Hi I’ve posted here before and asked some other questions but NC just to make less identifiable.
My ex and I split up when I was pregnant, he was adamant didn’t want the baby, threatened suicide etc etc.
Notified when DC born, denied paternity, had to go to CMS, sporadic contact every 4-6 weeks…
When DC was around 6 months old he apologised for his behaviour and begged for another chance which I gave (blamed MH, said I was the love of his life, I know it sounds silly and I should never have given another chance given the above but it’s too late now). Not living together as a lot to work through but spoken about that if things were going well we would buy together (his idea).
Began to spend time together as a family and couple/including with his family. Holidays and trips away together. ExDp works away so I did a lot of travelling while on my maternity leave in order to facilitate the contact/our relationship.
Started to notice after a while (been almost a year) that it felt like it was myself doing all the running around, and that often when exDP had time off he was spending it doing what he wanted/with friends/going out rather than being together as a family, which felt odd.
After querying the status of the relationship he said that he didn’t consider us to be together and completely rewrote history.
I decided from that point that I would no longer be a pretend girlfriend, and would not be travelling to him/giving him sex/bringing his child to him/pretending to be a family/or sending him daily texts and photos about his child given we are not together.
I asked him which set days he would like his child but he won’t commit to anything due to working away, says “we” (him, his mum and dad) want DC on an ad hoc basis due to his work, and that I’m being really inflexible. I want stability for DC and also myself as I work full time. I don’t think it’s fair for him to rock up week by week and decide what suits him and his work. DC attends nursery locally so I can work and is very happy and settled.
ExDP now says he is taking me to court and will be asking for an ad hoc arrangement and that he will be given this due to the nature of his work. An “exception” he has called it. Apparently a solicitor has told him this. He says if it’s a no he will have set days however his parents will be having DC due to his work.
I will be speaking to a family solicitor but AIBU to think that contact time is for my ex to see DC and not his parents?