobody's told the thirty something crowd round here 🤣 Pavement permanently chocka with buggies, scooters and sprogs.

I must admit I do sometimes wonder that if I was thinking about having my children now, rather than back in the 90s, whether I'd have been quite so keen. The impact of climate change could be profound.

Is it really a choice if people decide they don't want children because of the cost of living and housing?

We have one because we met and started a family later in life (late 30s/early 40s). If we’d met younger, we’d have definitely have had a second, at least (god willing).

I don’t sense that having kids isn’t fashionable. I mean, it’s never been super cool has it?

IDK. The child free lobby is more outspoken than ever, but that might be misleading. It's hard to judge numbers because you disproportionately meet people on the same side of the fence as yourself.

Some of the delay in having children is economic factors, which isn't the same as it being unfashionable, but does contribute to the statistical decline.

I haven't noticed this at all op, you must live in a different area to me!

Off the top of my head:

My friend and a lady from toddler group both expecting their 4th.

At my son's school a mum with 4 kids, another with 6 and another with 9 (yes 9).

My SIL has 3

A lady at toddler group who has 4

I always generally see pregnant women out and about.

Babies and children are everywhere op!!

80% of women by age 45 have had a child/children.

Unfortunately, motherhood has long been looked down on by patriarchy, but that is perhaps not what you're getting at?

As somebody who is childless and receives a level of vitriol for it that would never be aimed at those with children I think this is nonsense.

You literally have a US VP pick who has made incredibly offensive comments about those without children as well as arguing that parents should have more voting rights than non-parents. There would never be a VP that would say similar about parents.

Birth rates are not dropping because “children are unfashionable” but for multiple reasons. Most people who do not have children are not childfree, they are childless by circumstance. This is a load of panic over nothing. Most people have children. They are having fewer children than previously but still having them. Me not having children has nothing to do with “fashion.”

This is just anecdotal. The UK birth rate is falling

Not sure what you mean by "fashionable"? Far more women have kids than don't, albeit they don't have as many, and not having them at all is more common.
Having more than 2 or 3 is definitely less "fashionable" (or common) than when I grew up in the '80s.

This. I know loads of women without kids, not because it’s “trendy” but because that was the most sensible decision for their life circumstances.

True, but this is mainly because more people stick to one, and more than two is an increasing rarity. Although more people do not have children, the bigger impact is those who do, having fewer.

I know what you mean, OP, in that the handful of friends I have with children seem to try and justify wanting them as though they feel embarrassed about it to our larger friendship group, who are mostly childfree by choice. Which I think is a bit sad, because they're obviously happy and wanted them. But there's certainly a general feeling amongst the people I know (in a broad sense) that not having children is the sensible/default option and those who choose to are interestingly bold or going against the grain!

As well, of the 10 or so 20-30 year olds I work with, only one says they want children. Obviously a lot can change from being 20 and in your first job, but anecdotally I've definitely seen a shift in how 'inevitable' having children seemed when I was in my late teens/early 20s.

I think it's seen less of an automatic given that you should want to have children. And as others have said add economic factors etc then people will have less children. I don't think it has anything to do with 'fashion'.

It's becoming acceptable to not have kids.

That's not the same as unfashionable or 'looked down' on.

Yes it’s a choice. It’s not a choice in the way being childfree is but it’s still a choice rather than selecting a different option.

Hmm maybe, maybe not? I mean, if you desperately want a child, and got pregnant, then you'll probably find a way to make it work. For me personally, the other factors only reinforced my decision, rather than making it for me iyswim.

I guess what I'm getting at is, if you're not that fussed about having kids, then your current situation can make you think it wouldn't be fair on a child anyway.

I know women who got pregnant and then partners left them so they are single mums, worse off financially than they envisaged for themselves and their lives. But they always wanted to be mothers so they make it work and do the best they can by their child.

But in answer to the OP, it's a personal choice, based on a variety of factors. But only an idiot would decide whether or not to have a child based on what was en vogue...

The birth rate is falling and has been falling for decades since the 60s overall, (there have been some peaks during that time but it doesnt affect the overall decline)

Its about women having a choice.

In more recent years I suppose people have become more aware of and outspoken of the effect on the planet of having children, so everytime much is made of a particular car, or someone taking a flight, or someone with a woodburner, the reality is that having a child outweighs those issues.

If thats 'fashion' well I suppose that might be what you're picking up OP

2 babies and 2 toddlers just in my cul de sac. Plenty of people having kids round here.