It’s becoming unfashionable to have kids

[Housebuyingfamily]

Birth rates are on the floor which people frame as, people would have more kids were it not for the cost of them or climate change, etc etc. But I feel like it’s now more than this. As if we have a global child-free culture that’s growing every day and it’s becoming increasingly “unfashionable” to have kids, even looked down upon.

You must be loving in a different reality than I am 😂

Well no, I am talking from experience. Childfree people I know personally.

Why is it a “waste” for somebody to live their life on their terms?

(and I genuinely doubt there are any people who chose not to have children because they spend all their time at music concerts. Sounds like a handily invented stereotype.)

@BruFord I don't think it's that the career matters more so much as young people are much more worried about their lifetime finances now as everything is so ludicrously perilous.
And they wouldn't be wrong to be concerned. My income is now less than it was 8 years ago, before I had children. And accounting for inflation I probably have 1/3 less in terms of income. If I hadn't I'd probably be earning at least 1/3 more than back then. It really does hit your financial stability.
I used to be relatively comfortable and now I worry about money daily and in my 40s that's not a place it's nice to be. If I knew what I knew now, I would definitely have spend more time on the decision (I always did want children, but tried to wait til the time was right financially... hollow laugh)

The child free lobby

whar is this 🤣🤣🤣

'As if we have a global child-free culture that’s growing every day and it’s becoming increasingly “unfashionable” to have kids, even looked down upon.'

If you want to talk about being looked down on, try being child free.

How many child free people do you know?

Less than 10?

It's just more acceptable to not have kids if you don't want them. In the past, women were made to feel abnormal if they didn't want kids. Many women don't so they can freely voice this and live their life how they want to.
The majority seem to want kids so they can carry on as want too.

It's less to do with fashion and more to do with piss poor wages, rocketing cost of living, childcare costs and housing insecurity. Many people stuck in rented accommodation aren't allowed to hang a picture never mind have a child.

furbabies I think is what they are called.
It turns my stomach, tbh.

It’s not the past I’m concerned with (although I don’t dispute that it certainly wasn’t idyllic) but the future..comparing a better future for children in some areas doesn’t equate to a better world for children overall

There have been a few threads along the lines of “what do child free people do with their lives?” which have confirmed that many people with children think that the lives of childfree people are empty and meaningless.

Why is it a waste if they're happy?

I'm sure there are lots of child free people who look at my life with kids - my buggered career and lack of fun time - and think "what a waste".

I'm glad I did it, but fuck me do I look with envy at the latest festival snaps and foreign holiday updates of my child free friends.

I was a LOT more interesting company before I had kids.

Again why either or? Plenty people with children have pets.

What doesn't seem 'grim' to you then? What do you consider to be a fulfilling life?

Agree entirely

And there are women who think it sounds 'grim' to spend their lifes wiping up poo, vomit and bogies.

Different folks, different strokes.

I am really glad more people are making an active choice about whether they want kids or not. I think it's fucking marvellous people are choosing festivals and gigs over having kids if they want to prioritise that. Far far too many people slip into having kids without realising what it entails, the commitment or energy or temperament that makes a "good enough" parent. Mumsnet is riddled with posts about the consequences of shitty parenting.....Women with crap self esteem, repeated poor partner choices and stuck in a cycle of overwhelm and guilt. I'm delighted more people feel n freed to make an actual choice v and I hope it will mean less intergenerational misery.

I don’t think it’s anything to do with fashion and more to do with the fact that people in their 20’s/30’s have grown up hearing the mantra “don’t have kids if you can’t afford them”

and they have assessed that they can’t, and so they’re not.

It would be empty and meaningless for many adults to spend their lives wiping another humans ass, cleaning up its sick, dealing with tantrums, revolving weekends around boring hobbies for the child and then the teenage years only for them to walk off and live their own life.

@JamSandle I agree that it’s grim, but it’s hardly a life sentence. I’m sure that your Mum doesn’t clean up your excretions nowadays. 🤣 I haven’t cleaned up after DD (19) and DS (15) for years.

Yes well the childfree adults who think these things are beneath them should thank their lucky stars some people do have kids, as when they're elderly, it will be someone else's child who is caring for them.

Being a parent IS for life though. And not every woman wants that.

Motherhood has long been seen by the patriarchy as a means of controlling women and keeping them from gaining financial power and public life.

Aren't you lucky. My friends child is severely disabled and isn't potty trained at nearly 10.
Glad you're laughing about it. Not everyone is so lucky