To be angry at boyfriend for pulling out of holiday?

[Triptofarce]

Boyfriend and I have planned trip if a lifetime to a far away destination.

We’d booked flights, but are very last minute and hasn’t yet got around to booking our accommodation and activities.

Boyfriend got I’ll a couple of weeks ago, and has slowly been getting better.

he insisted today that he would be well enough for us to go on this trip next week. So tonight we booked hotels and activities (spent over £2000).

he then seemed stressed and anxious. I asked why and he reluctantly stated that he actually isn’t sure whether he’ll feel well enough to do the trip, and might need to pull out of it.

theres no way I want to do it on my own, so it means I’ll have to miss out too.

if he had told me he was unsure about whether he’d be well, then we wouldn’t have booked everything else today and would only have lost out on the flight money. But now we’ll lose out on an extra £2000 (non cancellable).

AIBU to be absolutely bloody pissed off with him?

Well he goes or he pays you back for your lost money. Or you go anyway, which is the option I'd take.

Is he usually this idiotic?

Take a friend?

Once on the flight he doesn’t have to move!!

I'd go without him if he does decide to pull out, no way would I lose out on the experience or the money.

Do you have travel insurance?
If not I would DEFINITELY GO life is too short

Travel insurance won't cover for cancelling for an illness he already had when they spent most of the money.

I would be gone like a shot! No way would I miss out on a holiday because of him.

What an absolute moron.
I would be furious.
Is he going to completely repay you?
If not go on this holiday with a friend and dump this idiot.
I couldn't be with such stupidity.

Why won't you do it alone?

It involves travelling around a country staying in cabins and remote places in the mountains. And it’s too late notice for any of my friends to join me now.

I’ve not asked him to pay me back, I don’t know whether that would be harsh if me. But I‘m quietly furious with him at the moment.

What explanation has he given for being so utterly stupid and potentially wasting so much money?

I would be fuming ! He either owes you money or goes

Just go without him, and maybe meet a chap worthy of your time whilst on your trip. Or just enjoy being without a deadweight.

Have a lovely holiday!

@Triptofarce how ill was he? An illness that has a lengthy recovery time can be difficult to manage and accept when you’re usually fit and healthy. He may have been feeling optimistic and convinced himself that he’ll be well enough to go but the process of booking has given him the realisation that his health just isn’t good enough yet for this level of travel. Not to excuse his extremely unhelpful and costly decisions but may help you to understand where he’s coming from. It’s easy to think you feel better than you do when recovering until you actually try to do something. I’d be frustrated too but, depending on what was wrong with him, it’s understandable that he’s anxious to go.

He has recovered from the illness itself, and is now just getting tired in the afternoons.

We have accommodated this by not booking hikes like we had originally planned, but instead much more chilled activities.

He also insisted that we had to finish booking everything this evening, so the pressure to book didn’t come from me.

I know he can’t help how he feels with his illness but I’m so disappointed. I’d saved up for 2 years to afford this holiday.

I think you need to give yourself a bit of time to think it through. The potential of missing out on a much wanted trip must be devastating.

But managing chronic health issues is a tricky thing. My dp has health issues, and sometimes commits to things because he wants so much to be well enough to do them. It can be difficult to come to terms with.

I wonder if this is one of those times when it's hard for everyone?

What type of ill was he? A case of the man flu or life threatening illness?

Has he travelled a lot before? Maybe he’s just a little anxious or nervous about it now it’s all finally booked.

I would not make any decisions right now, he could be feeling completely different in a few days time.

I personally would still be going even if he didn’t. Do all your research on where you’re going and take the necessary security measures for yourself.

It was pretty bad a couple of weeks ago, he was in hospital overnight. He has been recovering since though and now his only remaining symptom is fatigue in the afternoon, usually alleviated by a nap.

I have repeatedly asked him over and over whether he’s sure he’s still up for the trip, and told him that we can cancel if he isn’t. He has insisted throughout that he will be well enough, and he encouraged us to book everything tonight.

if he had been honest earlier about having doubts about his fitness then we could have avoided being in this situation. That’s why I’m feeling angry at him.

I would be beyond angry honestly
I would be furious
And yes I'd want him to pay me the money back

Requiring an afternoon nap isn't a reason to cancel an expensive holiday. What a drip.

Well it being 'hard for everyone' doesn't change the fact that OP's 2 years worth of savings are gone! and unlike a married couple it's not 'family money'

He must pay her back at the very least.

He isn’t sure or he is definitely not going?

Can't you just say to him to rest and see how it goes? Sounds like he's have a panic and maybe needs some assurances. Getting mad won't help the situation.

So he insisted you book it OP, but he wasnt putting any of HIS money on the table?
He should be the one who takes the financial hit OP.
(In future always make sure he's putting his money at risk & not yours)

He will need to refund you as he has seriously misled you here.